A Year in Past and a Year in Future

Stacy was cooking pasta when she had a call. She usually didn't receive much calls but that day she was expecting one. Last year on 10th of October both her parents died. Her aunt asked her to stay with her but she wanted to stay close to her parents by living in her parents home. Stacy was already an adult by then so she could not be forced.

"I will be there by 11." Stacy's Aunt, Florence, said. Florence was Stacy's only living relative who lived two stations away in Danes. Florence loved her niece but her relations with her brother were not good. 15 years ago she had married a man of her choice who was not liked by her family. They grew distant from her and 10 years ago her husband died leaving her all by herself. Stacy was Florence's only living relative now.

"Okay." Stacy said into the phone and then she disconnected the phone. She hadn't been feeling well about anything since over a year. She wore a front but in reality she was very fragile. She was an adult but she was not. She every week forgot to do her laundry. All the rooms remained dusty ever since she started living there alone. Fridge never had enough food and neither did she had enough nutrition. 

To mark her parents death first death anniversary she had spend 13 hours cleaning her room and 5 other which she used quite less. First time since she started living there alone she entered her parents room dusting it while shedding tears. She did because she still wasn't ready to move on. Last year was a hole in her life. She hadn't lived it at all.

Last year was a hard year also for Florence. She was close to her Kevin, her brother. He was her step brother, 7 years older than her. She had met him when she was 2. Poor Florence wasn't loved much by her step mother, but she was baby sister to her brother. He was a very caring brother, a caring brother whom she had not talked to for over 14 years and the next news about him she got about was that he was dead. The hope to rejoin with him died too.

The door bell didn't work. Kevin was going to repair it on his next holiday but that never came. Florence knocked hard on the door. "I am coming!" Stacy shouted. She wondered what to wear. She had not desired to dress even once in the last year. But that day was special and so she put a lots of thought in everything.

The door opened and Stacy invited her aunt inside, "Please come in. What would you like? Tea, coffee?"

"Dear, you don't have to be formal with me. Have you been eating good? You don't look like you have been." Florence's face showed worry and love. Even Stacy could not miss that.

"I have been eating good Auntie. What about you? You look a little pale from last time. Please come inside." Stacy didn't hate her Aunt but she couldn't stop thinking that she wanted to take her away.

"I am the one who worries, dear." Florence said walking towards the Dining Room. Everything stayed same from last year. "Dear, are you okay?" It hurt for Florence to be able to do nothing for Stacy. She was really strong.

Stacy served Florence a cup of tea. "I am okay. Please don't grey your hair worrying about me. I'll be back in 15 minutes. We can leave after that." Saying that she disappeared though the staircase.

***

Stacy and Florence arrived at her parents grave. Stacy wore a white dress along with denim jacket and a pair of boots. She had picked that dress last fall with her mother. Florence wore a long brown coat, her hair tied in a tight knot. Holding their tears they together paid their respect to them. They both wanted to show themselves as strong, so the other could rely on them.

They parked their car near a Apple Garden. It wasn't a busy Garden. Stapes wasn't a famous city. Last year after burying Stacy's parents, Florence had brought her there. Stacy used to visit the Garden every fall but little she knew that the Garden held memories of Florence too.

Silence between them dominating over any other sound, they walked for a long time till Florence found a nice round apple. She offered her the apple. "When you were born your face was just as small and round." She gave her a small and caring smile. 

"I know it has been a whole year, but Auntie, I am still not ready to leave. There is just so much in that house that I can not bring myself to leave. A lots of promises, a lots of conversations we had there. I, I feel like they haven't left me yet. I feel like they are still there, in their room talking about me. I could never enter their room fearing they won't be there. They were not. They were not there." Stacy burst into tears. She had hold it for a year then. Finally when she had Florence by her side, she could not hold anymore.

Florence took immediately wrapped her arms around her. Her tears gave her strength. Strength to be her strength. She had yearned for a family for so long. Finally she could see one, finally someone she could care for.

They both stood there for a while till Stacy had wiped her last tears. Stacy took a step back and placed both her hands on her eyes. A few minutes after she removed them and smiled pretending nothing happened. She took the apple, "Really? My face was this small?"

Florence's smile grew died and her lines of worry became deeper. "Yes, exactly this small. I graduated high school when you were born. You were so cute I was ready to drop college to spend time with you. But Brother told me I can come back and play a lot with you. My college was far and when I finally came back, we had a fight. After that I never met neither him nor Miranda."

"Does it matter now? They left."

"You're right. It doesn't matter now. Once we were walking here, me and your father. My father worked far away in Welbourne. I used to always rant to him about how everybody left me. He used to say that I was addictive. If they hadn't left me then they would have stuck to me till I got annoyed. It sounded silly but that happened. I called him to apologize and he said it wasn't my fault. He said that he had got addicted to me. He told me you also are addictive. He asked me how he could not make you hate him."

"Hmm?"

"In short he is happy. He is happy that when you will grow old, you will remember him with a smile and that he won't be annoying you. That you won't be hating him. Right?"

"No way I can hate. Even if he had stucked with me and annoyed me."

"He is even more happy now." Florence looked at Stacy. She was the girl her brother had left behind, maybe for her. She looked forward to time they will spend next year in that yard, while Stacy replayed last year in her mind. The older one had lived that year in past while the younger one was gonna live it in future. It was a little sad how neither of the ladies were on time, but that's how they both lived, which was important.