Susan had always been a quiet and reserved person, preferring to keep to herself rather than engage in the social whirlwind that often surrounded her. She had always felt a little out of place, like she didn't quite fit in with the rest of her peers.
But that all changed the day she saw him.
It was Saturday afternoon when she stepped into Anderton’s Bookshop to look for her next read, when she caught a glimpse of a familiar face browsing through the inventory. Just as Susan entered the store, he looked up and saw her.
The man seemed to be equally captivated by her. He, too, was sure that they had met before, but he couldn't remember where.
They both were intrigued by each other and without hesitation, they instinctively approached each other, their eyes locked in a silent exchange.
"Have we met before?" they both asked simultaneously, their voices barely above a whisper.
By asking each other the same question, they both realized that they had indeed crossed paths before. But, where? And, when?
He began, “My name is Kyle. Kyle McIntire.”
She said, “I’m Susan Blackwell.”
Kyle responded, “I remember that name from somewhere. But I don’t think we ever worked together. Where did you grow up, Susan?”
“I grew up in Springdale,” she replied. “I graduated from high school there.”
“So did I!” Kyle said. “Wait a minute! Were you in the choir?”
Susan had a spark of recognition, and said, “Yes, I was! I sang soprano. And I remember you now. You sang baritone, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did,” Kyle said. “So, you must have been at one end of the choir riser, and I was at the other end.”
“That’s right. I always wanted to meet you,” Susan began, “but I was very shy back then. I was uncomfortable around boys.”
At that point, they realized that they were disturbing the other customers in the store, so Kyle suggested that they step outside to continue, which they did.
Kyle resumed by recalling Susan’s words. “You were saying how shy you were back then. In my case, I wasn’t shy, but I was incredibly awkward around girls, and I had trouble when I started dating in my junior year. I never had a girl date me more than a couple of times. That left me so discouraged that I didn’t even try to date during my senior year. But in May, I did connect with a girl, and we dated each other all summer. But we broke up before school started in the fall.
“As for meeting other choir members, I didn’t have time to linger before or after class. I struggled to get to the choir room on time, because my previous class was so far away. And my next class was just as far. In fact, I only remember the other choir members who were in other classes with me.
“But I wonder what would’ve happened had we been able to introduce ourselves to each other.”
Susan said, “Seeing you now and remembering you from then, I wish I had taken the initiative to get to know you.”
Kyle asked, “Did you ever get married?”
“No, but later I did start dating a guy, and it began to get serious, but he moved away with his family before we were mature enough to consider marriage. How about you?”
“A similar thing happened to me. The young lady I was dating had to move away with her family just when I thought true love was beginning to develop. After that, I never found another ‘Ms. Right.’”
“Wow,” Susan said. “It seems our lives have paralleled each other’s very closely. I’m wondering, did fate bring us together today?”
Kyle said, “It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”
Susan just stood there for a moment, and finally said, “Kyle, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a connection that I’ve never experienced before.”
Then realizing that she had shared a very private and intimate feeling with him, she said, “I can’t imagine that I just said that! Please forgive me for being so forward.”
Kyle immediately responded, “Oh, there’s no need to apologize. I’m sort of feeling the same way.
“I tell you what, why don’t we continue our conversation at the coffee shop down the street?”
Susan was hesitant, but then said, “This is moving kind of fast, isn’t it?”
“We’re just having coffee,” Kyle said. “After we talk, I think we’ll each know whether this is just a onetime meeting or not.”
Susan agreed, and they went to the coffee shop.
As they sat across from each other, they couldn't help but feel a connection that they had never experienced before. There was something about the way they looked at each other, the way they spoke, that seemed to transcend the boundaries of their past.
As they continued to talk, they discovered that they had a lot in common. They both loved music, and they both had a deep appreciation for the arts. They shared a love of literature, and they found themselves lost in a conversation that lasted over two hours.
Finally, Kyle said, “Susan, I’m afraid that I have to bring this meeting to an end. I have a couple of chores that I really must get done today. Why don’t we meet here at the coffee shop again next Saturday?”
“I think I would really like that, Kyle.”
Kyle suggested, “How about 11:00? That way we can have some brunch and then can continue talking here or walk through the park, or whatever.”
“That sounds like a good plan,” Susan said.
Then they exchanged phone numbers, in case one of them had to cancel.
Over the next few weeks, Susan and Kyle began to spend every Saturday together. They would meet for coffee, or they would go for long walks in the park, talking about their dreams and aspirations.
Susan found herself opening up to Kyle in a way she had never done with anyone else. She felt safe and comfortable with him, and she found herself sharing things about her past that she had never told anyone before. Kyle, in turn, found himself drawn to Susan's quiet strength and her compassion.
As their relationship deepened, they would occasionally go to lunch or dinner during the week in addition to always meeting on Saturdays.
But one Saturday, Kyle was a no-show. Susan didn’t understand. She called his cell phone, but there was no answer. She also texted him, but there was no reply. She called and texted again that evening and on Sunday. Still no response.
Susan asked herself, “Why did he stand me up? Is he trying to break off our relationship? Or did something happen to him?”
She tried contacting him again on Monday morning with no response. Now she really wondered, “What’s going on?”
Finally, Kyle called Susan on Monday afternoon. She answered and said, “Kyle! I’ve been worried! What happened?”
“Susan,” he started, with some obvious weakness in his voice. “On my way to meet you Saturday, I was hit by another driver who ran a red light. I was knocked unconscious and taken to the hospital. That’s where I am now,” he said, pausing to catch his breath. “This morning, I was able to use my room phone to call into work and to ask a coworker to chase down my cell phone. It was here at the hospital all the time with my personal things, with the power off.”
“Oh, Honey!” Susan exclaimed. “Are you all right?”
“I think I am,” he said. “I had a concussion, but the doctor thinks I can go home on Wednesday. They ran an MRI this morning. I should get the results later today or early tomorrow.”
Susan got Kyle’s room number and went straight to the hospital after work to see him and went to see him again after work on Tuesday.
The doctor had told Kyle earlier on Tuesday that he would be released tomorrow and ordered him to take off work the rest of the week.
So, Susan volunteered to take Wednesday off from her job to take him home, since his car had been totaled. She stayed with him all day and brought what she needed to cook a large pot of chicken soup for their lunch and dinner, with still enough for his lunch on Thursday.
“Tomorrow,” she said, “I’m going to stop off and bring some hamburgers, French fries and ice cream for dinner.”
Kyle said, “That sounds great!”
“And on Friday evening,” she said, “we’ll go out to Bernardi’s for an Italian dinner.”
“But that one will be my treat,” he said. “And on Saturday, if you want, you can go with me to shop for a new car.”
Susan agreed.
So, the aftermath of the accident firmly cemented them as a couple.
Soon after, things returned to normal, and Kyle recalled their first meeting. “Susan, when we first met at the bookshop, we both were wondering if fate had brought us together. I think we were destined to meet each other.”
Susan responded, "I think so too," she whispered, reaching out to take his hand.
From that moment on, Susan and Kyle's lives became intertwined in a way that neither of them could have ever imagined. They supported each other through the challenges of their careers, they celebrated each other's successes, and they leaned on each other during difficult times.
As the months passed, their love for each other grew stronger. They got married, and they built a life together that was filled with laughter, adventure, and a deep sense of fulfillment. They traveled extensively, they pursued their passions, and they always made time for each other, no matter how busy their lives became.
As they grew older, they looked back on the day they had first met, marveling at the way their lives had been forever changed by that chance encounter. They knew that their connection was something special, and they were grateful for every moment they had shared together.
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This is a sweet, feel-good story about finding love later in life! The "missed connection" and choir reunion is a nice touch, and the way you built their connection through shared experiences and conversations is charming. The accident plot twist added some drama, though maybe it could be a bit less convenient for the story's progression. It's a classic romance setup, and you definitely hit the right emotional notes. Just a thought: maybe sprinkle in a bit more "showing" instead of "telling" to really let those feelings shine through. Overall, it's a heartwarming read. I'm more than eager to hear your thoughts and constructive review on my piece, as I strive to refine and elevate my writing further.
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You correctly pointed out very well that there should be less telling and more showing. My personal critics often tell me that I need more dialogue in my stories. I should have had more dialogue at the end rather than rushing to the happily ever after ending.
The accident was to introduce challenge, uncertainty and brief mystery to the relationship and to have “the aftermath of the accident firmly [cement] them as a couple.” I purposely omitted adding more characters in the story, realizing that they would slow down the pace. So, the accident provided conflict rather than introducing an antagonist to create problems.
Thank you for recognizing that they found “love later in life.” I failed to mention that they were in their forties. She is a little too old to consider having children, yet they still had decades to enjoy a happy life together.
I read your story. You have a gift for showing rather than telling.
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