A Memory Revisited

The warmth of the flames licked at the bottom of Ernie’s propped-up feet.  Snow continued to fall outside as it had done all day. Ernie’s recliner was positioned next to the window so he could look out, always entranced by snow falling in the nighttime. Nearly imperceptible, so much beauty radiated in what could be perceived. The shadows of each snowflake created a mystical scene, lulling his mind into times of the past. Times that like the flickering, rolling flames of his fireplace spread and enveloped him in comfort and warmth. 

He sipped his chamomile and vanilla tea laced with honey, warming his chest and sending him to the brink of slumber. He rubbed at his eyes, encouraging them to stay open for a bit longer. His arms stretched over his head, and he let out a long yawn. Years of life, memories made and details forgotten, wore on his aging body. Like many nights before, he thought he was unlikely to make it to his bedroom upstairs.

Staring out the window his mind began to drift once more. A memory nearly sixty-five years ago rooted itself in his mind, swelling with intensity as it so often did. 

He was 24. Youthful radiance had not yet been overtaken. In fact, on that day life would begin for him. His hand rapidly scribbled away on the pages of his leatherbound journal, creating worlds that could not exist. When an idea came to him it was near impossible to pull him from whatever fictitious terrene grasped his imagination, whether he was feeling the coolness of a springtime walk or the rush of joy racing down a highway, top down, and hair flowing in the wind. But that day he was ripped away from the developing world, its characters floating in the air like half-finished portraits. Only one force was ever capable of pulling him back like that. Her name was Ella.

“What’s wrong, Ernie?”

He startled back to reality. The snowfall slowed but the wind had picked up, creating an illusion of continued intensity. Blown snowflakes streaked against the window, mirroring the tears running down his cheek. He hadn’t noticed he’d begun to cry. 

“I was just thinking about Ella,” he responded.

“What about her?” Eden asked.

“The first time we met.”

“Would you like to tell me about it?” 

“Eden, you’ve heard the story a million times. I just got caught up in the emotion of it all. I’m fine, really.”

“I like the story. It’s a beautiful story. I know how much you enjoy telling it.”

Ernie sighed. She was right. It was his favorite story. The snowfall had been heavy this winter, and his mind drifted with it. The cabin was silent, disturbed only by the crackling logs, and its creaking exterior. It made for the perfect environment to zone out, imagine, and create. However, Ernie found these days there was only one world he was able to venture into: the past. He had been gifted with a creative mind, capable of envisioning fictitious minutiae with ease, but his leatherbound journal remained closed. The entirety of his magic was spent on bringing his wife back to life every night.

“I was sitting there with my coffee, absorbed in my own world…"

He remembered the intensity with which he was brought back to reality. A mindless drifter who wandered onto the tracks, slammed into, and flung away back to the real world. Everything changed for him in a moment. Life radiated from her smile, and the sound of her laugh caressed him into vulnerability.  

His legs shook as he tried to stand. He tried to convince himself that it was simply the caffeine, but the nervous truth cracked his confidence. Approaching her table his heart had never raced so fast in his life. His skin felt as on fire as her radiant red hair. He stood there thinking of the word to get her attention, but all the blood had raced to his heart. Diverting her attention from her friend, their eyes connected for the first time. Her mouth opened, but his world was quiet as if someone had paused it so that he could savor the moment. 

Her touch snatched him back to reality, as it so often would. She was gently tapping his arm. 

“Excuse me, can we help you?

Her friend snickered, but he barely noticed. She faced him with absolute sincerity as though she were extending her hand to pull back the helpless drifter on the tracks.  

“Well, I was just sitting over there and I was drinking my coffee and writing this story and … and I’d never have forgiven myself if I didn’t ask you out on a date.”

The blood that had raced to his heart suddenly rushed to his head, and time seemed to speed up with it. In mere seconds, thousands of reactions played out in his head, a byproduct of the chemical overload his brain was experiencing. 

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Ernie!”, he blurted out. 

She chuckled.  “Nice to meet you, Ernie. I’m Ella. This is Adeline.” She motioned to the woman she was sitting with, the details of whom had always been blurry to him.

“Pleasure to meet you both.” He turned his attention back to Ella. “We could meet here, say tomorrow at six?” He delivered the question as a plea. 

“Tomorrow at six it is.”  

He smiled and nodded, rocking back and forth on his toes, overwhelmed with anticipation. His world became a paradox, both speeding up and slowing down simultaneously. Fragmented characters suddenly appeared whole to him, his mind flooded with inspiration. It was not only ever Ella’s power to pull him back to reality but to push him away from it, providing the polish to bring an unrefined canvas to life.

“…and it was on that day that I created the world of my first big-time novel.”

The fire had died down, but the memory warmed his entire being. For the first time that day, no snow fell from the skies. His mind freed from the anchor, he began to shift in his seat, willing himself to bed. 

“It’s a beautiful story, Ernie. I know how much you miss her,” Eden said warmly. 

“I’m grateful there’s a lifetime to be missed. Thanks for listening. I do enjoy retelling that memory.”

“I’m always here to listen.”

Ernie stood up, walked over to Eden, and picked her up. He plugged his AI-powered companion in to recharge and walked up the stairs to bed, his everlasting friend joining him.