The Crushes of High School

The crushes of high school

In high school I had three crushes (Lori, Carol, and Diane). All were very beautiful at the time, and I was going through some medical issues. I never told any of them how I really felt about them. It was one of those awkward times for me. To quote Janis Ian, "It was long ago and far away, the world was much younger than today.".

Two of the crushes I had, a class with Carol and Diane. I spent most of the time in the class trying to sneak a peek at them without staring. In the class the teacher. Mr. Seidel, for Christmas he had us do a gift exchange and I got Diane's name. I ended up getting her blush. As a card I wrote this will make you blush. Someone from behind me said it’s working. She seemed to enjoy it. Between the two Carol was my real infatuation. She had piercing eyes that I would have traded anything for (I have 20/25 vision and Carol wore glasses). They seemed to have brightened my day just by being in class with them and they sort of gave me the “deer-in-the-headlights” reaction. They were book end eye candy for me. One time in class I asked Mr. Seidel if he had any relatives in Maryland. He said no, but Carol said she knew the person I was talking about. After telling her what I knew about the person, I froze and couldn't follow that up with something interesting to talk to Carol about. It was just more "lost teenage opportunity", a lacking in social interaction. I was imprisoned by fear of saying something stupid to someone who meant something to me. Carol was in the ski club, another day in class she was talking to someone behind me about a girl I knew Dara. She told that person, that whenever Dara got off the ski lifts, she would stretch her arms out and almost hit Carol with her ski poles. I knew the person Carol was talking about but didn’t say anything. Diane had the "derriere extraordinaire" when she walked a certain way (Like Marlyn Monroe in Niagara) you couldn't help but catch a glimmer (I can give props when they're due). She also had a smile that was captivating, a million-dollar smile. One day Diane walked by and Mr. Seidel caught me staring. I don’t know what happened to Diane. I hope she is doing well. In my junior year Diane was walking by, and a teacher saw me staring at her. The teacher, Mr. Swomley, asked me if I thought Diane, was a goody-goody. I said no, I think she is very cute with a nice butt. Then Mr. Swomley yells out, this boy likes you. I couldn’t believe he did that. I felt embarrassed. Then he asked me if he wanted to introduce me to her, but I said no. I was more nervous around Diane than Carol. I managed to do very well in class even with "The distractions". Years later I wonder what Carol and Diane look like. I'm sure they are both as beautiful as they were back then. I hope they are doing well. I recently found Carol on Linkin. I had put my essays on there and Carol had read them. She sent me a connection invitation, so I responded yes. I was curious if she liked the essay and if I had asked her out in high school would she have gone out with me. I was also curious as to what she currently looked like. I never got the chance when I responded to it, an error message occurred. She had either blocked me or closed the account. Anyway, I’m sure she’s just as beautiful now as when I knew her. Funny thing is, not only would I have traded her for her eyes, but also for any parts she didn’t like (I only wanted to see her happy.

The third crush in my graduating class, Lori, was kind of short, but very pretty (I would've done anything for her, within reason). I never had a class with her, but I would see her around school from time to time. There was never the "right" moment to go up to her and introduce myself. Lori was always hanging out with another girl Terri. Terri and I were in a French class in junior high. Terri ignored me then. In high school Terri and Lori would do their version of Dionne Warwick, oh it's just Josh “walk on by”. Lori and Terri probably had sleep overs where they would stick pins in little Josh dolls. She probably wrote about it in her journal and stuck it under her pillow. You could hear them laughing every time I was around. I never knew what Lori’s interests were in High School. I'll own the fact I had feelings for Lori. I found Lori years later a webpage. She responded to a post I made, one time. All I was trying to find out was, if I had asked her out in high school, would she have gone out with me. I was also curious if she knew just how pretty she was back then. I never got the chance to ask her. I hope she is doing well health wise (I still care for her) and in general doing well. It would bother me if she wasn’t doing great. I'm sure she is just as beautiful today as when I remembered her.

So how do you get the attention of someone your crazy about. I never did, but I always wonder how they all look today. A vision of a possibility was all they gave for free to a shy guy like me. Most people think of a beautiful place, they made high school a beautiful place for me. For that I thank all of them. Sometimes the little things can mean a lot to someone.