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Sad

Come on Thomas by Pamela Clarke



Come on Thomas, tell me what happened.

Why?

Because I need to know.

Why? You are not part of it.

But I am Thomas. I am very involved.

I don’t think so.

But you could explain a bit.

I suppose I could, but I won’t. Not to anyone.

Are you frightened?

No.

Then why?

Because it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

So it went wrong?

I didn’t say that. I said it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

How was it supposed to be?

Not like that.

Was it a mistake?

No.

Then what changed?

It all changed.

Yes, it looks like that to me too.

But you weren’t there.

No, but I was there later Thomas. Do you remember?

Yes, I do remember.

I made you a cup of tea and you asked for two sugars.

I sometimes have three.

Does that depend on how big the cup is?

No. Sometimes I want three.

So do you remember what happened before I got there.

Yes.

You were upset when I got there.

Yes. It wasn’t supposed to be like that.

I know. So tell me how it was supposed to be.

Not like that.

So how was it supposed to be?

I needed to tell her. She wouldn’t listen.

Well, I’m listening now. What did you want to tell her?

But you aren’t her.

I know, but if you tell me what you wanted to say, that will help me understand why it happened.

I am sorry this makes you sad Thomas, but just try telling me what you wanted to say. It might help you to understand why it happened. It might help you.

I’m sorry Thomas, I couldn’t hear what you were saying. Here I have got some tissues, maybe wipe your eyes and have a little nose blow. Tears are a good way of getting rid of sadness.

I…I…just wanted to tell her.

What did you want to tell her?

I..I…wanted to tell her that now I am older, I should decide. I don’t need her to decide.

What was she deciding Thomas?

She decided everything.

So did that upset you Thomas?

At school I decide. I play games with my friends and my teachers. I decide what to eat for lunch. I decide when to go to the toilet. I decide what I want to paint. I decide whether I want to watch television. I decide whether I want to listen to a story. I decide whether to play with my friend.

You must have been very busy at school. Do you have lots of friends at school?

My friend is Danny. He is like me. Sometimes he gets angry too.

But he is a nice boy like you?

Yes, we always hold hands if we go out anywhere with the school. He is my friend. He makes me laugh.

He sounds a good friend, Thomas. Do you ever fight with Danny?

He spoilt my drawing once, so I pushed him over.

Was he hurt?

He cried and I got told off by Miss Angela.

Did you fight with him again, Thomas?

When he pushed my lunch on the floor I got cross.

And what did you do?

I pushed him.

Did he hurt himself?

He hit his head on the table, and there was blood. He showed me where they sewed him up, and he showed everyone. I wanted some sewing too.

Have you ever hurt anyone else Thomas?

Nooo…not really.

But there was another fight with someone?

No. I don’t fight. I just get cross when someone does something wrong.

So who did you get cross with?

She took some of my chips.

And what did you do Thomas?

I pushed her out of the way.

Did she fall?

Yes.

Did she hurt herself?

Only a little bit.

Do you know how big and strong you are now Thomas?

Yes. I’m much bigger than most other people.

Does that please you Thomas?

Yes.

Does it make you feel safe?

Yes. When I went to another school a boy would hit me. I didn’t like it. I don’t hit people.

But you do push them.

Only a bit.

So what happened with your mother Thomas?

She wouldn’t stop. She kept telling me to do things. She called me stupid. I know I’m not able to do some things, but I can decide things for my own.

So you got angry.

She tried to push me into the bathroom, but it wasn’t my bath time.

So I pushed her back.

I understand. You pushed her back, and she fell down the stairs.

I didn’t know she would do that. I did say sorry. I know I should say sorry.

So you went downstairs and said you were sorry.

Yes, but she was asleep. I think she was very tired. She didn’t wake up to give me tea. My auntie Norah came round to have tea with us, so I told her Mum was asleep.

Aunty Norah got me tea after some people came to put Mum in bed. Then you came.

Yes, I came.

When is Mum going to wake up? When can I say sorry?

I’m afraid your Mum got a bump on her head, and she won’t wake up.

Did I push her too hard? I want her to wake up. I need to say sorry. I don’t mind if she tells me what to do. I won’t do it again.

Listen to me Thomas. You have to go and stay somewhere else for a while.

I don’t want to. This is where I live. My bedroom is here. My Mum is here.

Your Mum isn’t here, so she can’t look after you and get you your meals and help you.

But where is she?

She has gone.

Where has she gone to? I want my Mum. I need to say sorry.

I’m afraid that’s not possible Thomas. Your Mum has gone.

When is she coming back? I want my Mum.

Hold my hand Thomas. That’s it. Now listen too me. Your Mum can’t come back. You pushed her too hard and she has gone. You will be looked after by someone else. You can still go to school and be friends with Danny, but you must never push people again. Pushing means you hurt them, and you hurt your Mum too much for her to come back.

I want my Mum to come back. I want my Mum. I WANT MY MUM. 

February 22, 2023 10:54

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1 comment

Timothy Rennels
22:37 Mar 01, 2023

What a chilling progression from vague to clear. Thomas was a bad boy!

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