Apotheotic Delirium

The engines gave a sputtering whine as Scarlett pulled up on the yoke. She gritted her teeth, clenching her hands as she forced the plane to climb above the majority of the clouds. Holding back tears, she looked to the unconscious body of her copilot in the seat to her right. 

The soft skin of his youthful face haunted her; if only she had not been forced to knock him out. He would have ruined everything, would have tried to call for help over the radio. She could not afford to allow him that opportunity, and yet, it seemed she did not need him to ruin things. She had done that perfectly fine all on her own. She always had.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, Semira. I’m a killer. I always have been, I’m sorry. You wasted your time trying to change that,” she whispered, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. 

As the engines shakily settled into a relatively smooth hum, she sighed, turning her eyes back to the somber expanse before her. Sparkling dimly, the moon scorned her, offering a fraction of light to shadow her fallacy.

The transparent outline of a young woman’s face danced on the edges of her vision. Her wild red hair blew around her, a halo of determination that sheltered her smooth porcelain skin. Plump cherry lips stood out, drawing the eyes to the brilliance of her joyful smile.

A broken smile shuddered on Scarlett’s own lips. “Happy Birthday, little sister. I know I turned my back on you, on what you wanted for me, and I’m sorry. I lost myself when I lost you. I should not have become a killer again, but I didn’t think I had a choice. I’m too scared to try being kind without you. I may be taking these people with me, but at least I won’t be able to kill ever again after this is done. Please, forgive me this one last time.”

Behind her, the door to the cockpit opened, revealing over two hundred passengers frozen in their seats. A young woman, one of the passengers, with hair as red as Semira’s and the same soft, azure eyes, clutched the doorframe. Her face paler than the purest white, she shakily whispered, while trying to avoid looking at Scarlett, “Why are you doing this? What did we ever do to you?”

Raucous shouts assaulted her ears as she wove through the army. As she ran, she lifted her pistol, shooting any who attempted to sneak up behind her comrades, unbeknownst to them. Up ahead, she saw the brilliant red of Semira’s hair flying in the breeze. Her younger sister stood directing the field medics as they bustled around the thousands of wounded.

Putting on a burst of speed, Scarlett made a beeline for her sister. When she had almost reached her, Semira turned, catching sight of her older sister. A smile flashed across her features, swiftly overtaken by a shadowed frown and furrowed brows. Scarlett rolled her eyes; her sister had always worried too much. None of the blood that spattered her body was hers. 

Semira’s eyes widened just as Scarlett drew up beside her. Finding herself thrown to the ground, Scarlett heard the fierce crack of gunfire, so close she felt her heart leap at the sound. Regaining her bearings, she twisted to look upwards, just in time to wish she hadn’t.

Semira’s body slammed into the dirt, dust clouds rising from the impact. A tall man, a fierce glint in his dark eyes, stood a few hundred yards back, his gun raised, the barrel still smoking. An unearthly wail sounded as her arm lifted and fired her pistol three times, each shot hitting the man’s chest within a fraction of an inch of the others.

Her mind still detached and feeling as if she was floating, Scarlett surged to her feet, dark impulses she had not felt for almost ten years flooding her thoughts. With a glance at Semira’s limp body, she surrendered to the darkness, mechanically reaching for the machine gun that was slung across her back. A feral grin spread across her face as she clenched her finger around the trigger, striding directly into the heart of the opposing army.

Scarlett’s voice broke as she responded. “You haven’t done anything; this isn’t even about you. Tonight is her birthday. It had to be you. You were my only flight today. This was a mistake. I-” She dropped her head, her black hair forming a thick curtain to hide her face. “I thought this was what I wanted. I thought doing this would fix everything, but I was wrong. I didn’t think this through. This isn’t what she would have wanted at all. You’re all innocent, and I’m so sorry that you’ve been dragged into my problems.”

The young woman’s face softened, even in her confusion, yet she still shook as she looked on the strength of Scarlett’s broken form. Scarlett’s eyes looked back to the forlorn sky. Semira gazed back at her from within the clouds, her light blue eyes large and glassy. 

“You’re the best big sister ever, Scarlett. You’re always so nice, and I want to be just like you when I’m older.”

As her sister looked away, she managed to choke out, “You should go. I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have. I wish I could save you all, but it’s too late now. We’re almost out of fuel, and there’s nothing I can do.”

The young woman hesitated before softly shutting the cockpit door, subsequently turning to look out the nearest window. Her heartbeat pulsed in her ears and throat, and her legs trembled, yet she remained near the cockpit. As she stood there, frozen, the night cloaked the plane’s erratic traversal in dull delight. She faintly heard the sound of a crestfallen melody from inside the cockpit. It rose to a shuddering crescendo as the plane dove downwards.

She stood a second longer before lunging to open the cockpit door once more. Scarlett spun, still singing her sorrows.

Their eyes met.

Semira gazed back at her through this young woman, her eyes half-lidded, concern clear in the way her mouth curved downwards.

Scarlett looked into Semira’s bright blue eyes as Semira shoved a piece of paper at her. “Look, big sis! I made this for you.”

Scarlett took the paper, tears welling up in her eyes as she saw the image of herself and Semira holding hands inside of a giant heart with the words, ‘Best Sister Friends Forever’ written sloppily at the top. 

Death laughed, suffocating the plane with horror. Scarlett glimpsed the passengers, many clutching each other as they fell through their final moments.

“Do you like it, sis? Do you?” 

Scarlett folded herself protectively around Semira as she hugged her, “It’s perfect, little sis. Absolutely perfect.”

Ecstasy enveloped her, for it would finally be over. 

Gunfire exploded, sending her heart into a frenzy. 

She closed her eyes, thankful for the lull of oblivion that would bring her home.

Semira’s sightless eyes pierced straight through her, accusing in the cold grasp of death. 

Scarlett scrambled free of the broken fuselage, the train of her skirt catching on the twisted metal. How she had managed to survive she did not know, and she cursed herself under her breath for yet another failure. Her chest heaved as she fled, darting through the trees to escape her destruction. The harsh emptiness of Semira’s eyes flashed before her again, pulling her into their depths, and her cheeks became drenched with mourning. 

Her pace increased, and she began to brush against the bark of the trees as she went by, not caring that her bare arms were soon blanketed by small cuts. Choked sobs escaped her, stealing what little breath she had left. 

Semira’s beaming smile filled her vision, so wide and innocent, and it took all she had to hold back from unleashing even more tears. Why had her sister been so stupid? Why jump in front of that bullet when her life was worth so much more? 

True kindness was such a rarity, and Semira had chosen to deprive the world of that. Of herself. 

And why would Semira make such a choice? Because of Scarlett’s own feeble attempts at kindness that had existed only for Semira’s benefit? She had no interest in kindness herself; she had only tried because of how Semira had begged.

“Please, Scarlett, you can’t continue being so cruel to everyone around you.”

“And why can’t I? People certainly don’t respect those who act like you. You’re too soft and nice to everyone, and how you aren’t walked over by every single person you meet is beyond me.”

“It’s called being a nice person, Scarlett, and it’s not the horrible thing you make it out to be.” 

“I know, Semira. I was that person once, remember? But unlike you, I was shown how being nice gains you nothing but ridicule and a reputation for being a pushover. People might not truly respect me, but they fear me enough to stay away, and that’s good enough for me.”

“Kindness earns respect because people appreciate being treated like people, not just pawns for your own personal goals. I love you, sis, but I won’t stand for your behavior anymore. Unless you try to change, try to be nicer, I don’t want anything to do with you. I’m sorry.”

As she reached the edge of the woods, Scarlett slowed to a stop, the glister of her tears dim in the diaphanous dawning. 

For ten years, she had done her best to be kind. Semira meant more to her than anything, and even though she’d hated herself the entire time, it had been worth it to see the vigorous glow that had surrounded her sister. The little sister that had still idolized her even though she didn’t deserve it, and hadn’t for years. Everything Semira did in those ten years had been so full of energy, so full of love, that it was worth the fear and misery Scarlett had been forced to endure. Semira had been beautiful to watch, and her sister was all Scarlett truly needed. She had never seen her little sister more alive or happier than she had been for those ten years, and that happiness had been the only thing keeping her from returning to the darkness sooner. 

She leaned against one of the trees to catch her breath, staring down the hill, ensnared by the fog rising off the glassy lake. 

Scarlett knew why Semira believed so much in kindness, after all, she had once too, in what now seemed a different life. Thankfully, her little sister had never been subjected to the things that she herself had as a child. And after being bullied for so long, for Scarlett, kindness was utterly pointless, and not worth the pain that came from it. Instead, to her, true strength came from actions that were considered immoral, even evil. They were the only way to be safe, even if that safety was bitterly lonely. 

With her sister gone, Scarlett had returned to the darkness. Yet, she still felt weak. She had failed her sister, turned her back on the only person who had ever cared for her. And now she had failed herself, too. By entertaining her sister, and trying to restrain herself for ten years, Scarlett could no longer stomach herself as she was. As she should be. Semira’s forced kindness had ruined her, for now she cared too much even when she knew she shouldn’t. When she never would have before. 

It was time to remedy that. Time to do what she should’ve done as soon as her sister died. It would not honor her sister’s sacrifice, not truly, but it was the best she could do at this point. 

She strode down the hillside, leaves swirling into the air as her tattered skirts brushed against them. Her legs shook with every step, but she forced herself to continue towards redemption, at least within herself. Although her sister, were she here, would stop her, alone, she was not strong enough. 

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“I believe in you, sister.”

Semira’s voice was so soft, it was almost a whisper, yet a lump still rose to block Scarlett’s throat as soon as her ears caught the faint phrase. 

“Oh, Semira, you shouldn’t believe in me. You were wrong, and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t prove you right.”

Reaching the bottom of the hill, she stared out at the still lake surface, clear and unblemished by naught but the reflection of the cloud-laden sky. Fitting that the sun scorned her even more so than the moon had the previous night. A bitter chuckle escaped her lips as she wiped away her final tears. 

Locking her eyes on the far edge of the lake, she stepped onto the smooth wooden dock, her runway to salvation. Her strides came reluctantly, as if she was walking through thick honey rather than atop wooden boards carpeted with crimson leaves. 

Scarlett forced her legs to carry her to the end of the dock, where she spun to look up the hill, back in the direction of her fallacy, of her slaughter.

A single ray of sunlight lanced down from behind the clouds, illuminating a spot at the top of the hill. Scarlett held back a sob as she saw her. Semira’s crystal blue eyes shone brightly in the radiant dawn. From a distance, it was as if they were pieces of the sky itself, and yet, up close, one would feel that they’d slighted their true beauty. Up close, those eyes were the rarest diamonds in the world. Pools of calming blue, Scarlett could get lost within their depths and never return.

      Bathed in the light of the rising sun, Semira gave off a brilliant radiance. A radiance akin to the halo of an angel. Her silken skin was so smooth that one would fear to touch her for no one would ever wish to mar her sweet purity. It was as if she was the image of true beauty immortalized in flesh. No matter how many years went by, and even in death, she never lost her radiance. Beauty had outdone itself.

Her teeth clenched as Scarlett shut her eyes, no longer able to look upon her sister. Her once orgulous figure sagged in the throes of inadequacy. There was no going back now. She leaned back, gradually tipping herself off balance, until she was near the correct angle. Hanging there, suspended in uncertainty, she gulped the crisp morning air. 

Perfect? She was never perfect, but Semira was. She always had been. And Scarlett had killed her. 

If she’d been a better person from the start, from birth, Semira might still be alive. Or at the very least their positions may have been reversed. 

The dark side of morality was the core of her being; it gave her a purpose, a reason to keep living. It protected her from the weakness she had fallen prey to as a young child. Yet, for the first time, she felt regret. And not just the sort that came from the desperation she had when her sister had threatened to cut ties completely. 

In hindsight, perhaps that would have been best. Both sisters would have gotten what they wanted then - Semira could live as a paragon of kindness, and she could engage in boundless evil without the barest hint of regret just like she had at the height of her career as an assassin. 

It would have been perfect, paradise even, for both of them. Not this hell that had left Semira dead, and her with no choice but to follow. There was freedom in killing, and in the moments just before and after a kill were the only times Scarlett had ever felt happy. The only times she truly enjoyed life. But now she couldn’t make a kill without seeing Semira’s disappointment. Kindness had destroyed all she lived for, had tarnished it beyond repair. That was probably her sister’s intention. 

A rueful smile spread on her lips. 

Moments later, she forced her eyes open, fixing them on the trees that disguised her worst decision. People had died for no reason; she had wasted over two hundred lives. And for what?

In the end, she had gained nothing from it. She couldn’t remember why she ever thought she would. 

It seemed Semira had been right all along. 

A scintilla of sunlight flashed above the treetops, stealing her final breath. 

Soundless, ‘Happy Birthday, little sis,’ died on her lips. 

A halcyonic trance seized her, and she let go, falling to the soft embrace of the orphic waters.