A Little White Lie

It was difficult, sad to reflect and complicated to explain why he chose to leave.

Stan’s eyes was on the photo he took more than a decade ago. The clarity of the memory was like yesterday, it was him in the center with a black short trouser and blue cotton shirt. On his left was his father, he could now see that he was much taller than his dad.

“My younger brother on my right side, always wearing a hat, he did well for himself after graduating in engineering. The last time we spoke he mentioned something about getting married.”

There was a foggy line of sadness in Stan’s voice as he tried to clarify himself.

Vailene sat on the bad holding in her hand a towel that she was busy folding, Stan knew that she was interested in knowing the whole story and that she would insist until he acknowledges all the details. She was that kind of person he understood her by now.

Vailene asked nothing during his pauses as if to not disturb him at all.

He looked at her and her belly slowly growing.

She made a sound as if cleaning her throat, Stan knew that he kept quiet for too long. Gently stroking his hand for the last time over the photo, he placed it on the bad sitting down next to Vailene. “You know I love you, don’t you?” Stan said.

She looked at him, “you know I love you too, don’t you?” She replied and smiled, Stan smiled too and felt that softness in his heart. He always gets that feeling when her voice is soft and passionate.

“So what seems to worry you so much my love?” Vailene kindly with a sweet voice asked Stan.

“Remember I told you I ran away from home to live with some other woman?”

“I remember” Vailene admitted. .

“Well, she was five years older than me and I was ashamed to let my father know that the woman I am in love with was older, he would always shout about being involved with older women when intoxicated. We grew up and thought maybe it was one of his experiences that were speaking. So I lied and said that I was going to seek better job opportunity. I left to live with her.

My brother would call me, sometimes it was after six months or longer. He knew I was with a woman although time never allowed them to meet.”

Vailene intensely concentrated on Stan, as if she was scanning him with her eyes, trying to figure out if he still has hidden feelings for this mysterious women.

It made him feel uncomfortable but he managed to ignore it and kept speaking.

 “Love was blossoming and I felt that she understood me, although I was miles away from my family I knew that this was my life set out for me when she fell pregnant after a year. And when my son was born I was happy to be a father.”

Vailene looked at Stan with shock and surprise in her eyes, “you never told me you had a child?”

Stan sat tighter to her side but she moved a little further away from him.

“Please listen to the whole story and then you can judge me.”

“But Stan….”

“Please Vailene, just listen….” Stan looked at his fiancé.

“If after this you feel that you don’t want to marry a man like me, I will understand.” Looking deep into her blue eyes which seemed now cold, she was even more beautiful to him now that her eyes were filled with mystery and confusion.

 Vailene pulled her shoulders up and without realizing it held on tighter to the towel in her hand. “I would love to hear what happens next” she politely fired the words.

With a little hesitation Stan continues…

“After two years she fell pregnant again.”

And this time Stan kept quiet for a long time as if reflecting on it, not realizing that Vailene was now sitting with tears in her eyes.

“I was about to get married when I found out that the second child was my best friends child, I was deceived. I could not stand the thought of it when he told me himself. When I asked her about it, all she had to say was - “I’m sorry.” So I packed my bags and said - ‘I’m sorry’ too, I left.”

Vailene looked at Stan; there was now a pitch of sympathy in her voice when she asked “if he ever saw his son after he left?”

With tears in his eyes he looked at her and saw she too was crying. “I never saw him again; I went to sleep many nights wondering what he looks like, picturing him at school, playing. I know I have been neglecting him regardless the secret savings account that I made for him. “I miss him Vailene.”

Vailene came closer and covered Stan with her arms.

“What is his name?” she wanted to know.

“Steve.”

”Wow, nice name. Who chose it?”

“I did of cause” they both could smile through the tears.

“Why did you never tell me Stan? I would have understood.”

Stan kissed Vailene on the forehead and held her tight for a moment.

“How old is he now Stan?”

“Ten years,” he replied.

“I love you Stan, I always did and always will, but you must be honest with me. I will never keep something like that from you. The sad part is that we’ve been together for three years and I never knew you were a father. We could have made arrangements long ago for Steve to visit us.”

“I know baby, it’s just that it took me time to get over it, maybe I handled this the wrong way, maybe I thought I could just run away from my problems but I was wrong.”

Vailene looked at him hard, “yes you were wrong my love.”

Stan stood up and went to one of his drawers opening it; He took out a photo of his mother with him and his brother and showed it to her.

“After she died my father took us. He was not married to my mother with me that is why I have my mother’s surname.”

Vailene looked at the photo which she saw for the first time. Stan was now scrolling through his phone and showed her another picture of a woman with a man and three children.

“Is this not your brother Stan?”

“Yes it is dear.”

“Oh I see, so this must be his wife and children. Did he get married Stan…? I must admit, she does look much older than him. Oh and this boy looks like you Stan, is it your brothers first born…? I can’t wait to meet them.” Why is it that you never want us to visit Stan…?”

Stan was not the kind of guy that would express on family issues and how he felt, Vailon knew that and appreciated that they could speak about matters.

“It’s complicated Vailene.”

“How, I don’t understand Stan?”

   “My brother ran away from home for the same reason that I did. Only that he decided to lie to his wife and told her that his relatives are few and live far away.

Now years after being married he called and want to surprise his wife, he wants us to visit for thanks giving, says he wants the children to know their uncle.”

Vailene smiled, “Wow, I would love to meet them.”

“We can’t Vailene, at least not now. I am not ready.”

“Ready for what Stan?”

Vailene looked at Stan, “It is time to face reality Stan.”

“I Said No!”

“But why Stan, for god’s sake it’s your brother!”

“No Vailene! It is about that woman my brother married…,”

“What about her Stan?”

“She is the mother of my son, and that boy looking like me is Steve, my first born.

How the hell do I face my brother and his so called wife that’s probably sleeping with his friends?”