Geranium Love

           “Self Therapy.” Those two words have ruled Salma’s life ever since she was a twelve-year-old girl fumbling around her nana’s backyard, and to Salma these two words have always meant gardening.

             Several months have already passed, but the memories still dance in her head strong and vibrant like the red geraniums she used to plant with her grandma.

‘Uhhh, I have missed you so much,’ Salma sighs gazing at her nana’s portrait. Clumsily, she jumps into the oversized khaki overalls her grandma used to wear to gardening before she suddenly perished once and for all. ‘It’s funny. Isn’t it, nana?! I have never imagined life without you, but it goes on. Slowly and painfully, it goes on.’’

             It is ten o’clock on a Saturday morning and the sun is smiling down at Thames, New Zealand. Salma finally steps out the door after spending exactly 3 months in grief.

            Living off what was left of her nana’s homemade goods and coffee for months seemed like the perfect plan for Salma until she woke up one day to the rioting chimes of kids playing in her backyard. Watching them carelessly run around throwing fits of laughter here and there, filled her with agony and fury, strong yet tender enough to awaken her happy hormones. Right then, Salma deep cleaned her cottage, showered, and made a “to buy list” which included mainly everything.

            Mesmerized, Salma takes a deep breath, ‘Wow! Life really hasn’t stopped after all.’ She murmurs to herself signaling at the sky for her nana to hear. Once again, she takes a look at her surrounding, plasters a smile on her face, and heads to her Range Rover off to the local market. Thirty minutes later, Salma is passing “Garden Mart” for the fifth time in a row hesitantly stopping, then circling it for the fifth time in a row.

 ‘UGHH!’ She screeches, ‘Nop. I can’t do this. Not here. Not now and most definitely not alone.’

People are looking. The coffee shop owners, a pregnant lady, and a bunch of kids sipping there lemonade, all which she doesn’t recognize, are seemingly entertained by her show.

‘Nana, come back.’ She helplessly cries parking the car. Mortified, she hops off and makes her way inside shyly greeting her two old mates, Ann and Rickie.

‘Apparently, a few months in hiding can certainly turn you into a caveman.’ Salma chants playfully, warming up to the conversation. She gracefully chooses one orchid for the house, half a dozen of geranium plants, a set of petunias, a bag of organic fertilizer, and some new tools to replace her rusty ones.

            Checking every item off her list, Salma heads to the counter giddy with satisfaction, but once she’s there, memories of her last visit at the mart flood back clawing at her chest and vigorously streaming down her cheeks.

‘Shoot!’ She mumbles to herself, gathers her things, and hastily escapes the countless eyes staring right at her soul to the car where she shatters into a million pieces.

               Back at the cottage, Salma throws herself to work. She rakes orange leaves and harmful grass into a pile and speedily sketches her overview of the garden on a piece of paper, and just then joy overwhelms her, and the beauty of her soul pours right out of her smile. Proud of her progress, Salma dances to low melodies of modern music and slowly fall into sync with the nature before her.  For a while, her consciousness fades away, and she loses herself completely to her emotions. They passionately sway her back and forth drawing a delicate smile on her face, then brutally replacing it with vulnerable rivers flowing down her face, right into her heart, drowning it in the sorrows of the unknown.  

             Amid her ever evolving state, Salma tells her stories of loss and grief, only to wake up on the grass, hours later at five in the afternoon.

 ‘Great. It’s empty.’ She shuts the fridge door closed, walks to the nearest pastry shop, orders a croissant and a cup of coffee, and then heads back to her garden. There she wraps herself with the hand knit blanket she got from her grandma on her sixteenth birthday and stargazes for the night, recalling their time together and fighting back tears.

                                                                                                                                                            THE NEXT MORNING:

             Salma has never been an early bird, but today’s plans are exciting enough for her to break her habit. She gets up, takes a shower, throws on a long red dress with white flowers and a side slit, pairs it with casual white sneakers and a straw hat, and heads off for the day. Salma makes her first stop at the coffee shop. On her way in, she notices the sign “Waitress needed” and decides to apply for the job as the cash her grandma has left her is running out. To her luck, Uncle Jimmy who had fancied her grandma is still the owner of the shop and is more than happy to give Salma the job and a free breakfast on top. She swoons with appreciation and drives back to “Garden Mart” to pay for yesterday’s purchase. On her way out, she manages to spot both Ann and Rickie and decides to apologize for her odd acting, but ends up with the emotional literacy of a brick wall and just freezes there for a solid minute before they embrace her with the warmest hug she has ever had in months. Tears dwell in her eyes, but for the first time in what feels like ages they are happy tears. Salma hugs them back and invites them over to help her rehab her nana’s garden.

              Later this day, Ann and Rickie come over with a picnic basket. They help dispose the pile of leaves and layout a striped picnic blanket, ready to enjoy their first garden rehab celebration with Salma.

‘We figured you must have been too busy working and have most probably forgotten all about lunch, eh?’ Ann says sharply as Rickie shoots Salma a displeased look.

‘Eeks. You’re right!’ Salma chuckles softly, covering her face with her palms. She gives them a thankful look, and then they all devour the contents of the basket over small talk and Salma’s garden plans.

               An hour later, they switch their concentration back to work. Ann and Salma carefully plant the petunias in a circle while Rickie builds a small bench on the side from old cut trees. Together they laugh with pure joy hitting each other with soil and dancing to wild music. A wave of anxiety skips over both Ann and Rickie right into Salma’s fragile heart. It swipes her off her feet and gets her down to her knees sobbing like a child. She tries to stop her tears, but nevertheless they fall like rain watering her withering soul. She glances at the geraniums that are still in their pots and throws another fit of endless crying.

‘Those were her favorite. That’s why I bought them.’ Salma confesses through gasps and sighs. Ann hugs her tight and leads her to bed promising they’ll plant them the next day, while Rickie stays outside adding the last touches on his bench and watering the petunias.

              The sun makes its way through trees and wall creeks signaling a new adventure. Ann leaves Salma’s cottage early straight to the corner shop, buys some groceries, and then goes back surprise Salma and Rickie with something tasty.

               An hour later, Salma opens her eyes to the scent of fresh pancakes, grinning widely at the memory of her nana preparing breakfast. She gets out of bed and to her bewilderment; her cottage is decorated with leafy plants, orchids, and flowers in vases. Then Rickie strides in with a pile of gardening and self-investment books and places them in a basket next to the TV set.

‘Woah, wait! What are these?’ Salma eyes him furiously, ‘You guys have done more than enough. I am not taking any of them.’

‘Hahaha. You would never catch me buying books, honey, but Uncle Jimmy asked about you this morning and insisted on me delivering these.’ Rickie replies defensively, ‘Also he gave you the day off. You’re welcome.’

        Salma rolls her eyes at him and smiles. She jumps over to Ann and squeezes her with a tight hug.

          Once the pancakes are ready they gather around the table for breakfast. Afterwards, Ann and Rickie head to work. Salma, however, plants her geraniums with all the care and love in the world, then lays in the sun with one of her new books. She looks up at the sky then back at her home, thanking God and her nana for what they have given her, for life truly is chaos personified.