Every Little Thing

The sharp scent of laundry detergent permeated the dingy room as Ali carefully measured her horded stash. ‘Almost out’ she thought with a brief sigh. She dumped it into the appropriate compartment and pushed it shut with her hip. The cycles emblazoned in her brain, she mechanically pushed the buttons, added the required coins and pushed start. The familiar sounds of the pumps and the water soothed her mind, and she pulled herself onto the counter to wait.  

 The annoying tones of ‘I’m a Barbie girl’ shrilled and she rolled her eyes before pulling out her phone. “Yes Celeste, I’m at home.”  

 “Hey Ali, I need a favor.” Celeste’s voice was grating at the best of times, and Ali was already at her limit for the day. 

 “Sorry, I’m off this weekend. If that’s a problem you can take it up with the boss lady.” she was mentally fist bumping herself for having talked to Anna earlier about taking some time off. After she had overheard an argument between the two of them, she knew that Celeste would absolutely not want to talk to Anna about anything. Forewarned was forearmed in her humble opinion. 

 Celeste sighed huffily, “Fine, I’ll ask Liz.”  

 Ali couldn’t help herself, “Oh, Liz is out of town for a couple weeks. I think her sisters getting married or something.” She almost burst out laughing at the curse that followed, but Ali also prided herself on her excellent self-control. Celeste took advantage of them way too often. 

 When her coworker finally hung up, Ali switched apps to her e-reader and buried herself in the world of the supernatural. Books were her weakness, especially Sci-Fi. She started when the timer on her machine dinged and groaned. She needed to find herself a werewolf or a vampire to love.  

 She pocketed her phone and slid of the counter. Time waited for no man, or woman, if you were being technical. She piled the damp laundry into the nearest cart and deftly sorted it. Delicates weren’t ever meant to feel the heat of a dryer, she had learned that the hard way after she had ruined a brand-new and very expensive set. She tossed the rest of it in the dryer and restarted the washer with a load of towels. They were all-white, something her mother would have frowned on, but Ali loved wrapping herself in the pure fluffiness when she stepped out of the shower. She added a capful of bleach along with the Dawn and with a nostalgic sigh, returned to her imaginary world among the pines of Tennessee.  

 The hour passed quickly and she was again dragged back to the reality of the laundromat. She took the load from the dryer, switched over the one from the washing machine, and added her last load to wash.   

Folding was her favorite part of doing laundry. The smell and feel of clean clothes never failed to take her back to her youth. For some odd reason her dad had loved folding laundry and Ali had spent many an hour with him, sometimes just wrapped in a warm towel and watching his deft hands work. She shook her head to clear the tears. Losing him would never become easier. Over the last year she had learned to cope with not having him around, but the agony of the loss she had never gotten over.  

She pulled her favorite shirt out of the pile. It had belonged to her dad, had been his favorite shirt. He had gotten it after he’d run a 5k marathon while he was recovering from chemo. He’d only been 25. He beat it the first time around, but his body hadn’t been able to handle the second attack. It had been brutal. And a part of Ali had died alongside him in that hospital bed. Watching him waste away day after day had broken her in ways she’d never recovered from. She turned the shirt over in her hands and traced the letters slowly. How often had she done this very thing when he’d been lying in bed hurting from the latest bout with chemo. She pulled the shirt over her head and snuggled herself into its warmth, tears rising again.  

 “I miss you, daddy,” she whispered. “Why did you have to leave me? It’s been a year and it still hurts so much.”  

 She took a deep breath and wiped her cheeks, tears solved nothing. And she had cried enough tears in the few months after the funeral.  

 The door squeaked as it was pushed open and a breeze brushed her shoulders. Hands squeezed her shoulders and she jumped and whirled. Her mouth dropped open in shock, “Daddy?”  

 His warm hands wrapped around her and the tears flowed in earnest. “Daddy, oh daddy!”  

 “Hush sweetheart, you’ll hurt yourself crying like that.” His familiar voice was a healing balm to her soul. His hands came to her shoulders and he pulled back to look at her. “You’ve done so well, honey. Where are these tears coming from?”  

 She stared at him in disbelief, “You left me! How was I supposed to survive without you? I needed my dad! I needed you!”  

 His smile was soft and sad, “Love, you’ve come so far, how can you say that you’re not surviving? You are a strong amazing person that gets things done no matter what you have to face getting there. Losing me was just something else you had to face on the incredible journey of your life! I know it hurts; I know it’s hard, but you got through it and you kept going! You have survived!” He squeezed her again. “Look at yourself!”  

 Ali sniffled’ “Well of course I did! I’m your daughter; you wouldn’t have it any other way!” She raised her head from his shoulder to look at him, “I think you would have come back to whip me into shape if I hadn’t!” she added with a tearful giggle.  

 “Ali, Ali, Ali. Do you have any idea how much I love you? You are an incredibly amazing woman and I am so proud to be your dad! You just have to remember that I’m always here with you. In the little things. I’m folding laundry with you, I’m visiting your mom with you, and I’ll always watch over you, I promise.”  

 An annoying peal cut through the conversation, and Ali jerked awake. “Wha-?” she wilted, it had seemed so real. Then she remembered what he had said, ‘I’m always with you.’ She looked down a the shirt she was wearing; he was with her. Whenever, wherever she needed him.  

 “Thank you daddy,” she whispered, “I love you too!”