2 comments

Drama

My eyes roll heavenward as my mother prattles on endlessly about tonight’s charity event from the next room. I ponder strangling myself, but instead fight the silky material into submission between my fingers knotting a perfect Eldridge. Standing in front a full length looking glass I secure the collar. There. 

The downstairs door can be heard slamming shut, it can only be one person. Does he have to be so bloody loud? I roll my eyes once more, at this rate I may just eyeball the ceiling all night. Some call it childish, I call it unavoidable whilst in the company of insufferable people, such as my annoying brother. 

He’s the oldest, James, not that you could tell. Worlds apart with only a year difference in age. James is crass, boisterous and loud, while I remain austere, withdrawn and cold. No doubt most prefer the company of James to myself. Prejudice, maybe though I call it preferable. I despise the majority of people while detesting the lesser of people. Tonight’s gala is what my nightmares are made of. Promise is a promise. I intend to keep it. 

“Jeremiah!” My brother calls entering the room, loudly. 

I sigh in response.

“You’re really going? I can’t believe it. ”

 He chuckles jumping on my bed unceremoniously knocking pillows on the floor. 

“Put that back and yes, I’ve told you. I promised.” I tell him

“So?” He answers with a dismissive shrug

“So, I’m a man of my word.” I stress

“Better you than me, I hear the Carlisles will be there.” He relays

“Not intimidated by Topher and his dimwitted wife.” I say rolling my eyes. Again.

 Bollocks. A long night indeed.

“Funny, but I am referring to Charlie.” He deadpans 

“Charlotte,” I correct him. “ she hates when you call her that.”

“She loves me, it’s you she loathes.” 

“Yet, you avoid her.” 

I smirk knowingly.

“ I said she loves me , not that I return the sentiment.” He clarifies 

“Regardless, what are you doing here? No engagements tonight anticipating your beguiling charm?” I inquire 

“My engagements are later on brother, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity seeing you …” he trails off when the sound of mother’s heels fast approach us. 

“Jeremiah, are you ready?” Mother inquires crossing the threshold, her black evening gown spilling into the room. 

“ Oh , James!” She says spotting my bother in surprise. “Reconsidering attending tonight? I’m absolutely certain I can get you in.”

“No it’s Miah’s big night and I have previous engagements.” He tells her while throwing a wink at me.

“Pity.” I state. 

The limo pulls up the main doors promptly at ten o’clock. After careful calculations I surmise departing the soiree before midnight. Two hours of phony smiles and dodging clammy handshakes will earn me a migraine only a tumbler of whiskey can cure. You promised , I remind myself. I step out of the limo with ease and offer my mother a hand, the ever gallant man that I am. We walk painstakingly slow to accommodate for my mother’s heels that should be illegal for her age. Diamonds may be a woman’s best friend but for my mother, shoes have always been her love. 

Melodic notes from the quartet float the room upon entering the ballroom. Inwardly I curse at the number of people in attendance. Too many people. Clusters of wealthy people gathered clearly out of boredom chat each other up. My mother signals me towards non other than the Carlisles. Showtime.

“Helena, girlfriend! How are you?” Mrs. Dimwit addresses my mother. I refrain from rolling my eyes at her uncanny ability to further embarrass herself. This must be her newest fixation. Speaking twenty years her junior. Fantastic. A waiter weaves nearby, I manage to snag two drinks. I hand one to my mother before taking a healthy sip of my own. 

“Minnie, good to see you again.” My mother replies disingenuously 

Minnie begins a tale of woe to my mother who no doubt wishes to escape. I smirk behind my glass.

“ Jeremiah.” Mr. Carlisle greets 

“Topher.” I return 

He quirks an eyebrow at my answer. He always did hate me using his first name. Oh well. My rule of thumb is once a boy becomes a man he’s no longer indebted to calling other men Mr. anything. I revel in his annoyance. This night may not be all for naught anyway.

A soft voice announces behind me. “Hello Miah” 

I spoke too soon.

“Charlotte.” I deadpan 

Her eyes fall at my answer and a pout forms her sensual mouth. I silently curse myself at her reaction. I need respite from her close proximity, before I say or do anything further causing her to hate me more than she already does. More than I do myself. 

“Do excuse me, I see someone I need to speak with.” I apologize while making my retreat

“Liar.” She whispers 

I nearly trip at her words but continue the walk for the cigar lounge. Not being completely untruthful, there is someone I need to speak with. I just hadn’t laid eyes on him yet. I know he’s here, he’s always in attendance to these shindigs. I swing open the door to dim lighting and the pungent smell of earthy vapors. There, I spot him in the haze, lounging in a club chair without a care in the world. My cousin, Jasper.

“In need of a word Jas.” I request 

His eyes trail to mine void of concern only curiosity. 

“Sit , it can wait. I’m meeting someone, should be here soon.” He assures me

I take the closest seat available, not needing prying ears for this conversation. 

“Business or pleasure?” I ask

“Why can it never be both?” He answers easily

Puffing on his stogie entirely to spicy for my taste, he waves his hand to me.

“What is it?” He asks resigned

“Charlotte.” I mutter 

He blows out a wreath of smoke .

“Bad idea. Her old man’s about to lose everything.” He says

“I know.” I sigh.

“She hates you.” He reminds me

My eye twitches with annoyance, desperately wanting to roll heavenward. 

“I know.” I say

“If you were successful, she would sway you into keeping her father’s business alive. Despite the promises you made to the Italians. You would be a dead man.” He summarizes my demise

I nod my head as he continues.

“Meeting with Edoardo , finalizing fine print. By Monday morning the Carlisles will be destitute. Just as planned. Just as you orchestrated. No need for you to muddle it up because your desperately in love with her.”

“Anything you can tell me I’m not aware of?” I ask irritably 

His next words strike me dead. “Charlotte heard every word.” 

May 17, 2024 00:32

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2 comments

Steven Nimocks
20:34 May 23, 2024

This story is intriguing! It's well-written and immediately draws you in with the opening line. Jeremiah's voice is distinct - cynical, arrogant, and detached. Your story effectively uses actions and dialogue to reveal character traits and relationships, rather than relying on exposition. Good job of showing and not telling. Here are some suggestions to make a good story better since it appears you have the room to make any adjustments you care to pursue. The cliffhanger ending, while effective, feels abrupt. Adding a sentence or two to sho...

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Felicia Dobson
22:48 Jun 24, 2024

thank you very much for the insight!

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