A Friend Sent From Heaven

Let me tell you about the time when Adriana and I became instant friends. It was one sunny August morning when I was getting ready for my middle school dog day orientation and was ecstatic to see my friends. It had been so long since the last time I saw them or talked to them; I was super ready to catch up and listen to what they did over the summer. I rushed my mother to take me because I wanted to see my friends so badly. As a small little sixth grader, going into middle school was a huge deal. I remember walking into the gym where every 7th grader would meet; I was so excited to see my friends not seeing them for the whole summer felt like a lifetime. Once I spotted them, my face lit up and I went towards them. Once they saw me going their way they whispered to one another, next second I realized they had put their feet over every chair that was near them. As I approached them they acted as if I were not there. I asked them if they could move their feet so that I could sit and I did not get a response. I felt like a ghost, like I did not belong, like I was not worthy enough. I wanted to leave. I was a second away from calling my mother but I convinced myself that I would be fine. I stayed “friends¨ with them but it was not the same I could not go to them for anything. I had no one to go to when I went through my hardest times. I felt empty. I always wondered what I had done to make them dislike me so much. Seventh grade was already a big difference from sixth grade and adding on to that I could not focus in school. My grades dropped tremendously. I would go home, lock myself in the restroom, and cry in the shower. One time my mother came in, I thought I could open up to her and tell her how I felt but she just called me stupid and said ¨y esas pendejadas¨ (and those dumb things). At that moment I realized that no one would be there for me so I had to motivate myself. It was tough. I stopped meeting up with my old friends and started going into the library and doing my homework. I always dreamed of having that best friend who would understand me and be there to listen just as much as I would. Then one day my life changed. It was the day I debated whether life was worth living. I did not have anyone there for me and did not believe that I could get through this by myself. That same day I got a wake-up call I met Adriana in the library. She was also working on her homework and studying for her test, when she came up to me because she noticed we were working on the same subject. One question on homework turned into a rant session where we were able to share everything with one another. Adriana shared her story with me. Where she told me that one day she was about to end her life and in the process of doing so she suddenly had a flashback and fainted. She had a vision of what life would be like without her and noticed that by doing so she would relieve all of her sufferings but bring pain to so many others that she never realized loved her. From then on she says that she reached out to everyone and started to build a connection and relationship. She said that everything is not a one way street. Both people have to try and if I do not try to reach out, how will others think I need help because they are not mind readers. She opened up my eyes. I began to think differently and reflected back to my life and relationships. I noticed that when my parents do certain things or set certain rules it is for my benefit and safety not because they are trying to be rude. I began to think about the time they did ask for me to talk to them and it was not because they wanted to be annoying they were genuinely curious. Adriana and I exchanged numbers and from that day we began texting every single day. I like to believe that she was an angel sent to me from heaven. 

Later that night she texted me to check up on me because I did share with her what I was thinking of prior to meeting her and she asked me to talk to my parents and have a discussion with them no matter what topic it did not have to be about how I was feeling. Something like an icebreaker she told me because she knew how awkward it could be for both my parents and I since we usually are not affectionate nor do we like to show that we care. After doing this we began to have family game nights which helped us grow and build our family relationship. In such little time Adrian and I became best friends. Even on that first day of meeting one another we were able to trust one another and confide in eachother. Trusting someone is one thing I struggle with tremendously. It takes me so long to trust someone but for some reason it was different with Adriana. She saved my life but it also took me to open up to her and that is one thing she has helped me with. I have been more open with people because she helped me understand that people can not read my mind and when someone does not understand I become hurt and I am the reason I am hurt because I expect certain things from people. She told me that I should not be expecting but instead talk to people and let them know what I need even though it will be difficult at first. Adriana became my best friend because she was not judgemental and was accepting.