A Cold Day....

A Cold Day…

It has started raining again. And it is bitterly cold. Looks like Delhi is heading towards a severe cold wave, with the night temperature plummeting to near zero. But why blame the weather, cold has become a part of my life.

The day I first talked to Renu was also cold like today. I had gone to the India Coffee House to escape the bitter cold that had descended on the Ridge—the famous half mile in Shimla where everyone congregates in the evening—and before I finished my coffee, I saw her entering and looking around for an empty table. Spotting me alone at a table, she came over and smilingly asked if she could join me. “Of course, you are welcome”, I said.

I knew she was also a trainee officer like me, though belonging to a different Service, and we were both attending the Advance management training Course at the Management Development Institute at Shimla. I had, however, never been introduced to her, though I knew her name was Renu. We did not know when and how the friendship between us grew from friendship to something more, eventually leading me to a stage where I decided to propose to her.

It was once again a bitterly cold day, which does happen sometimes when the winter season is on its way out. We were sitting on a bench on the Ridge wrapped in our overcoats.  I summoned all my courage and proposed to her. I was not prepared for her reaction, though I did expect that she might say that she needed more time to make up her mind. What happened was that she became sad and, after a silence of what appeared to me hours, said;

“Arun, can’t we just remain friends?”

“Of course, we can. And we are. But Renu, we can remain friends even after marriage, can’t we?”

“Please Arun, let us continue like this. Please, please!”

She was so insistent, and so pleading, that I had no option but to yield.

“Okay, if that is how you feel. I will not embarrass you again,”

“Please, Arun, don’t be angry with me. I care too much for you, and cannot see you being cross with me.”

“Oh, I know. I am not cross with you at all. I appreciate that you are being honest."

We rose and made our way back to the Officers' hostel. We made some contrived conversation but afterward lapsed into silence. We bade good night to each other which was as cold as the evening itself.

For the next two days, I avoided her. I could sense that she wanted to speak to me, but I always pretended that I had not seen her. I certainly missed the warmth of her company, but, I thought, there was no point in going on a path that would lead nowhere.

It was on the third day after my repulsed proposal that there was a knock on my door. It was after we had all retired to our rooms after dinner.  When I opened the door I found that it was Renu.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course. Come in. Be comfortable.”

“You are not too busy? Not studying? If you are I can go back.”

“No, no. I am not busy at all. You are always welcome whatever the time.”

She was silent for some time, with downcast eyes and I was waiting for her to say what was on her mind.

“Arun, I know that you were disappointed at my reaction to your proposal that day, but I want you to know that I do care for you as much as you care for me, but Arun,  there are reasons why I said we should not marry.”

“Oh, are there? And what are these reasons?”

She was again silent for a few minutes, and then said,

“Arun, without your knowledge, I had consulted an astrologer with your birth details and mine, and after a minute examination of both horoscopes, he said that our stars were not compatible and that we were not destined to live together, though we could continue to be good friends. He said very emphatically that marriage would end in disaster. This has scared me, and that is why I reacted the way I did when you proposed."

I was surprised. And also angry.

"Don't tell me you believe in all this mumbo-jumbo. These so-called fortune tellers and astrologers are there only to make money out of our credulity. I know that most people in India believe in the power of stars, but surely educated people like us should discard these notions. I do not think even for a moment that there is a pre-determined Fate that governs men. And if there is, I am ready to challenge it."

“I also think all this is not scientific. But the astrologer was so serious, and so strongly advised against marriage that I felt scared. Even now I am apprehensive.”

“Trust me, Renu, there is no way anyone can predict what is going to happen. We make our Fate, and we will prove your astrologer wrong. Just be with me and together we will write our Destiny."

My confidence had proved infectious. Her mood changed and she became once again the cheerful person she had always been.

Our training ended in October, and though our services were different we were lucky that we both were posted in Delhi. It was decided that the marriage would take place in the last week of December, in Mumbai where her parents lived.

We had returned to Delhi after the marriage festivities were over in Mumbai, and my overwhelming thought, which was shared by Renu, was that we were finally together, despite the grim warnings of the astrologer.

We had planned to spend New Year's Eve at a resort in Jaipur, a four-hour drive from Delhi, and then spend a week there. The morning of 31^st December was bitterly cold but we stuck to our schedule and left in our car at 6 in the morning. Barely twenty miles out of Delhi a thick fog started descending and soon it became difficult to drive. I thought it would be wise to park somewhere safe till the fog lifted, but before I could implement my wisdom there was a loud crash and then everything went black.

………………………….

I opened my eyes but did not recognize any of my surroundings. I found I was in a bed and could not move my limbs. I soon realized that I was in a hospital bed. Presently, a nurse appeared by my bedside and seeing that I was awake smiled at me. She made a call on her mobile and soon a doctor joined her. He greeted me and said he was happy that I had regained consciousness. I learned, by and by, that our car had banged into a stationary truck which I had not spotted due to fog. My inquiries about Renu elicited, in the beginning, vague replies, but later I learned that she had been more seriously injured and that soon had succumbed to her injuries.

The winter was soon over and the cold days had gone. But to me, every day is now a cold day. We had got married but had not been able to live together even for a week. I wonder if we had cheated the Fate or the Fate had cheated us.