Green Eyed Woman

1:01 AM. The blinding numbers cast a dull glow across the room. Her eyes had fully adjusted to the dark a while ago. She could barely look at the alarm clock on the dresser, so bright in contrast to the dim room. It had been about an hour since his body had begun its regular twitching, the key indicator that he had entered REM and was as good as dead to the world. Her- on the other hand, her body had wrapped her in a cold sweat tight enough to suffocate a person. Her head pounded with the misery that comes with insomnia. Sleep had recently been elusive in this bedroom. The maddening glow of the alarm clock, the heat emanating from his body as he soundly slept, her ears ringing as his excuses played over and over again in her head. Every once in a while she would silence her mind long enough to slip under consciousness. But eventually her anxieties always came, chasing her from sleep with the ferocity of hellhounds settling a debt. She used to have no problem falling asleep. 

She closed her eyes. The white light from the clock across the room pounded against her eyelids, demanding her attention. She slid a pillow over her head, careful not to wake him with her movement. The jersey sheets offered no comfort as she willed her breath to slow and her thoughts to sink into the abyss her body craved. 

*buzz*

An all too familiar light seemed to intentionally shine under the pillow from the nightstand next to her. It called to her like a siren song, luring her to destruction. She felt her chest cave. A primal part of her pushed it away. The same part that kept her from touching a hot stove or eating suspicious looking berries. That light would only lead to pain. She slung her arm over the pillow and tightened it over her eyes, desperately trying to block out that seductive light. For a moment her brain was entirely quiet. That’s how she knew that what she heard wasn’t just in her head. Something had shuffled at the end of the bed. She went entirely still. His breathing kept its steady rhythm next to her. Her heart began racing as she felt a weight settle at her feet. Someone was sitting on their bed. 

“Get up.” A distorted voice sounded. She held her paralysis with all her might, hoping whoever was in the room with them would think she was asleep and leave. She heard nothing and felt the weight at the end of the bed lift. She waited a moment- still nothing. Just as she was about to let her body relax, the weight settled directly next to her on the bed. She couldn’t stop her body from shaking as the person leaned in close to her face, still covered by the pillow. 

“I know you’re awake.” She recognized that voice from somewhere, but couldn’t identify the speaker. With shaking hands, she slowly uncovered her head. But nobody was there. All she saw was the glow of the alarm clock. 

*buzz*

She gasped as his phone illuminated on the nightstand beside her once again. Her blood was pumping in her ears. She couldn’t quite make out what the notification said from where she laid, but suddenly was unable to peel her eyes from the screen. The rest of the room seemed to melt away. 

“Look at it.” Her head whipped back to the spot where she had felt the weight settle. Again- nobody was there. Her chest began to rise and fall as her breathing quickened. She turned her head towards him. His eyes moved beneath the lids, his mouth was agape as he breathed deeply. Panicked, she reached for his arm to wake him. A white hand came from behind her and gripped her wrist right as she was about to touch him. She felt another hand cup the back of her head to keep her still. A whimper escaped her. In the glow of the clock, the hand looked sickly and green. 

“Don’t wake him.” The voice sounded right beside her ear, sending a wave of chills throughout her body. The hand cupping her head began moving up and down. It took her a moment to realize whoever was behind her was stroking her hair. 

“Look at him.” The voice demanded. She did as the voice said. Even when he slept, she thought he was beautiful. Her heart filled with the warmth and gratitude that she felt everyday from the glow of his attention.

“He’s a liar.” The voice with a hint of poison. Her heart stalled, the warmth leaving her like water down the drain. She watched him for a beat. 

“What’s he lying about?” She asked. Her own voice sounded weak and broken, her whisper causing him to stir just in the slightest. The voice behind her gently shushed her, the hand continuing to move in long strokes against her hair. 

“Why don’t you find out?” The hand released her wrist and disappeared behind her. The other hand left the back of her head, leaving a gaping cold spot on her skull. She studied him for another moment. The warmth she had felt in her chest a moment ago, just from the sight of him, seemed foreign as a weight like stones eased onto her heart. Flashbacks of stolen glances towards passing women, quickly covered phone notifications from names she didn’t recognize, and dismissive excuses when she asked where he was the night before played through her mind like a tortuous movie. The panic she felt shifted into resolution. She turned her back to him. 

As she faced the room, the owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen. She barely noted that nobody was there. She didn’t care. Her mind was finally silent. The glow of the alarm clock buzzed indistinctly, no longer registering to her as her attention honed in on the phone laying on the nightstand. She moved at what felt like a glacial pace, mindful of every creak the bed made as she leaned to grab the phone. Her fingers met the plastic of the case and wrapped around the phone, quickly pulling it into her chest. She entered his passcode. He had given it to her ages ago, back when he said he didn’t care whether she looked at his phone. Now he practically jumped on her if she checked the time. The memory sent a pang of anxiety through her as she tried not to analyze why his tune had changed, knowing deep in her heart the exact reason it had. The phone opened for her, the light reflecting the tears lining her eyes as she read through the messages. 

“I told you.” The voice sounded by the door. She looked up, hardly able to discern the dread filling her as the vibrant green eyes stared back at her. She watched as the sunken and pale woman gave her a malignant smile before turning to go, leaving her in the scathing light of her discovery and the contemptuous glow of time.