The UnForgivable

I never thought I would be standing on this doorstep. After the way I acted, I probably don't deserve to be here either, but...I can't say that I've changed without trying and asking for forgiveness.

I knocked on the door three times. A cold autumn breeze brushed through my dark-brown hair as I felt my heart sink into my stomach. This isn't the first home I've stopped at, but I get the feeling it will be the most difficult.

Foot stoep approached from the other side of the door. I've never met her parents, she hasn't moved out since high school so I doubt she lives alone. That makes this all the more nerve-racking, I'm sure she told them about me and what I did.

I felt my body try and pull me from the doorstep but I forced it to stay perfectly still. I needed to do this. I heard the door unlock and the door nob twisted, It creaked open revealing a tiny woman who peered around the door locking eyes with mine. I opened my mouth to speak but she beat me to it.

" ...David?"

That's bad news. She already knows my name and I've never even met her, so this must be her om then. She looks just like her, the light brown hair and the bright blue eyes full of life....though the life in those eyes drains as soon as she lockd eyes with mine.

" Is Angela here?" I asked in a defeated voice. I didn't know what else to say at this moment. My throat was tight and my stomach twisted and turned. Why is this making me so nervous? All the others have been quick and easy but this one is turning me inside out.

She looked at me and gave me a slight nod. She turned around and began to close the door before suddenly stopping and turning back to me. I shifted my gaze to a dying bush to my right just off the doorstep. Autumn was here that's for sure

" Do you want to come in?"

I looked at her confusedly. No one had asked me that, usually they would just come outside and I would talk to them there. After a moment of hesitation, I decided I would.

I entered through the door and followed her to a living room that spilled into the kitchen A fancy island table was in the middle of it with a marble top. I always knew they had money but I couldn't help but wonder how much exactly?

She motioned to a single comfy-looking chair where I took a seat. I ran my fingers along the arm wrest as I gulped clearing my throat. I saw the mother turn to supposedly get Angela but I felt I needed to say something to her first and foremost.

"I-I"m sorry if I caused you any sort of grief or-"

" Stop. Speak to Angela first...Then perhaps you'll get to speak to me."

She cut me off, but the tone of her voice wasn't exactly angry but more annoyed. She was controlling her emotions at least until I could speak to Angela. Makes sense.

I sat back in the chair but I couldn't relate, five minutes had passed and I hadn't seen a single person. The mother had walked down a hallway and I heard a door open followed by two female voices but since then silence. I interlocked my fingers and rocked back and forth tapping my foot nervously.

" David?"

I lifted my head to the sound of a smooth soft voice. Curly light brown hair swooped down her back, light blue eyes full of life, and a slim figure. She hadn't changed much since high school, but her hair was covering it.

Angela do you mind...uh sitting and allowing me to say a few things."

" Sure, but first let me say you seem very different from...back then. Change your hair or something?"

I looked up at her perplexed. Was she being serious or joking. I mean my hair had changed but...that's beside the point. She smirked down at me before taking a seat in a chair just in front of me separated by a small coffee table.

" Go on." She said softly

I struggled to find the words, and awkward silence hovered over the room for a moment as I gathered my thoughts.

" Uh...I'm sure you know better than anyone that I wasn't exactly a good person in school...so I've been going around town and apologizing to those I-"

' I didn't think you would be one to find god."

She cut me off, my mouth hung open still positioned in a way that was speaking. Was that a joke? I thought, or is she serious? A bright kind smile crossed her face as she brushed up her bangs on the right side of her face revealing it...the scar.

" As long as I have this, I won't be forgetting the kind of person you were David."

It had faded slightly bu it was still clearly there. It sat right above her right eye in a circle shape, I struggled to face it, my actions from that day were inexcusable but for the longest time I ran away from the blame.

" That wasn't the only scar either. You made highschool a living hell for me." Her voice became colder. " I struggle to get up in the morning because I didn't want to face you once more, but I did."

I wanted to look away, I felt sweat needing down my face and my throat tightened...I needed to apologize but, would that really be enough....What els good I do to make up for it? Could I make up for it.?

" I don't know what I did to deserve that from you and you're little group if I did anything. Or, more than likely I was just the easiest target do to me being the newsets student without any friends yet. I had no one to defend me I that why you did it!?"

She raised her voice at me, she was struggling too, looking back on a time I'm sure she wanted to forget, and I was here now forcing her to relive the memories.

I looked across at her, she had a look of sad anger. She didn't want to speak of this...I should get it over with, I jus need to apologie, she doesn't have to accept it but...who am I kidding! I'm to selfish, if she doesn't accept it I'll just live a life of self deprevation. Thats the hole point of me doing all this, I couldn't move on with my life with my past stain like this.

I looked down as if something had suddenly landed on my neck and I stared at the soft red carpet on the floor. I parted my lips and after giving my throat a moment to open I spoke.

" I-I'm sorry."

" Don't do that?"

At first I thought I miss heard her, but then I forced my self to look her in the eye and the kind gentle look had reappeared on her face...Then, she smiled.

" You don't need to apologize." Their was a slite hint of anger behind it, but it was being surpesse, she had forced her self to calm down?

" But!" I tired to debate but...

" I can't accept an appology from you, what you did isn't something I can simply forget, it will stick with me...but that David I lothed and hated, to the point I wished he died...He stayed back in highschool."

I looked at her confusedly, she then stood from her sea and walked into the kttchen leaning against the island in the center.

" Right now I'm staring at a stranger I just met...You don't need to say you're sorry. So why don't we start fresh like strangers would."

I was completely dumbfounded. Perhaps I was to stupid to understand what she was saying, al I knew was that I am completly confused right now?

Despite my confusion I stood however hesitently. An slowly walked over to the island where she had begun to pour drinks...It felt extremely awkward for me...but when I looked to her she was complealty calm...Was she genuanly acting like we never met?

I took a moment and thought about what see said and...I was capable of accepting it, actually it was probably the best case scenario.

There was now ay she could have forgien me for back then, but she is going me a chance to become new, to move forward. I felt a smile cross my face as she walked over lacing a glass in front of me.

Still...something felt wrong. That look her mom gave me, I doubt she could forgive me either.

" My mom, isn't going to be so forgiving.." Guess she can read minds then. " You don' have to worry though, she trsts me so she won't go out of her way to kill yo or something."

...I really hope she's joking. Shoud I be worried?