The Postmaster

“Next customer.”

“I have a parcel to ship.”

“Where is the parcel?”

“She’s right here.”

“That’s a baby.”

“Yes, her grandparents want to meet her and I can’t afford to take the train to see them.  I can afford to send them a parcel through the mailing system.”

“Where do you want to send her?”

“Iowa City, Iowa.”

“That’s a seventy mile journey!”

“I brought food for her.”

“I don’t think we can take your baby to Iowa City, ma’am.”

“I was told you can send anything in the mail as long as it’s under fifty pounds.  She’s around thirty pounds and she needs to meet her grandparents.”

“Can’t they just come here to see her?”

“Traveling the railway is costly.  Sending a parcel is not.”

“She’s going to need more than just food for a two day journey.”

“I have one extra napkin, the postmaster will have to dry them by a fire when he stops for the night.”

“What about when she cries, or when she’s scared?”

“Betsy is a good baby.  She doesn’t fuss much.”

“I’ve never sent a baby through the mail before.”

“A friend of mine sent her son to meet his grandparents last week.  I know it can be done.”

“The post doesn’t leave until morning.”

“I told you I brought her some food and nappy’s.  She doesn’t need much.”

“Someone will have to watch her at all times.”

“She sleeps through the night.”

“It’s fifteen cents for the stamp.”

“I’d like to insure my parcel for fifty dollars.”

“Okay.  Please put your parcel on the counter.”

“Be good, sweet Betsy.”

“Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma,”

“Here is your record of your parcel shipment.  It will be delivered in two days to Mr. and Mrs. Earl Lancaster in Iowa City, Iowa.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Excuse me while I put the parcel in the back with the others.”

“Who is going to Iowa City?”

“That’s my route.”

“You have a special parcel for this route, Postmaster Clemens.”

“I’m supposed to deliver a baby?”

“Her stamp is right here, on her coat.  Her name is Betsy and you’re delivering her to the Lancaster’s.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“This delivery has been paid in full.”

“Will she even fit in my carry bag?”

“I don’t know, but she comes with some food and extra napkins.”

“What if she —- in the bag?  It’s a bag for letters and packages, not babies.  Surely I can’t take her.”

“Maybe take her as the only parcel on this route?”

“But there are other customers with parcels to be delivered that have also been paid in full.  Am I neglecting them because someone wants to send her baby through the mail?”

“Well…no. However this one is…fragile and requires more attention during this route.”

“Hmmm.  Bring Betsy here and I’ll get her safely to the Lancaster’s.”

“Ma ma ma ma.”

“Hello there Betsy Boo, are you going to be good for me on our little adventure?”

“Ma ma ma ma ma.”

“I’m going to put you in my satchel, and keep you all nice and snug.  I’m going to take a second satchel for the other packages I have to deliver.  Does that sound like a good plan to you?”

“Ma ma ma.”

“I’ll take good care of you.  I’ll get you safely to your grandparents.”

“Hello.  Special delivery.”

“Just leave it on the porch.”

“I can’t do that ma’am, I need to place this parcel in your arms before I finish my route.  I refuse to leave her on the porch.”

“Her?  Oh bless your heart, you brought me our little Elizabeth!”

“Oh yes, me and little Betsy Boo have had quite the adventure.  She’s met so many kind people.  Some of the other ladies wanted to snatch this cute button up, but I said, "No way, I gotta get her to the Lancaster's home.”  She has been such a good parcel. One of my favorite to deliver, actually.”

“Come here, Elizabeth, oh, you sweet thing, I’m so happy you are here.”

“Ma ma ma ma.”

“Say goodbye to Postmaster Clemens.”

“Ma ma ma ma.”

“I guess you’ll get to see Betsy again soon when I mail her back to my daughter.”

“I’ll be looking forward to our next adventure together. Goodbye Betsy Boo, and good day to you, Mrs. Lancaster.”

“Next in line.”

“I need to mail my granddaughter back to her mother.”

“Excuse me?”

“My daughter mailed me this baby last week, and now it’s time for her to go back home.”

“I can’t let you mail her back.”

“Postmaster Clemens is expecting to bring her back.  This is his route, and he brought me Betsy last week.”

“That was last week.  Things have changed since then.  Read the sign over there.”

“No mailing babies.”

“Looks like you and Betsy are going on the train.  Next customer, please.”

“Welcome to Burlington, please safely exit the train and wait patiently for your luggage to be unloaded.”

“We made it!  Are you ready to see your mommy?”

“Ma ma ma ma.”

“I’m ready to see her too.  Oh, there she is!”

“Hello!  It’s so good to see you.  Come here, Betsy.”

“Ma ma!  Ma ma ma ma!”

“How was the train ride, mother?”

“It was quite lovely.  This was a much shorter journey to get here compared to Postmaster Clemens. They wouldn’t let me mail her back to you.”

“Can you believe that?  They changed the rules so you can no longer send children through the mail.  I don’t know why, it was a successful delivery.”

“Postmaster Clemens was so good with her.  I think he enjoyed having Betsy on his route.  He called her Betsy Boo, isn’t that precious?”

“I think maybe we should stop by and see him, maybe let him say hello.”

“I think he’d like that.”

“Ma ma ma ma.”

“I think Betsy Boo would like that too.”

“Ma ma ma.”

“Next in line.”

“Oh no, not you again!  You can’t mail your baby again.”

“Yes, I heard.  My mother brought her back on the train.  Actually, I was hoping to find Postmaster Clemens and thank him for taking such good care of Betsy.”

“I see.  I’ll look and see if he’s in the back.  He may not be back from his route yet.”

“Thank you.”

“Ma ma ma ma.”

“There’s my Betsy Boo!”

“Ma ma ma ma!”

“How’d my sweet girl like her time in Iowa City?”

“Ma ma ma ma!”

“I thought about you every time I did my route.  You were the first baby and last baby I delivered through the mail, and you brought me such joy on that route.”

“Ma ma ma ma!”

“Thank you for taking good care of her.”

“It was my pleasure, and my job! She was a good girl.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner tonight?  Betsy seems to like you very much”

“I would like that.”

“May I call you by your first name?”

“Yes, my name is Clyde.”

“Betsy, what do you think about Clyde coming to dinner?  Oh, don’t cry.”

“Here, let me take her.  She just needs to get reacquainted with her Uncle Clyde.”

“Uncle Clyde?”

“Di di ma ma.”

“I think Betsy loves her Uncle Clyde.  Look at her smiling and clapping!”

“You’re my Betsy Boo.”

“Ma ma ma!”