The Party

Todd sat on the couch contemplating the downside of being a teenager. Eighteen was the worst, caught in limbo. No longer a child and not yet an adult, at least not in this province and not in this house either. He was looking forward to turning nineteen next year, but that seemed an eternity away. Although his childhood had been happy, he longed for the freedom that he believed adulthood would bring, and a release from all the rules he had to follow. 

His parents were laid back in many ways, but Todd’s teenaged brain would rather not have to follow their rules. And right at this moment, Todd’s brain was having a hard time making sense of his surroundings. He felt certain that something was wrong, but he could not pinpoint what it was. His parents were acting strangely, and they were not speaking to him. That had never happened before, no matter how upset or disappointed they were over something he had or had not done. 

Todd’s brother, Paul, sat next to him on the couch. The other people were either sitting across the room or standing around the table in the dining area or over by the china cabinets. 

The only one paying any attention to the two brothers was Stella, the cat. She was rubbing around their legs and looking up at them while purring softly. But, no matter, how much he called her and patted the seat next to him, Stella was not interested in jumping up. 

Stella was a gentle cat who preferred not to be picked up. As is the case with many felines, she liked to choose who to sit with or on, and where to go in the house. She could be friendly when she wanted, but she could also be very aloof. Out of all the family members she had chosen Todd as hers, but right now she was acknowledging his presence and not interested in more. 

Todd looked at Paul and then at the food on the table, and wordlessly nodded towards the food in a question to see if he wanted to get some.

Paul reached out and put his hand on Todd’s leg to stop him from getting up, and shook his head to say no. But there was something else to his demeanour, a silent sadness. 

Todd could not figure out what was going on. He himself was not hungry, even though some of his favourite finger foods were spread out invitingly on the dining room table. 

Todd noticed how the visitors were mostly dressed up, and then he looked down and realized that he was underdressed. He was wearing his typical daily attire, jeans, and a t-shirt, along with his favourite sweatshirt, which to his dismay he noticed had a tear down the side. 

Todd looked to see what Paul was wearing, but his brother was no longer there. Todd was sitting all alone on the end of the couch. He tried to think what he had done to upset his parents, but he could not retrieve any specific memories and decided he must be hungover. Perhaps that was it, a hangover; his parents would have been disappointed if he had failed to help prepare for this, whatever this gathering was. 

Todd stood up and went to mingle amongst the guests. Some were talking, some were laughing, and some were even crying. He was used to seeing all those behaviours when guests came to his parents’ parties.

Todd’s parents knew how to host a good party. There was always lots of guests, lots of food, and music which usually got louder as the evening progressed. Todd had discovered that these parties also often had lots of alcohol. He had not paid much attention to that when he was younger. But in more recent years, feeling bold in front of his friends, Todd had discovered that the adults really did not notice if they unwittingly “shared” their alcohol with the teenagers. 

Teenagers were prone to doing things that circumvented the rules, even the law sometimes. Everyone knew that and, by turning a blind eye to such happenings, the adults silently condoned these youthful misdeeds. 

Todd knew his parents did. Dad never questioned why his hard liquor needed to be replaced at a rate that did not make sense. Nor did he count the cans in the beer fridge down in the den. Therefore, Todd felt that his parents were okay with his occasional drinking.

Except it was not really occasional. It used to be. But in the last few months, it had become a more regular thing. On the weekends, the teenagers in this town usually hung out together in the fields of the big park behind the high school, or in each other’s basements during colder weather. Sometimes drinking, sometimes not. This was a small town, with a movie theatre and a bowling alley, but none of the amenities of the big city. Everybody knew everybody and, for the most part, was friends with everybody. 

Todd was surprised to see so many of his and Paul’s friends at his parents’ party. There were at least ten guys and seven girls, including his girlfriend, Julia. Walking over to them now, Todd could hear them talking quietly about Band class. They were all part of Band class at their high school and shared a love of music. 

“Hey, how about we go down to the shed and get into some music like we usually do,” he said to them, thinking he would also grab some of the beer cans. But nobody acknowledged his comment. After a second attempt, Todd fell silent and just hung out on the outskirts of the conversation. He joined in their laughter, but he wondered what he had done to annoy people. He was not used to being ignored like this. 

After a bit, Todd decided to look again for his brother, Paul. The two boys were so close in age that they could have passed as twins. And, like so many siblings, they had a love-hate relationship, filled equally with brotherly camaraderie and sibling rivalry.

Todd could not see his brother anywhere. Shit, he thought, did that jerk take my truck again?  He left the group to walk over to the window. Indeed, the spot where he usually parked his truck was empty. 

Just wait ‘til I see him, I’ll get him good this time, taking it again without asking. 

Todd had worked hard to buy that truck. He had worked after school, weekends, and summers for exactly forty-eight months to save up the money to get a vehicle. It was not the greatest vehicle, but he loved it, a compact blue truck perfect for getting around in this small but spread-out community. This was the third time in as many weeks that Paul had taken the truck, ever since he had turned seventeen and got his full licence.

Paul should get himself a job and get his own truck! Or at least ask!

Deciding to text Paul, Todd patted at his pockets for his phone. It was not in any of them. He cast his eyes around the room to see if it was still on the couch where he had been sitting or on any of the surfaces. No luck downstairs, so he decided to ascend to his bedroom.

As he went upstairs in his usual manner, two steps at a time, Stella came rushing past. She ran into his room before him and jumped on the bed, expectantly waiting for him to lie down next to her. This was her sleeping spot, on his bed, next to his pillow every single night, and had been for the last ten years. 

Todd looked around the bedroom but saw no signs of his phone. He was about to head back downstairs when Stella, looking at him intensely with her green eyes, let out a soulful meow, almost pleading him to join her. 

He walked to the bed and, passing by the window, saw that his friends were now heading down the backyard path to the shed. Although they called it the shed, it was more than a shed, more like a music studio where they kept his drums and his brother’s guitar as well as all the other instruments they had. 

Todd felt annoyed now. His friends had ignored his suggestion to go hang out in the shed, but now they were going there without him. Some friends! And, hardly believing his eyes, he looked again to see Julia hugging his best friend, John. What is that about? And in front of everyone!

Had Todd gone to the shed at that point and eavesdropped at the door, he would have heard how much his friends admired his musical talents and how much they treasured his friendship. Most of them had known Todd since kindergarten. He would have also seen that Julia and John’s hug was not motivated by romance. But Todd did not hear or see any of that. He looked away from the window and back to his bed, where Stella was lying, paws reaching out to him. 

In response to Stella’s plaintive meows, Todd petted her on the head. “Okay Stella, Bella,” Todd crooned softly, as he plopped down on his bed next to her, sinking into the pillows. Todd turned his head into Stella’s fur and breathed in her softness. 

He did not feel as angry as he had, but he did feel confused. Where is my phone? Where is Paul with my truck? Why are people ignoring me, especially my friends? Why is Julia hugging John? Why are so many of my friends here at my parents’ party? Why are my parents even having a party today? Where is the loud music? 

And, then there was perhaps the most important question that had escaped him up until that moment.

Why are there so many gaps in my memory?

Todd must have dozed off because when he next looked at the clock, the hands showed midnight. The house was silent. The guests must have gone, and his parents must be in bed. 

He skillfully extracted himself from the bed without disturbing Stella, a talent he had mastered years ago. Todd decided to go check on his brother, but Paul’s room was empty, his bed not slept in.

Going downstairs, Todd noticed that his parents had done a thorough clean up after the party, something that often did not happen until the day after.

The fridge was full of leftover food, but Todd still was not hungry even though he could not remember when last he had eaten. In fact, there was still so much he could not remember. 

Todd started to feel unsettled, as if he were a stranger in his own home, the house in which he had lived his whole life. Out in the hall, Todd could see the photos lining the walls of all his years in school, from kindergarten to grade 12, and the spot where his soon-to-be-taken graduation photo would be placed. This was his final year of high school.

Todd looked at each photo with renewed interest. And then he saw the shelf below the photos upon which sat his truck keys and his baseball hat, his brother’s hat and a recent photo of the two of them. 

Wow, Paul can’t even be bothered to put my keys back where they belong!

Wanting to check on his truck outside, Todd walked toward the front door. Just as he reached it, he glanced at the wall mirror on the left. To his surprise, there was no sign of him in the reflection, just the familiar landscape of the living room opposite. At the same time, instead of finding the doorknob, his hand went right through the door. And then, there he was, standing on the front step outside. But his truck was not there. 

A sound from the bushes to the right made him jump. And that was when he saw him, Paul, his brother. But he was not alone. 

Next to his brother was their grandfather, Grandpa George, who was more affectionately known as Gee-Gee, or at least he had been when the boys were little, and before he had died in 2015.

Todd wanted to yell at Paul about his truck, but his words were more a feeling than a thought and could not be formed out loud. Besides, Paul did not look very good at all. He was pale, with a tattered shirt, and dirty jeans. 

Without any words, and with Gee-Gee on one side and Paul on the other side, almost holding hands, the trio walked away from the house. The only witness to this was Stella, sitting on the window ledge in the spare room upstairs. She was staring intently as she watched her beloved Todd and his brother leave. 

Stella watched the trio walking up the hill, past the high school and past the auto wreckers' yard where remnants of a compact blue truck were tucked just out of sight. Her green eyes watched until the boy she loved, along with his companions, were at the top of the hill, where they turned left onto a narrow winding road that led to the local cemetery. 

As Todd walked, he was starting to understand, starting to remember, the horror dawning on him. 

A road too dark, a truck travelling too fast, a turn in the road, zipping through the air, flying glass, searing pain, floating above his body, his brother with him, a smashed truck, a broken phone, flashing lights, wailing sirens, a hospital bed, talk of his brother not making it, sobbing parents in his room, and then the silence of absolute nothingness. 

Where are we going? His mind reached out to his Gee-Gee and Paul. The answer came back softly but clearly. Home.