A Fearful Time of the Year

As a contractual security officer assigned to a public state office, I very much wanted to finish my secret assignment of stuffing confidential letters into envelopes slated for the day's outgoing mail. I was eager to join the Christmas party downstairs in the conference room. I could smell the fresh hot party pizza delivered by the courier ten minutes ago. If I somehow finished this last batch of letters, I knew I could at least help myself to a ridiculous edgy pepperoni slice no one wanted.

Liz, a state caseworker, poked her head into the vacant office space and smiled warmly. "Kevin, what are you doing up here?"

With my back to her from a desk, I shuddered and pulled the letter tray and box of envelopes close to my chest like a greedy child making an effort to conceal precious toys. "Come downstairs and join the party," she continued. "Everyone is having pizza." 

"I didn't know," I said half-jokingly. "I guess I better get down there soon to safeguard the pizza with my life." 

Liz chuckled. "See you down there, Goff Ball." 

She trotted away. 

Whom was I fooling? I was nowhere close to completing this latest secret detail dumped on me by Sam Fear, the workaholic Assistant Director who didn’t have the word FUN in his vocabulary arsenal. 

I had despised this clerical task since day one when my real employer assigned me to this site. Sure, I was free from oversight since I was the only full-time guard at this center with adorable workers in addition to enjoying the weekends off; but I disliked spending half of my time away from the lobby where my official purpose was to monitor visitor activities. There was a shortage of clerical workers. This prompted Sam to discreetly introduce radical measures to offset the growing stress radiating from the small overworked clerical team. I was planning to take a small break from letter stuffing considering the two hours of secluded misery when Sam stopped in the doorway. 

"Kevin, today is Christmas Eve," said Sam. "But remember, there is no room here for slackers. I want that bulk ready to go before the mailman arrives here this evening." 

My blood boiled. I turned to this tall thin man before me who was cracking a hideous smile. If there was a clone of Abraham Lincoln, this guy was it. The similarities ended there. Sam's satanic smirk infuriated me. Perhaps, the past several months of laboring under this client's micromanagement had reached its conclusion. I so much wanted to either walk off the site or hit him.

"After you get done, come downstairs and fetch the gifts the staff brought in for you. There's also a thick envelope with your name on it. See how nice I can be when you are productive?"

Sam departed. The offer of gifts soothed my nerves and a smile took hold across my face. The fiery rebellious attitude was extinguished before it could spread. I returned to my duties. As I worked, I heard the Frank Sinatra song classic, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" screaming from a radio, along with multitudes of partygoers conversations blended with waves of laughter, emanating from below my dungeon. The spirit of Christmas fueled my soul as I tossed one completed envelope after another into a mail bin beneath the desk. The promise of gifts was enticing, to say the least. The way I saw it, I was going to receive a much-deserved reward for being treated like a Hebrew slave.

Footsteps stopped abruptly in the doorway. "What are you doing with restricted files?" a voice shot out. 

Shaking exceedingly, I slowly turned and found caseworker John Douglas sizing me up. I was speechless. No one ever cared or kept tabs on what I was doing at the center except for Sam. Now I had this devoted Union Representative frowning at me like a hungry lion on the verge of attacking. I was speechless. 

John's voice level escalated as if I was an intruder posing a threat to national security. "What the hell are you doing, Kevin?" 

 I chuckled and tried to change the topic with my known sense of humor. "I know! What reasonable person would want to miss a party?" I pretended like I was preparing to leave. "I'll be downstairs in a little bit." 

"You have no business in possession of client's health status." John walked slowly over the desk with his horrified eyes locked on the sensitive materials over the table. He shook his head disgustedly and pointed at me. "You better explain yourself or I will have to report this."                                                                                                                    

The game was up and I accepted it. 

Look, John, everything is all right. Sam wants me to do this. The clerks are understaffed and they need all the help they can get."

"Did Sam Fear lose what little brain cells he has? He shouldn't have you in here doing this. This is not your job."      

"But I want to do this. I want to help the clerks. It's okay."

"It's not okay, Kevin. This is bull and you know it."

"John, it's not bothering..."

"It doesn't matter what you think," interrupted John. "You are not a state employee. This is a clear violation of confidentiality laws. On top of that, Sam is taking an advantage of your kindness."

For the next five minutes, John did a great deal of talking about laws, codes, and penalties for violations of federal privacy laws. To minimize any chance of increasing his anxiety, I kept my mouth sealed and listened keenly. He was a talker. He was a respected elected official of a statewide union. John frequently traveled throughout various parts of the state on union business. Therefore, I probably saw him twice a week at most. 

 John finally concluded as my pitiful eyes studied the rug. "Kevin, I won't report this; but I don't ever again want to see you touching sensitive documents." He started to gather all the letters and envelopes. "Contractual workers in possession of stuff they should not have access to is a no-no." 

I stood up with my hands in my pocket. "Yeah, I think you're right, John."

"I know I am right," he blasted. "He started for the doorway with the bin full of materials in his hands.                                                                                                       

Before he exited, he turned back to me. "Kevin, you were hired by your agency to render security services. Stand up to that tyrant Sam and remind him of that. If he acts like a jerk, report this to your superiors."

"They'll likely pull me from this site and replace me with another officer."

"Life is all about confronting wrongs courageously. Think about what he'll do to the officer that takes your place. Hell, if you must report this to the Director, by all means do it. That might be the only way to put the SOB in his place."

With that, John was gone. I had a moment to rethink my tendency to never challenge the authority of Sam Fear. It was a mistake as Sam's dependability on me increased in recent months.

It was time to stand up to fear.  I had to do the right thing to honor the legality of confidential information. I was willing to accept whatever consequences came as a result. 

When I arrived at the Christmas party downstairs in a hypnosis-like state, I was greeted warmly. All the pizza slices were gone but that was the least of my concerns. One by one, happy-go employees were aggressively stuffing presents into my arms. 

It wasn't too long before I saw Betty moving in my direction as slow as molasses with a thick card envelope in her wrinkled hand.  She was seventy-one years old, and it was a wonder by everyone why she hasn't yet retired. 

"Oh, Kevin we have a surprise for you," Betty said softly.

I set the packages on the table and stepped back as if I was a prisoner of war. "Please, Betty I can't..."

"But you must. Every Christmas we always take up a collection for the guard by workers who prefer giving the Do-Re-Mi over traditional presents."                                                                                      

She was upon me when Sam Fear emerged between us like flashed lightning. He rudely snatched the envelope away from Betty.     

"Sam!" she protested. 

Sam looked on her with a cold face. "Betty, you have been here long enough to know it is a tradition for the directors to choose the appropriate time to dispense our gifts to outsiders of this agency."

Betty frowned and adjusted her hearing device.  "Sam, did you say our gifts? I don't ever remember you offering charity to our previous guards." Her earpiece fell to the floor and she stumbled down after it. Sam chuckled. 

I quickly knelt and picked it up for her.

"Thank you, Kevin." she said. 

Sam's dreary glare shifted to me. "Yes, Kevin is thoughtful when it comes to putting work before nonsense."

Betty shook her head at Sam and trudged wearily away. 

"Kevin, for you to make it to this party at a considerable time, I take it you finished the work I assigned to you?" 

I cleared my throat. "Mr. Fear, my contractual work consists of only providing security services out in that lobby and nothing else. I better go there." 

I started to leave.

"Your work consists of doing whatever the hell I tell you to do. Kevin?" 

Like nearing the finish line in a race, I felt jubilation as I drew closer to the doorway.                                                                                                                     

You stop right there!" Sam blasted.

Everyone in the room froze in awe;  including me. I peered over my shoulder and Sam rushed pass me without even looking. 

"Kevin, report to my office immediately," he said under his breath. 

I had a brief glimpse of John keenly watching it all go down while consuming a cocktail drink. He slightly nodded at me. Confused chatter took hold of the shaken staff. I trailed after my fuming adversary. Once I arrived upstairs in Sam's office, he was already seated with his legs crossed and staring at me with his blue piercing eyes. 

"Close the door behind you," he said. 

I secured the door and sighed. 

"Have a seat, Kevin."

"Thank you, but I rather stand."

"Suit yourself." He looked me up and down as if I was a menacing creature not of this world. "You have some nerve challenging my authority openly. I don't know whom you think you're talking to, but you better get your act together if you want to continue working here."

"Last time I heard from my employer, working consists of providing security services to this facility… not rifling through confidential letters."

"Never again question my authority. You work for me!"

"I work directly for a security company. You are my employer’s client. Nothing more."

The color in Sam's face turned red. "Don't you get uppity with me, Kevin. I don't work you all that hard. What's so damn difficult with being a team player around here?"                                                                                                                    

"I am not a state employee, Sam. If someone reports me handling confidential information, then I'm the one in hot water. As the assistant director of this office, you should know that better than anyone else."

"I don't need a lowly uneducated security officer reminding me of what my job entails. What I say around here goes. Period." 

I snarled. "Are you a blood-thirsty dictator; or are you a state civilian whose income is funded by taxpayer dollars?"

Furiously incensed, Sam studied me as he pondered his next course of action. Deep down inside, I was frightened at the prospects of Sam making a phone call to my employer to have me replaced. He handled and approved all work contracts related to the center. I enjoyed having the weekends off which was a rarity for new security officers. I imagined being transferred to a hospital setting where my presence on second and third shift would require my presence at the busy emergency room desk on Fridays and Saturdays where nothing was short of chaotic in the big city. 

"Kevin, you are not acting like your usual self. Someone had to put you up to this. Who was it? I want a name."

"No one.”

Sam’s chair spun and pulled himself up to his desk. He snatched his corded office phone off the receiver and pointed it at me. 

"Getting those damn letters ready for mail pickup is not an option. Either you do it, or you can pack your things and get lost." 

I stood my ground firmly, shielding my worries the best way I could. 

“Sam, I will not leave until you contact my employer and I get authorization from a superior to leave. Once you make that call, you better believe all of this will be documented and sent up through my agency's chain of command."                                                                                                                   

The curtain of reality came down and brought a stillness among Sam. The resounding dial tone from his tight grip signified self-acknowledgment of a dead-end. He looked away from me and slowly returned the phone. He sat back in his chair looking every ounce of defeated. 

"Report to the lobby downstairs and resume your security duties," he said softly. 

I nodded hesitantly, taken aback that this grumpy man surrendered his selfish pride. Leaving that room was like embracing oxygen after enduring deprivation in a gas chamber. But did Sam have something up his sleeve? Was this debate over? I hurried downstairs. 

I moved through the first-floor hallway as if I was a parade passing the curious state employees who were making inquiries directly to me concerning what the hell just happened. 

"Kevin!" called out Betty. "I left all your presents in a bag in the conference room.

"Thank you, Betty but my company's policy forbids me from accepting gifts from clients while on duty," I said.

"That's a bunch of bull." someone cried. 

"This is Sam's doing," another one blurted out. "What a lowlife Grinch!"

"If he's visited by three ghosts tonight, I hope they won't ever let him come back," another one said. "Hell is an appropriate place for him."

Behind me, a heated discussion took hold among the angry party-goers who unanimously blamed Sam for detonating a bomb over a special function.

I eventually ventured across the sparse lobby filled with lingering visitors who were eagerly waiting to be seen by a caseworker. I took my standing post near the entrance doors and stood there like a statue. No one there could tell what dwelled in the dark corners of my worried mind. I stood up to Sam Fear. However; I wasn't certain if he harbored wrathful intentions of  getting even with me someday.                                                                                                                     

Early the next day on Christmas morning I was awakened by thunderous knocks on my apartment door. I wasn't expecting anyone. While I cleared my groggily head the pounding came to an abrupt end. 

I staggered to the door peephole like a drooling zombie. The hallway appeared deserted. I opened the door and below, I saw a bag of gifts. When I glared inside, I recognized the wrapped presents as being the ones given to me by the state workers. Even the thick envelope intended for me was resting over the multitudes of gifts. Someone has scribbled a note on it:

'Kevin, you are not on company time and we don't want to hear any more baloney about company policy. You are the nicest security officer we ever had and we want you to know we love you appreciative your loyalty to duty. Do not worry about us. You have done so much already. We are so happy for your generosity. Merry Christmas to you and Thank You. Sincerely, The Wrecking Crew.’

I smiled gratefully and looked up and down the hallway. Who at the center would've known where I lived? Unless someone trailed me. Getting into this apartment building without a key wouldn't have been simple. With a heart full of cheerful warmth, I carried my treasures inside. 

The next day, when I entered the state office, the secretary at the front desk told me Sam wanted me to report to his office right away. It looked as if the fight was far from over or worst. Maybe this was my last day after the jerk contacted my agency with whatever lie he could cook up. 

Soon, I found Sam up standing upstairs smiling.

"Kevin, I like to apologize for my conduct on Christmas Eve."

I gasped.

"I was wrong and you were right. As a security officer, your place is in the lobby where we need you the most; not handling the jobs of the clerical staff who are being paid to do what they were hired to do." 

"I didn't mean to step on your toes; but...."

"I deserved broken toes. Today, I learned from the Director I could acquire the services of a temp agency to use workers to help out with the mail. Effectively immediately, that no longer will be a concern for you. I'm sorry. Do you accept my apologies, Kevin?"

"Certainly…" 

"I just ask if you could do me one favor."

"What's that, Sam?"

"I am disgusted by what took place in this office on Christmas Eve. If you haven't already, I would appreciate it if you keep that between us." 

I smiled. "What happens in management stays in management."

Sam gently patted me on the shoulders, "Thank you, Kevin. You are a good man.”

My heart became blanketed by a sense of purpose and maturity beyond my wildest dreams. This experience was my first in confronting a wrong hatched by a higher authority. The stressful obstacles molded me on the path to righteousness. My cracked grin was indeed on the same level as a statue of a courageous soldier marveling at his accomplishments. Why not? I stood up to fear. I was in awe of a fearful moment that ultimately lead to an invaluable life lesson for me.

THE END