Jazzy Bones

Jazzy Bones

In New Orleans on business, so called. An educational trip organised by HAL Ltd the vendors of a computer system costing just over a million. We had been flown in from the. UK in an executive jet to inspect the practical application of HAL computers. The task delegated to us was to evaluate HAL's offering against the competition. The Priest Shipbuilding Limited board were seeking a report giving our findings and recommendations. While this was not a jolly and we were learning it was nevertheless, also not so subtle bribery. HAL was determined to give our evaluation team a good time. 

The Teesdale Company was the second USA naval ship construction company that we were being escorted to. The first had been the famous New Harbour yard. Teesdale management was enthusiastic about the new computer system that it had commissioned just over a year ago. Their management board was keen to demonstrate the many advantages of their acquisition. They also wished to show that their implementation was ahead of that at New Harbour. Max, the newly promoted project control manager demonstrated, on one of the many new linked terminals, how his networked project management control system functioned. For the first time they were able to oversee and control both construction progress and costs in real time. All who had the need could observe the current status and could see when and where bottle necks and other problems developed. They could then take early take corrective action. The system enabled 'Just in time' working and resulted in significant savings in inventory. 

The three-dimensional graphics design package included in the contract was far more effective than the traditional drawing board method in highlighting the interaction in space between the numerous elements that comprise a warship's hull. These comprise complex systems including, propulsion power, defensive and offensive radar and the weapons of such a vessel. Such visualisation is particularly challenging in nuclear submarine design and construction. There are very few straight lines or right-angles in such a structure. Systems must follow the curvature of the hull. The retraining costs of draftsmen were included in the contract. 

The design package was integrated with and provided digital instructions for the numerically controlled cutting of the iron plates that formed the hull, the accurate bending of pipework and the routing of electrical power and signalling control lines. 

Teesdale was convinced it had made a good investment and were as enthusiastic as our HAL guide and salesman in encouraging us to follow their lead. 

Then came the evening of our last day. My two companions were enthusiastically anticipating the promise of a smart show and dinner, but I opted out. It was impossible to persuade me to join them. This was a unique opportunity to experience the city's jazz quarter. I had all the records at home. I subscribed to both Down Beat and Jazz Journal. Chance had brought me here. Here was an opportunity I couldn't miss. I knew where to go and hailed a taxi to take me to Frenchman Street that my reading had informed me was the centre of action. The driver got a bigger tip than he expected. I had been warned they got angry if this was not right. In return he warned his 'young Brit' customer to watch out. The jazz might be good he said but there were sketchy guys around looking for victims. Not the best part of town to walk around solo, he said. But what could I do? 

I was here now and committed. The streetlights were dim. Most of the shine on the sidewalks came from the windows and doors of the jazz venues, accompanied by the music itself that became louder in chunks as doors opened and customers slithered in or out. The crowding gave me comfort. I found it protective. Nothing would happen. I moved as in a river, from one smoky dive to the next, sampling the music. No entry charges but drinks and drags to buy. Dive number three was again a small packed, dark room. Sweet smelling smoke hung from the ceiling. Band and audience were cramped close, the stage hardly a foot high. Initially I stood squashed with others at the door, but as customers left, we shuffled forward. A seat came vacant in the front row. I moved quickly to grab it. 

I was being good and stuck to Budweiser. No drugs for me, but by this third dive even the Budweiser was having an effect. The guy to my right was curious and wanted to know how this Englishman came to be in New Orleans. I explained as best I could, in as few words as I could. I wanted Jazz not chatter. My neighbour extracted two crumpled self-rolled drags from his top pocket, lit both with one match, took a deep drag and offered me one. I refused. He insisted and I relented reasoning that one would do no harm and would add to the experience. We became mates for the session and shared the costs of his next chosen drinks. They were not Budweiser.

We were close, close, close to the band. We were almost in it. I placed one foot on the stage and tapped to the rhythm. This was the best. The lead sounded much like Lois Armstrong and the female was an Ella Fitzgerald lookalike in both shape and gritty voice. I was as in a dream. I could have touched her bare feet. Her silver high heeled pumps lay discarded and toppled under the piano. She sang as she played. Noticing me, we came eye to eye. She crouched right down, a hand on my foot and sang to me, direct to me! She straightened, whipped a mouthorgan from the piano top then bent again saying, 'Here young’un, play.' 

I could see down her decollte but instead of inviting flesh I saw bone! Gaps between teeth formed the blowholes of the mouthorgan she had given me and, as I grasped it to play, I knew my hands and face also had no skin. It was bone to bone! Looking past Ella was a detail that unbelievably had not registered before. All the players were bone, were skeletons. Their clothing swung, in time with the drums, loosely around them. I had another drink and a drag. I got applause for my solo mouthorgan riffs, bowed and played on, rocking to the rhythm, and was dreamily happy.

Next morning my companions said a taxi had brought me to the hotel and that they had put me to bed talking nonsense about skeletons and fantastic jazz.