Sister/Friends

TW: murder, mass shooting

Why did we have to go to the mall that day? Everyday I think, what if we went to the Southside mall instead? What if we just stayed home and watched a movie? What is Stephanie just took the bus instead of me driving? What if we got a flat on the highway on the way to the mall and never made it there? It was something so innocent. So inconsequential. Something we did practically every weekend ended in the murder of my sister. 

It was a Saturday during the summer and just like every other weekend that summer my sister and I were bored. We worked during the week at a decamp where as all our friends worked on the weekends bussing tables so we were by our lonesome every Saturday afternoon that summer. It had been a long time since my sister and I had been friends but working together this summer has made me realize how much I missed hanging out with my little sister.

Growing up we were inseparable until I turned double digits and wanted nothing to do with my ‘loser’ seven year old sister. We co-existed for those years until my mom told me my sister was old enough now to be a camp counselor at the day camp I had been working at for years. At first I was pissed. This was my deal. My job. My friends and the last thing I wanted was my weird fourteen year old sister hanging around us all summer but after that first week working together I noticed that my sister had grown into quite a cool young lady. She was really funny and a hard worker and everyone at the camp loved her. 

“It’s way too hot to sit in this house all day. I have an idea Ash! Lets go to the pool.” My sister is hanging off the couch upside down. Her head is off the couch and on the floor and the cat is tangling itself up in her hair.

“Get that cat out of your hair! You’re going to have so many knots and I’m going to have to brush them out for you while you cry!” My sister has a very sensitive scalp and always asks my to brush her hair for her. She rolls her eyes but flips herself right side up. “I am not going to the pool today. I have my period and I feel gross. Lets just stay in and watch a movie.” 

“No way it’s to hot. I’m going to take the bus over to the mall then.” She starts to get off the couch. 

“Wait a minute. Wait a minute. The mall doesn’t sound like a bad idea. We have air conditioning, pretzel stand and no one has to see my bloated belly in a bathing suit!” I start to get up too and clap. “Give my a few minutes and I’ll drive us.”

“Oh great! I hate that bus! Last time I was on it a baby threw up right next to me. You know how much I hate that. I started gagging. Then the driver started gagging. Everyone was gagging. It was horrendous.”

I laugh at her stupidness. “You’re insane. Leave a note for mom while I go and change.” 

After I get dressed I pass the note my sister left for my mom and lean over the table to read it. 

To my beautiful mother

Ashley and myself went to the mall to seek some refuge from this oven that we call a home. We will get dinner on the way home so don’t wait for us. 

Love your beautiful and most favorite daughter,

Stephanie

I grab my keys and smile on the way out the door. 

“Ahh sweet relief!” Stephanie opens up her arms and spins around reveling in the coolness of the air conditioning. I walk over to the directory in front of the door. 

“Why are you looking at the directory? It’s the mall!” 

“I know where we are Steph. We usually go to Southside mall. This is Eastside mall. I wanted to see if their set up was similar to Southside’s.” 

“Wow. I didn’t even think of that. That’s why I hang out with you sis. Very smart.”

“And very pretty.”

“Eh.” 

It ends up the mall is pretty much the same set up so we head up the escalator towards the pretzel stand. 

“Oh! Look! Those sneakers! Those are the ones I’m saving for. Wow Ash look at them.”

“They’re okay I guess. It’s a shoe. I don’t understand your running fascination anyway.”

“Running is incredible. That feeling of your heart pounding. Sweating. Burning in your legs.”

“Oh yeah that sounds fun. Give me a violin any day.”

“Now that is something I don’t understand.” Stephanie links her arm through mine and we start laughing and walking towards the pretzel stand. 

That’s when we heard fireworks. But that didn’t make sense. July 4th was two weeks ago. And we were inside. I turn to see if Stephanie knows what’s going on but her gaze is focused on someone on the lower level holding up a gun. I’m screaming. Or I think I am screaming. I don’t know if that is me. I feel a pulling on my arm and realize Stephanie is screaming my name.

“Ashley we need to go now. Now!” 

We are running through the upper level of the mall and we pass those stupid running sneakers. We could use those now. What a stupid thing to think in a moment like this. The shooter is walking up the stairs. Where are the police? My sister pulls me into a children’s clothing store. We move into the back and hide behind a clothing rack. We kneel down and wrap our arms around each other. 

“Maybe he won’t shoot inside a children’s store. You know. Well. Theres kids.” I can see the hope in Stephanie’s eyes. 

“Yeah. That’s a smart idea Steph.” I don’t really think it is. 

The firework sound is getting closer. Less and less people are screaming. I close my eyes and start to pray in my head. I pray for my mom. She will not be able to handle losing both of us. I pray for my dad to stay strong for her. I start crying. Stephanie, my baby sister, holds me to her tighter and starts rubbing my head. 

“Hey, I’m sure we will be okay but you know, just in case, thank you for letting me work with you this summer. I have had the best time. I know you didn’t want me there but all I ever wanted to do was work there when I turned 14. I wanted to be just like you.”

“Oh Stephanie! I am so happy you work with me too. I missed you so much. It’s nice to be friends again.”

“Best.”

“Yeah. Best friends.” 

The glass doors shatter as bullets fly into the children’s clothes store. I scream inside. The shooter isn’t even aiming. He’s just firing randomly and bullets are flying everywhere. At some point the storm of bullets stops and he walks out of the store. I don’t move. I don’t know if he’s coming back. My sister is laying on top of me. 

“Stephanie don’t get up yet. We don’t know if he’s coming back.” I whisper to her. I stay like that for sometime after the gunshots stop. The police have made entry into the mall. I breathe a sigh of relief. We made it. Holy crap. 

“Steph. Get up. We are safe. The police are here.” There is no movement. My sister is still partly on my legs. Steph get up!” I half roll over and look at her. I want to tell her to stop playing dead now that we are safe but there is no way she is playing. She’s gone. I don’t remember very much after that. I suffered no bullet wounds. My sister took them all for me. We buried her in the running sneakers she wanted. 

The shooter was the boyfriend of a mall employee who broke up with him. All in all there were 10 fatalities including the shooter, who committed suicide by cop. My sister was the youngest victim. I quit my job at the day camp and took up running. I wanted to feel what my sister felt. Heart pumping. Sweat dripping off my face. Legs burning. My beautiful sister.