My mom made me write in this dumb journal so I can express "feelings" during my teenage years. I think my Teenage years are fine so I guess this is the end of my journal.

I guess it was a bad idea to tell my mom I finished writing my journal because of course she wanted to read and she said that my attitude towards this journal was not okay so I would have to keep on writing .

I know this is supposed to be a "feelings" journal but I am just going to kind of write down my life. I am trying to think of the pros and cons of this journal. Some pros are that maybe someone could find this journal and think I am someone so important and then I'll become famous but then again there are a lot of cons.

Day 1 : Well I didn't do anything fun I did the normal get up get dresses and so on so ya not much I felt good about this day. ( That was for you mom, this might be one of the very few feeling words I will use in this journal.)

Day 2 : I am still wondering why I actually agreed to write in this journal. In this journal you will see that my life isn't actually as exciting as you think it is.

Day 3: Today my mom was about to sit down with me and have the talk but very thankfully my friend knocked on the door. I know you might be saying " how could you possibly know that she was about to talk to you about ,well that subject." Here I'll tell you exactly what she said. " um honey I don't know how to say this but You need to start," and then that was when we got interpreted.

Day 4: Well I might as well just stop putting the days because it's not like whoever is going to read this will need the day that I started. So my mom came up to me and I think she was about to restart the talk and so I let her finish so I could just get this over with. She started with a

“ Um honey your dad and I,” 

and right then and there I thought she was telling me that they were going to divorce but I let her continue. 

“ Your dad and I have been struggling with our work and we can’t afford some of the bills.” 

At the time I didn't know why they were dragging me in or what I could do. But then she said, 

“ We need you to get a job, you are old enough.” 

At the time I didn’t know what to think I was just really shocked. I didn’t know if it was the part where we might lose our house or I had to get a job. Well I really wanted to keep our house so I told my mom I would try to apply someplace today!

I finally found a place to apply. It was a trampoline place but I forgot what it was called. I thought it was an easy job to just stand around and make sure no one gets hurt and that they are following the rules and I get paid 9 dollars an hour. I knew it wasn’t much but I hoped it would help. 

I had doubts about my application and they didn’t get back to me for a while but then about 2 weeks later I got an email and I got accepted! I couldn’t believe that they actually approved of my application but I guess they did. 

I am starting work on the 18th (which was in a week). I don’t know if I was exactly excited or scared out of my mind. I got there and I checked in at the front. I did what they told me to and I just sat there and watched kids for my first day. 

My first day was pretty easy and I thought it would be like that every time I worked, but every time I learned something new or my job got harder. 

My mom told me that we were still struggling with bills and so I did what anyone would do. I asked for a raise. My manager told me not exactly a yes but not exactly a no he said maybe and if I could he would let me know. I waited for a while and he never told me anything. I went to go ask him if I got it and he said

“Did no one tell you I told Brandon to tell you, but ya you got the raise.” 

I was so happy and mad that Brandon didn’t tell me. 

Because of my raise I earned around 90 more dollars then I would have if I didn't have a raise . I got a raise of 3 dollars. I got paid 12 dollars an hour. 

For some reason my schedule this week was different or unusual then any other week. It was a Thursday afternoon ( 1:00 to be exact). My mom walked in. I could tell she had been crying. I saw her get something out of the car. I thought she was just coming to visit me. She came in, I still didn’t know what she had in her hand. She ran to me and started crying even more. I ran to her and hugged her. I still didn’t know why we were crying but we were. 

My mom whispered in my ear when we were hugging, she said. 

“ I’m so sorry I know you did your best but I guess it just wasn’t enough.” 

Right then and there I knew exactly what she was talking about. We lost the house! My mom continued and said

“ I know you did your best and we are so grateful for you but me and your father just want to let you know that we don’t blame you one bit” 

I know it wasn’t my fault but I just felt like it was. I knew they weren’t blaming me but it just felt like I was blaming myself. We finally got home and surprisingly they already packed a lot of things. My parents told me to hurry. I went straight up to my room and started packing. 

When I was packing all of these memories just kept popping up in my head and then thoughts of my future came up and they did not look good. Finally my mom came in to ask me if I was almost done and that made the thoughts go away. I didn’t know how my future was going to be good or bad. I will try to live it the best.