The journey of forgiveness

It had been twenty-four years since she’d last seen it, but the place looked exactly the same, as eerie as ever, and still managed to give her goosebumps. 

A broken gate, topped with the words "Rierie Amuset ark" called out to her, luring her back into her past. The gate creaked as she pushed it to make her way in. This was her last stop. She needed this.

There were no trees and yet there were dead leaves all around the otherwise bare ground. She could see the carousel on her left, the house of horrors on her right, and all the little stalls that once brought smiles to children's faces. 

She closed her eyes for a moment and in that moment, she was taken back in time to one of the many Sundays she spent with her friends and family at Riverine Amusement Park. The carousel would always be an attraction point for the little ones and their willing or unwilling parents! The house of horrors was for dares and teenagers and everything in between was for the love birds. A single tear rolled down her cheek and glistened in the sunlight as she remembered being in every one of those categories. She could smell cotton candy and popcorn, see glitter and colors, and hear music and chatter. 

Then, she opened her eyes.

It was like someone had gone in there, ripped every structure layer by layer until they lost their color, left a stench of ashes and lost hope, and an imaginary grey cloud over the park which never seemed to leave, no matter what the forecast. 

Emily had lost exactly three loves of her life until today - her beloved dog, Coco who ran away from home never to be found, her first boyfriend who left her for another with no warning, but the one that hurt the most was when she lost her best friend in this very park. 

"People always leave", she would say, and throughout her losses, she found a common factor - herself. This "discovery" put her on a rather disturbing path as she blamed herself for her losses - be it believing that she was the one who left the door open and fell asleep the day Coco went missing or blaming herself for not giving Tim the things he wanted even though she wasn't ready to. Through it all, however, she had her best friend, Sophie. 

Sophie and Emily loved playing detective and when Coco ran away, Sophie prove to Emily that it wasn't her fault. By good old-fashioned police work, Sophie pointed out how the door Emily thought Coco escaped from wasn't the door she left through. They recounted the events of the day together: they came back from school and went up to Emily's room to play. Sophie had just gotten the latest fashion designer play set that day and they just had to check it out. After about two hours of designing the best dress ever - a sequin-filled mermaid dress, Emily was exhausted and wanted to take a break. Sophie had to head home as well so Emily showed her out. 

Sophie reminded Emily that she had locked the door because right after she closed the door, Sophie heard a sharp bang - the bowl of keys by the door. Emily had screamed "it's all good" without opening the door and Sophie looked at Emily through the little glass on the door and laughed. Emily, being quite frantic at the time, did not entirely remember this and so didn't believe Sophie readily. Sophie stepped up her game and took Emily towards the back door to examine more facts. That's where they saw the little yellow ball Coco used to play with covered in saliva. At that moment, Emily remembered that her mom had called the plumber that day and while going upstairs, she caught a glimpse of him entering through the back door. It made sense that a person who didn't live in her house didn't know that all doors had to be closed as Coco was a runner and given her old age, she was quite forgetful so there was a chance she wouldn't find her way back. While her guilt reduced manifold, Emily was inevitably still upset. However, Sophie was with her throughout.

Same thing with Tim. 

These were just a few reasons why Emily couldn't get herself to come back to Riverine Amusement Park. She couldn't face her emotions, not without Sophie. She couldn't lift her head high enough to see the Ferris wheel in the distance. 

However, after twenty-four long years, Emily wanted to come back here. To remember the good times. 

She was finally able to look up and she saw it - the giant Ferris wheel - the biggest structure in their little town. It used to be the most colorful, the most lit, and the loudest attraction in the park. You could see the whole town from the top of the Ferris wheel.

Now, it was black, battered, and broken. Crows flew around it in circles, adding to the sinister ambiance. 

As she made her way to the wheel, Emily began to recall that night. It was the last night of Summer vacation. They would be walking into school as ninth-graders the next day and they wanted to rejoice their last day of being eighth-graders. 

Sophie was afraid of heights and had never once been on the wheel. Emily had always held this against Sophie because Emily loved the view from the top and always wanted to share that experience with Sophie. That night, Emily had the rare opportunity of being a wing woman for her best friend. After countless slushies and mountains of cotton candy, the duo ran into Jung - the boy Sophie had been crushing on for the past year, but had never made a move. 

Emily knew that the most romantic spot in the whole park was at the top of the wheel. After much persuasion and promises about finally getting her first kiss, Emily had convinced Sophie to make her debut on the Ferris wheel. Jung, on the other hand, didn't need much convincing. Ecstatic, Emily escorted them like a true wing woman and dropped them at the wheel. 

Emily couldn't wait to be the annoying third wheel and planned to stare at them the whole time in plain sight - the top of the house of horrors. Just as she was leaving the wheel area, she pulled out her phone - as one does when one is in a public place all alone - and saw 14 missed calls from her mom. Her heart in her hand, she called her mom back. To hear better, she left the noisy park and understood that her mom was going to drop Rose, Emily's sister, at the park as her parents wanted to go for a movie - so not an emergency but understandable. 

By the time Emily went back, she saw that the wheel had started making its classic slow spin. She squealed and went towards the house of horrors. On her way, she met Jung. Confused, she went towards him and asked for Sophie's whereabouts. Jung explained that he went to get some snacks for the ride and by the time he came back, the wheel had already started and was full. 

Emily remembered being extremely worried for Sophie because of her fear of heights. 

She wondered why Sophie didn't just get out of the seat, but knew couldn't do much, apart from wait. However, the worst thing that can happen with the wheel happened - it stopped working and all Emily could see was that Sophie was at the top. With all the noise, they couldn't hear each other screaming. Emily pleaded the man who ran the wheel to do something, but all he said was that they had to wait for the generator to kick back in. 10 minutes turned to 20 and 20, turned to 30. Emily remained right below Sophie, talking to her in sign language, considering Sophie didn't have a phone. A few minutes later, Emily had to go pick her sister up from the front gate. She tried to communicate this with Sophie and told Jung to stay right there until she got back. 

Emily ran out to get Rose. The moment she stepped out of the gate, she heard the loudest bang and remembers falling outwards grabbing Rose in her arms. 

She woke up in the hospital and learned that there was some sort of short circuit, resulting in a huge fire in the park. 

Sophie was gone.

Emily now reached the Ferris wheel and was on the verge of having a panic attack. She held on to one of the seats on the wheel for support and tried to catch her breath. She sat in the battered seat and cried. She cried her heart out until there were no more tears left. 

She stared out into the open, the cool wind blowing on her face, as she tried to forgive herself. 

She couldn't. She realized she will never be able to. As she got up to leave, she noticed something etched on the rusty inside of the metallic seat. 

"Yo, so stupid that I can't hear u. I'm shit scared but the view is amazing. Thanks 4 this Em. Can't wait 2 come back down and go again with u.Why am I writing this? Haha k bye xx"

Emily couldn't believe her eyes. She lost her best friend in the blink of an eye and to hear from her felt magical. At that moment, for the first time, Emily didn't blame herself. Leave it to Sophie to make Emily feel better even when she's not around.

Emily walked away, happier, knowing Sophie was in a better place, and that was all that mattered.