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Fiction

Down through the many depths of torment, and despair. The fallen king sits upon his frozen throne. Something special has come up, and his typical amusement of torture is interrupted. 

PEON! What is this ruckus, why must I be bothered.

Forgive me, my dark lord, this is the one who, well who is not understanding.

UNDERSTANDING! HA! You little drudge, this is not a place of understanding, I should have your whole lot thrown into the frozen lake.

The servant of darkness was confused by this. Was he being serious, this was not usual. He needed to change his demeanor.

This wretch is a cancer is my dominion, he infects the minds. The tormentors get no joy from the beatings. All he does is make a sound that deafens those close to him. He needs further judgement which only you have authority.

Careful, WRETCH. That soul deserves no title like that. And you better not be wasting my time. 

Closing his eyes and summoning the damned soul. He knew this had never happened before, and had contemplated how he would handle such an ordeal. Suddenly his thoughts were clouded, laughter filled his great hall. Bound, and knelt on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. The dark king understood.

Raising him up and forcing his gaze upon him, the king read him like a book. Then casting him down. 

You mite be the first mortal I have ever spoken too. 

Slowing down his laughter, wiping his face and standing up. Then you are a fool, he says

Suddenly being stuck down.

ONE DOES NOT STAND AND ADDRESS HIS DARKNESS! With such impunity, this one screams for the lake!

The lake was the frozen moat surrounding the dark palace. Filled with those in various depths, unable to move or escape the icy burn of the lake or the blistering winds which danced upon it. Within the many levels of hell, this was the evil epicenter.

Turning around, and looking out a great window at his lake of punishment. So it does have some reason left. He says openly. You have been here for some time. And were not always an inconvenience. What changed?

I wanted to meet you, smirking and holding back laughter

Hes lying to me the devil thought, when in the blink of an eye he himself crossed the room and struck down the damned soul who was before him. Now laying upon the ground. He knew what kind of soul he was, though he could not read his thoughts. He knew no matter where he sent this one, it would not matter. He had been laughing for two thousand years in earth time. Although time hardly existed in this place. It was accelerated elsewhere. Only the dark king new of these elsewheres. He was the only one is this place who knew many things and of other places. 

Turning around and slowing stepping away, he heard the lost soul say, send me back

Kneeling and facing the ground, you do not know what to do with me, my mere presence seems to irritate you. Send me back!

EVERY ONES PRESENCE IRRITATES ME! Picking up his pace as he walked towards this throne to sit.

Cast him to the very bottom of the lake, as so I may try my best to forget. 

Wait, whispered softly

Oh wait, it has some words. Sadly no one cares. 

You don't want to know what kept me laughing?

Leaning back in his throne. No, I have been wanting this interaction to be over since it started. However for posterity sake I will ask.

At first it was because I finally saw someone here, but I quickly noticed that it changed things. It sucked the evil life out of everything around me. This is why your tormentors could not handle it anymore. If you really want to see what I can do at the center of your dark metropolis, so be it.

Glaring, sitting forward, and making direct eye contact.

You will not recognize the world I am sending you back to. Do not think your punishment has ended. You will have many gifts, but a hunger that you must contain. There is no escaping it, ignore it and it will take control. I cannot have you here, but i must deal with you. The best part is, you wont remember any of this. 

A quiet moment over takes the hall after the once fallen soul had vanished. The lowly peon looks at his master.

Dark sire, I cannot believe you did that. 

Mortals could be more useful than I once thought. I may deal with them more. Not like this. However I can foresee, these mortals may be of great benefit to me. Do my bidding for me. While I am trapped here, my influence is vast. At first I saw these mortals as mere beasts, perhaps I should pay more attention to what is going on. Like a drug torturing them is to me. With a whisper, a slight nudge in the wrong directions could get us so many more souls. They do not last here, but perhaps if I can convince them to give me there souls. Then they mite be mine forever.

Sometime after, a lowly naked figure emerges from the base of a great mountain. Delirious, and partially blind. He had no idea what was happening. No memory of where he had been or the events that had taken place. Wandering trying to feel his way, but the earth around the mountain was barren. A great thick forest lay ahead. He was driven by a single urge. He needed to eat, to feast. As he continue walking and stumbling, his senses began to heighten. He could smell so much, hearing everything. He was compelled to head in the direction of a small village. Upon seeing it, he could not contain himself. Eyes focused with a hate he did not know what for, and a hunger in his stomach for blood, so much blood.

September 15, 2023 12:40

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2 comments

Kevin Logue
07:01 Sep 21, 2023

Hi Devin, I was sent your story as part of the critique circle...so here I am 🙂 Your plot of the devil finding a use for the souls he tortures, sending them back to earth as demons/monsters is a good idea. However I had some trouble following what was happening, this was mainly due to the lack of inverted commas to denote what was dialogue, and dialogue tags to indicate who was actually talking. There are also several open sentences that seem abrupt such as>> Now laying upon the ground. Several spelling mistakes, such as new instead of ...

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Devin Andrews
19:27 Sep 23, 2023

Thank you for your comments! I have been writing a while, but just getting my feet wet with sharing my stuff. I appreciate you reading my story and the advice. I guess spell check cant do it all. Good luck as well!

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