Promises

"You'll catch me if I fall right Dad?" I asked as I climbed on my bike "I promise." My dad lifted his hand as if swearing and oath and I was reassured. I boarded my bike and started to peddle. It felt wobbly and unfamiliar, suddenly that shining confidence drained from my aura and pure fear of falling filled my head. "DAD I'M GOING TO FALL!" I screeched as the bike tilted dangerously to the left. My dad sprinted over and caught me right in time.

"You'll be at my party right Dad? No matter what?" I asked. It was a big day, I was finally a double-digit and my dad could NOT miss this. "I promise." he lifted his hand and swore it. It was 5:00 pm and my dad was an hour late, I knew he wasn't going to make it. I stormed upstairs and slammed the door, leaving the guests at my party. I sobbed into my pillow. How could he miss this? How could he break his promise? He swore it. Anger boiled and brewed inside me, it was like poison, extremely toxic. I thought of everything I would say to my dad, every single word I recited over and over savagely until I heard the door open. I heard the jolly voice of my father and I skidded downstairs. There he was covered in snow his nose red with cold. He smiled his warm smile at me and I ran toward him. I laughed and squeezed him so hard.

"You'll be at my graduation right Dad?" I asked over the phone. I was done with high school and I knew my dad wouldn't miss it. "I promise." he lifted his hand and I knew he'd be there. I started the walk. People cheering and laughing, me and my friends giggling and smiling proudly at everyone and ourselves. I saw my family but not my dad. My smile faded. I was about to walk up to get my diploma. He was going to miss it. I walked up somberly but my jaw dropped open in shock! It was my dad! He was presenting my diploma to me. "Kate June Carter." he announced my name and I broke down in tears. I ran and hugged him, he gave me my diploma and I smiled more broadly than any other day.

"You won't miss my wedding day right Dad?" I asked him. "I promise" he lifted his hand and I smiled already knowing he'd be there. The wedding started but my dad was not there. I would walk down the aisle alone on my big day. I ran out and threw my bouquet down. I plopped down on the sidewalk and sobbed into my hands. "Now young lady why the long face?" my dad put his arm around my shoulders. I looked up and saw his warm smile, I put my arms around his neck and laughed a laugh of relief and gratefulness. "Now let's get you back out there." he helped me up and that day I walked down the aisle with my dad.

I stared down at the grave tears flooding my eyes. I wasn't able to breath that day, or make a sound. I stood there alone holding a bouquet of flowers, I placed them down. "You were always there. You always kept your promises. You never let me down. Thank you for that." I whispered to my dad. I saw his warm smile, "You won't forget me right?" he asked, "I promise." I lifted my hand and swore it.

"Mama you promise to catch me?" My daughter asked. "I promise." I lifted my hand. She rode in the light of day. So brave and happy. She trusted me, trust is the greatest thing I could ask for. It was the greatest thing my dad taught me. He showed me the kind of people you could trust. I trusted my dad. He was the one person I could trust no matter what, no matter how impossible it seemed to keep one promise after the other he did it. He kept them. I wouldn't fail my daughter. Ever. "MAMA I'M GONNA FALL!" my daughter screamed. I ran so fast. The strength given by my daughter's trust and my promise was unimaginable. I ran and caught her in my arms. "Thanks Mama." she shone her beautiful smile at me. My dad smiled his warm smile at me too. "Come on let's go in for some hot chocolate." I scooped her up and we went in. That night I slept and I saw a figure. "Kate" I heard the soft voice of my dad. "Daddy?" my voice shook as I drew nearer. "I'm proud of you baby." he came close and I saw his face. His beautiful face. Handsome and broad. His eyes creasing when he smiled his nose prickling up when he giggled. The exact face I remembered. It would never change. "Thank you Dad. Thank you for that." I awoke and smiled fondly. I went to my daughter's room to wake her. She was already up. "Morning sweetie." I gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Hi Mama!" she peeped up at me. She looked me directly in my eyes "Mama I want to tell you something." I am puzzled, "What is it honey?" she smiles, "You know yesterday? Thank you for keeping your promise. Thank you for that." she smiles broadly at me. I smile broader, my eyes sting with tears a little. "Your welcome. I will always keep my promises." I pulled her into a huge hug and squeezed her precious body. That precious body was buried months after. I was numb. I couldn't talk, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I went to her grave everyday with her favorite flowers. Roses. Then, I saw her. She glided toward me. "Don't cry Mama. Just remember me. I don't need your tears. I just need you." she smiled at me. I smiled right back. I didn't give her my tears. I gave her me. I thank her for that. Thank you for that.