Free, For The First Time

The warmth from the sun beamed down as Amy strolled toward the ocean. She put her feet in first, testing the temperature. The cool water refreshed her skin automatically. The heat from the sun vanished as she waded deeper into the ocean. Amy closed her eyes as the waves rushed over her, finally knocking her down. She laughed as she ran back toward the shore. The clean water, the white sandy beaches, and the smell of salt in the air engulfed her. She was right where she needed to be.

Later that afternoon, she showered and dried her golden hair. She usually covered her ample figure, but tonight something felt different. She dressed in a coral v-neck dress that came to her knees. As she gazed at herself in the mirror, she was stunned. She recognized herself once again, something she hadn't done in a long time.

Amy dropped her ID into her purse as she set out for a stroll along the beach. Once she was a fraction down the beach, the wind became increasingly gusty. The gusts blew her dress up, along with knocking the shawl she threw on at the last minute. Normally she would feel embarrassed, but at this moment, she felt free. 

After she tracked her shawl down and wrapped herself up, she continued down the shore. Her ears perked up as she noticed music drifted ever so slightly. She recognized the song smiling as she hummed the tune.

As the music got closer, she realized it was coming from a steak and seafood restaurant. Instinctively, she wanted to turn around. Amy had never dined alone before. Instead, she walked up along the wooden boardwalk and pulled the door open. Her face instantly blushed pink as she asked for a table for one.

Once Amy was seated, she peered over the menu. Everything sounded wonderful. She settled on salmon with a baked potato. She laughed to herself, at least there's one vegetable on the plate! The waiter, who was in his mid-twenties, carded her when she ordered her drink. Amy, who felt she looked all of her thirty-four years, felt twenty-one again.

As she waited for her dinner, she looked around at the families and couples dining. She smiled as a young boy dove into his dessert. The music was nice, and just for a moment, she wished she wasn't alone. She ate her food slowly, enjoying the solitude she was struck by her instinct to clear the table once she had finished.

After dinner, without knowing her destination, she set off down the shore. She listened as the waves softly swept up and out again, washing shells from view. The sun was starting to set, causing a rainbow of colors to bleed through the blue sky. Amy's thoughts wandered as her pace steadied. A year ago today, she was still recovering in rehab, recovering from her injuries some you couldn't see. She fought back tears as she remembered the wreck that changed her path forever.

Amy tried to calm her husband down as he rushed through the traffic. Unfortunately, she had seen this rage before from him. Sometimes he acted out his anger on her, and now he was furious speeding past cars, screaming as he went. Fear crept up in her throat, as he went ten, fifteen, twenty over the limit. Why had she believed he was sober?

Looking at his eyes told her otherwise. She scolded herself for not asking for a ride from someone at work. She thought his last stint in rehab helped. Screaming did nothing to slow him down, and pleading only infuriated him. Her last thought as the car flipped and landed in the ditch was, How did we get here?

She woke up in the hospital with broken bones and a concussion. Fortunately, no other cars were involved, but her husband was instantly killed. She spent time in rehab learning to walk again alone as her husband was buried. She wasn't close to her family and hadn't spoken to them in years.

After she was released from the hospital, the realization she was alone overwhelmed her. She married quickly out of college. Soon after her wedding day, her husband went from considerate to calculating. He was verbally and physically abusive. Apologizing each time it happened. Suffering from depression kept her frozen in place as he controlled her life.

The accident was a curse and a blessing. Setting her free from a life of abuse, yet, she didn't know how to be alone. After she recovered from her accident, she went back to an empty home. She made the quick decision to move and went searching for what comes next. Amy wiped tears away, as the memories left her thoughts.

She continued up the beach, collecting shells as she walked. Each shell she picked up was different from the last. Each telling a different story. The moonlight danced on the water as the waves gently swept up. In the distance, she spotted a crowd of people around a ship. Curiosity moved her closer. 

Once she was near, she saw a sign offering dolphin cruises. That sounded nice, as this was her first trip to the ocean, and she had never seen a dolphin before. She took a place near the front of the ship. Families gathered in preparation for the tour. As the boat went, it kept its promise as dolphins jumped and swam around the boat. Instinctively, she took out her phone to take pictures. She decided against it, wanting to experience this in real-time.

Just as a dolphin went by, a man put his son up on the side of the ship to see closer. He held him tightly, as the boy peered over and laughed at the dolphin. Amy smiled to herself. Noticing the boy shivering, she offered his shawl to wrap himself in. She wanted to have kids one day, but first, she needed to live for herself. She wiped a tear away as finally, she felt free and at peace.