SOME KIND OF LETTER

Some kind of letter

Her next step is to figure out how to write a query letter.

And then write one. This is going to be not-simple. When she asked Jason for his help, he rolled his eyes and told her that she should just put it away. Maybe she should.

Does she throw it in?

Nope.

She’ll figure something out. Right now though, she is going to sit here and drink coffee until Jason gets up. He goes to work soon. He’s gonna be upset that she is still not sleeping.

She tried.

When she re-filled her pill cases, she stuck a melatonin in the PM side with hopes that it would keep her down. Lol. It didn’t. She woke up cold. Thinking…

It’s 12:15AM.

Still thinking…

The kids came for dinner last night. We had spaghetti from the crock pot. We all sat around the table and talked about things while James ate in front of Young Sheldon. Such a dumb show. There is no point in trying to re-create Sheldon’s character.

It cannot be done.

For you are one-of-a-kind Mr. Cooper.

I think I may try taking two, melatonin’s at night. One gets me tired enough to put my head down. But it only stays down for four or so hours. Two just might help her to get six hours, maybe.

Or it could euthanize her also.

She’d rather not.

Jason will be getting up soon so I might as well stay up. Which won’t be a problem. Today is Thursday. I haven’t talked about exercising lately. That’s because I haven’t exercised lately. I need to go back. I need to swim. Lol. Swim. Weird.

As each day passes I get less and less sore. So the longer I take to go back, the sorer I will be when I do go back.

A good feeling?

Maybe.

It’s a positive move-forward, kind of feeling.

A free fallin’, kind of feeling.

He doesn’t miss her. He’s not cool, for breaking her heart. I don’t get it.

He wrote her name in the sky.

What does he want??

Whatever.

Hello.

1:45AM

Thunderstorms just blew through. The flowers needed it.

It’s hot.

We bought new filters and turned on the air conditioner for the first time this season. I bet Logan is hot. Time to turn on the fan. Blow it through. Open a door. While we were at Menard’s we also picked up some dirt to put under the half, of a pine tree. Now that half of it is gone, maybe the grass around it won’t dry out so bad.

Cathy with a K came out when me and Jason were in the yard. I wish she would just go away.

I was bending down with the hand rake and when I looked up Cathy was right there. Standing with the bird bath stand that I gave her a while back. It just wasn’t feasible with Diamond. Anyway, she spray painted it. A black rod-iron bird bath stand now silver, and black. Yep. Half of it. Not the whole thing. Half.

Nothing a can of black paint won’t fix.

Anyway this thing has been sitting on their half of the square. It is now sitting at the end of her porch holding a lemongrass pot full of lemony blades.

Speaking of…

She just killed a mosquito that was sitting upon her computer screen.

Yep.

She opened the door.

She was hot and wanted fresh air.

Jason just left for work about thirty minutes ago. It’s, dark out. Storms rolled through sometime during the night. She tried to stay awake for it, but nope. She slept right through it. She forgot to take her PM meds until now. She was leery about taking them because it now holds a, melatonin. So she took it.

She slept a whole three hours. A nap may be in store for her.

Probably not.

When Jason gets home I want some help in the garden. I need him to cut down the lilac bushes. It’s too much. Bushes that turn into big fucked up, bushes. That grow like crazy. Not this year. She let them get a few feet for them to bloom

Chop.

Down they go.

Sam from next door in Tecumseh would appreciate that.

Lol.

We tried…

Another clear blue warm day. Storms to roll in after dark. But before it gets dark, it will be a beauty of a day. We played on the yard today.

I mean yesterday.

1:18 AM on Saturday. May 17th.

(Aaron’s birthday).

I will call him.

And then I’m done.

8:45 AM.

I’d say six, six and half hour of sleep. At least.

Good, and great.

She has a busy day today. She is going maternity shopping with Justine in Ann Arbor. We think Target is gonna be the place to go to for maternity clothes. Target is a fun store to go in to. They have some pretty decent stuff at a pretty decent price.

For herself, she wants to also get a new pair of light sweats and a light sweatshirt. She wants something comfy to wear to the gym that she could just wear over her bathing suit, so she doesn’t have to change, twice. She is thinking about only using the pool tomorrow.

No weights.

Just swimming.

They haven’t been in a week. Her body really needs to go back. Swimming is so much less stressful on her legs and hips. Better for her all around.

Plus, I think it is real good for the neck too.

My…have the tides have turned. She needs to keep it up.

The sauna is still closed though. Which completely and totally, sucks. It’s freezing cold when she steps out of the pool. She is ready to swim though. It’s really good exercise. Especially on her neck. She remembers people telling her that swimming would be the best exercise for her to do...

Amy just balked at the idea. Swimming would have meant that she needs to use her arm.

But since the surgery, she is more, sure that she won’t sink to the bottom.

Slop.

Sloppy…

Joes.

Yes Adam Sandler, they’re having sloppy Joe’s tonight.

She can never think of sloppy Joe’s without hearing the song. They are the only words that she knows. We rarely have them. Sounds good for after the pool.

It’s not supposed to warm at all today.

Boo-hoo…

She is ready to stay indoors. Slop, sloppy Joe’s.

***ALERT ALERT***

Change of plans.

She went and walked. She did 2.6 miles in under thirty-five, or so minutes.

Yep.

Jason was bothering her so bad the only thing to keep her mind straight was a good walk.

And that it was.

She also noticed some Yoga on the schedule.

Flow…

It’s when she got home, is when it changed.

Justine called and asked us over there, for dinner.

Simple.

So we did.

Logan drove separate with Diamond and then Amy and Jason tagged along.

It was a fun evening. Jason spent most of his time playing soccer with James and Amy watched Jason play soccer with James. Jason, he’s good with kids. Their parents too.

He can be normal. Amy not so much. It can be overwhelming for her. She’s done with company for a while. She’s tired tonight. Glad today is done. I need to sleep tonight.

I’m staying up as late as possible.

I need to sleep.

Lol.

5:27AM.

She woke up once, came out to her desk, sat for a quick minute and went back to bed until now.

She slept some good time last night. She was asleep when Jason kissed her goodbye. She remembers rolling over. That’s it. She slept until now. She woke up rested and said good bye to Logan.

Besides Diamond and Nala she is alone.

Yay-hoo!

Today is going to be the warmest all week.

Sixty-five. Not. That. Warm. Seventies, next week. It is going to be cold and rainy tomorrow and Wednesday. Possibly Thursday. A week not, to play outside.

It’s more like a week to go to the Y. She noticed when she went Sunday that the yoga teacher is back teaching on Saturday’s. There is also a new Pilates class on Friday’s.

Hmmm…

Maybe.

I think it is an eight o’clock class. A little early. It would be good for her though. You know. Drive the car, and all. Try to get back into the habit. Make Friday and Amy day for her to do her stuff. Stuff as in, the library. She wants to go back. I’m sure once she gets there she’ll want to leave though. Her typical mind frame. It’s time to light some candles. She can hear the bird’s…

I don’t know what today holds.

She will be checking the mailbox for Reedsy, all day. They accepted her story and now she just waits. She has one like so far. On each of her stories that she has submitted have a slight theme of the judge’s. They all have a different name. She can tell which of the judges likes her writings. A lady from New Zealand. A writer of whom now lives in Virginia. (Amy Googled her.)

No…

She’s not stalking her. She wants to know who’s, watching her.

As for when Jason gets home we may go exercise. She was all up for it earlier. Her bag packed with a clean suit and a fresh towel.

Yep.

Into the pool, she wants to go.

But…

But she wants to do it different.

She wants to swim before, her walk and/or weights.

Fyi…

She needs to start rinsing her hair. Before swimming. She can’t forget. Water repels chlorine. The chlorine fries, her hair. Sizzle-sizzle.

Rinse your hair first Amy…

Jason is home.

It’s cold.

I’m so sick of the cold. Mind you it’s a high today of sixty-five in four hours. The sky is full of clouds. Not one ray of sun to keep the chill off. So…

So the thought of showering then getting in the swimming pool doesn’t sound very inviting. He would rather not.

And he didn’t have to twist her arm, either. There is stuff to do around the trailer a bit today.

It’s always fucking cold in here. Even in the Summertime.

The air blows her straight, outside.

Either, or.

Jason says that we need to get the air conditioning re-charged this year.

Money, money, money.

I think we should get it done next month.

But…

Money, money, money.

Gotta have it.

She is going to go down early tonight. Don’t know how, early. No staying up, past 10pm.

Nope.

FYI…

It’s barely 7:30 pm.

Lol.

She keeps falling asleep at her desk.

Yeah.

She won’t nap today. She will take a melatonin in hopes of a good nights. A good night means more than 6 hours. We will see.

LMAO.

She went to bed around nine thirty. Good for her. She forgot her PM medicine, which includes her melatonin. Not good. She only slept until twelve. But she was up until six. Ugh. Back down until ten.

Now she’s here, working on her letters.

BTW.

Amy walked just over two miles, in under forty minutes while Jason played basketball when they went to the Y earlier today. It was a nice break-up for a Sunday. She needs to get out of the house for a bit during the day. She would have rather played outside but it was too wet and cold. It will be like that all week. Rain, rain, rain. But next weekend…

The eighties. Woo-hoo!

Low eighties.

But still.

Eight-zero. And we are three quarters through May.

It’s about the fuck-time.

4:48AM

She was awake three hours ago.

Today is Wednesday. Jason’s Friday. He took a few days off around the holiday. Memorial Day weekend is this weekend. One, two…five. Five days off. Great time to go somewhere. But.

But she needs to find something to do at home because it’s not such a great time financially, to go somewhere. Omg. She could try to start watching the TV again. There has got to be something good on the TV.

Something…

It’s 11:02 AM.

She slept another good four hours. She got into bed after Logan left for work. It was a good sleep. She even dreamt of things she is trying to forget. Dan. Tammy. Susan. It’s just an ad…

Oh yah. This too. Lol. “It’s a sports update”

Liar.

She is surviving. But it does go away.

Example…

Jason will be home soon to start a super-log weekend.

Four days.

Fuck.

It’s, five days.

Lol.

I was wrong…

Imagine that.

U.K

Nope.

Thursday.

The beginning of the long weekend. Jason took an extra two days off, so it makes for an extra, long weekend. It’s rainy. It’s cold. It’s fucking May.

And Nala is meowing at the door.

Up and down, and in and out.

Ugh.

I miss the television. I don’t do anything, but peek in on it. I don’t know what I would want to watch anyways. I don’t want my soap anymore. I could. I just don’t. It is so far-fetched. It would be simple. A few episodes and I can get all I need to know.

This world needs to make something good for us to see.

It still creeps up on her. Drives her crazy. It used to be whenever he was around her. Now it shows itself when she’s alone. She wishes it would just finally go away. I think this happens just to remind her that karma does exist. She recognizes it now. She sees it coming.

Yep.

She gets a head’s up.

I had a conversation with Aaron today. It was good. It lasted about an hour. We were catching up and Amy realized again, how different they are. How different, everyone is. They are go-getter’s. There is no other way she knows how to say it. Go-go-go. Not I, said the little red hen. I couldn’t do it if I wanted to. It’s not that I don’t want to. It would be nice. For a minute. And then I’d want to be home again.

Example…

Jason and Amy went out to Adrian today to go to Walmart. What they went for she doesn’t remember. Oh. Lol.

Chocolate and coffee. Staples.

3:33AM.

Today is a day go to the Y. There’s some classes that Amy wants to try starting at 8AM. One is a senior fitness class. What is this going to be like? What age is considered a senior? I don’t think it matters.

We’ll see.

7AM.

She’s dressed and ready to go. She is also tired. She’s been up for hours. Jason just came out.

Grumpy.

A typical way to start the day. Needless to say, but I will say it anyway, we didn’t go the exercise classes like Amy wanted to. They went late. By the time they got there the class had already began.

Lucky us.

We got to look in on it first.

Lol.

No offense.

But when they talk about a senior fitness class they’re not talking the “young” senior. There was about fifteen geriatric type adults sitting in chairs and lifting, I don’t know what they were I couldn’t see that far, but it looked like they were curling cans of fruit cocktail. Not for Amy.

Lol.

Or Jason.

That was enough to lighten up the mood because before we left this morning, another argument ensued. Jason didn’t want to go early, for some reason or another. Amy was pissed. She had been up all night. Still is. She wasn’t in the mood. But she’s better now. Probably because she ended up walking for forty-five minutes doing a, glute workout. Uphill both ways. It pumped her heart. As it settled her head.

Almost an hour.

She could have gone longer, but she will plan to do that the next time she goes. She may walk for an hour. She can maybe get in three miles, or more. Possibly. Could be. Maybe.

I weighed myself today.

126.

Fuck you Joe Mailloux.

And anyone else, who had a comment.

You know who you are.

At nine pm is when I am going to take my night time medicine. That included my melatonin. I want to go swimming early tomorrow, so I need a decent couple of hours of sleep. If that is possible. Who knows.

Hypa-Hypa…

ALL NIGHT LONG!

It’s 9:43PM.

Both boys are in bed. Amy is at her desk and Diamond is on the floor next to her.

And the cats in the cradle.

Amy was looking at the pool schedule for the adult swim, swim schedule.

7:30AM.

She doesn’t particularly want to go. It’s much better at home. Closer to the TV…

The happier everybody will be.

Hey-hey.

BTW…

She almost slept a good six hours. She is still slightly tired. She’ll feel better as the day goes on though. She can her the birds. And the ice maker. Time to go back to sleep. But first…

Her next step is to figure out how to write a query letter.

To be continued…