FINALLY SOMETHING WHITE

It is already the end of autumn 1994. The war in Bosnia is still going on. We hope, we deeply believe, that the war will come to an end at least in the spring when everything comes to life, when we, the walking dead, dried up by hunger, by shells and sirens, terrified by war, will come to life again. Well, in the spring everything grows, and revives, nothing should die!

I'm in a hurry, almost running to get to work. On me, the pants are tied with a tie around the waist and thus reduced to at least three sizes smaller than the previous one, because I lost a lot of weight. The jacket is hanging on me, a scarf around my neck I knitted from the wool of an old sweater, and on my feet are some old boots, of course, straight jeans, which help me in the race. I keep running ... I reach the intersection and as soon as I get there, I see barricades in the place where there used to be traffic lights that winked at pedestrians and drivers with their eyes. Next to one of the barricades stands a soldier in a camouflage uniform, decorated with a rifle and other military equipment. I tried to somehow bypass him at the moment when he was lighting a cigar with his head down and to continue with a hasty step further, but he suddenly roughly pulled my hand and shouted:

- Where did you go?! Can't you see I'm here? You must contact me first if you think of

  anything further!

- I'm sorry. I thought you were only here for the driver.

- Oh my God, what a driver! It's war. Do you see any vehicle here? There are no carts

 or tractors!

- Well, I mean those who transport something, so you control them so that they might

  not be smuggling. Please don't take this for me, but I'm really in a hurry.

- I'm sorry, but you have to pay a fine because you didn't talk to me! It's a prescribed

  rule! But, give me a personal one! I have to seduce you into my notebook!

With trembling hands, I take my ID out of my purse, hand it to him, and ask:

- But please, what punishment?

- You have to pay the fine, and period!

He shakes off the ashes, takes another smoke, and squints. I guess he's thinking of some punishment to give me.

- Sir, I am asking you again for a little understanding. I'm in a hurry. If I'm late for

  work, I'll get fired!

- I am no gentleman to you! I'm a soldier and that's how you address me! Everyone is in a hurry to find a woman, but the rules must be followed. As punishment, you must hand over five kilos of flour to me here within half an hour, it doesn't matter which one, but without it, there is no bread for the soldiers. We also have canned meat, and beans, but we don't have flour, so we should also have bread.

- Why five kilos of flour?! Where does the flour come from?

He writes my information in his notebook and adds:

- Our army decides that not me. You did well. You could have received a bigger fine. And you also know this. According to the new rules, if you don't pay the fine immediately, the first person who happened to be here while you tried to get around me will pay, and it's up to you to find them!

- Now I don't understand anything!

- Find that person to pay the fine for you and we're done.

- But sir, I mean, soldier, there was anyone at the intersection!

- Yes, yes. There was a man in a white jacket.

- But how did I not see him?!

- He was, he was. Run and find him. You have half an hour at your disposal. Time

  flows - Now!

- Wait, I will still pay the fine. I will go home to get flour, even if my family is left

  without bread and I am late for work.

- No, you can't now! You did not want to comply with the first level of the procedure

 and now you have to move on to the second. Run, your time is running out, snapped

  the soldier rudely, give me back my ID and blow the whistle!

As soon as I arrived, I put my one in my purse and immediately started running and running like a madman on the sidewalk, on the street, everywhere my feet took me, looking for a man in a white jacket whom I had never seen before! I stopped thinking about anything. I just ran and ran. Behind me, I heard a soldier shouting:

- Know, if you don't find a man in a white jacket, you go to the third level of

             punishment according to the procedure prescribed by our military rules on traffic

            violations!

I turned my head and saw this soldier running after me. I don't know how he can run so fast with that huge equipment on him, but he runs! As I ran faster and faster, I didn't hear him anymore, and turning around briefly, I didn't even see him. I wondered what the third level was, what was waiting for me... And then I stopped wondering, thinking about anything. I continued running almost out of breath along the empty sidewalks and streets where there was no one. I could barely breathe, all wet with sweat and I kept running.

Suddenly, a terrible crowd appeared in front of me, as if out of the blue, and I found myself in it. I pass tractors, and cyclists in jackets of all possible colors, except white, I hit pedestrians, but again not a single one in a white jacket... Pedestrians look at me in amazement, point their fingers at me, some laugh at me. At a pedestrian crossing, I almost collided with a large group of excited kindergarten children being led somewhere by the teachers. My children are now laughing at me and I am at them I wave to them and keep going ... I keep running and I reach a huge roundabout, then I run in a circle, it never ends and I wonder again with growing fear:

- God, will the third level also hit me? Who knows what he means?! Maybe I'll have to

  look for that man outside the city even further?! And how, when I don't have an iota

 of strength left in me?! My mouth is dry, crying out for a drop of water, but no.

  There's no way to get water. If it started raining, it would be much easier for me...

And while I'm thinking about it in a panic, I get my foot stuck on something on the road and I'm starting to fall, fall, and fall, and the rain along with me...

Suddenly, I wake up in my bed, tired, overtired, covered in sweat, and as if through a fog I finally see something white, my husband in a white shirt. I hear him calling me as if from a distance, and I want to go back to sleep.

- Wake up, dear... You probably dreamed something awful and must have felt bad in

  your dream?! You don't look good at all!

I couldn't say anything, but I felt tired. I closed my eyes again. The husband rushed to another room to get a blood pressure monitor. I opened my eyes for a moment and saw some fear in his. He measured my blood pressure and, seeing that it was very high, he insisted on taking me to the doctor. I agreed. I was sick. I barely took off my pajamas and got dressed, of course, with his help. My husband barely put me in the car and later we ended up at the people in white, in our Family Clinic....

It was the fall of 2o22.