Written In The Stars

The young girl only awoke because her head had slipped from its precarious perch on the window glass and bonked her in the arm. But now that she was awake she felt a sense of anxiety. Like a thousand butterflies swirling in her insides. What if she missed it again?

Her cheek was sticky from being smashed onto the glass and her arms were asleep. She knew she shouldn’t fall asleep again but she was oh-so-sleepy.

 “Little girls shouldn't be up this late.” That was what Daddy would say. But Daddy wasn’t here right now.

The little girl hummed a little ditty to keep her awake. Mama had said she needed to go to bed. That she’d get to see it next time. But the girl hadn’t listened. Some days she didn’t listen at all and she would get angry or sad but Mama wouldn’t be mad. She’d take the young girl up in her arms and whisper that it was alright. That she missed him too.

The little one felt her head slip again and she began tapping with her fingers on the window seal to keep her exhausted mind alert. Like Daddy used to teach her. Except he had her tap on other things. Like pianos and machine buttons and the little telescope he’d gotten her for her last birthday. The people with big cameras had told her she was such a special little girl. To be able to play piano like that and build things like that and see things like that. They said maybe she would be just like her Daddy someday. That made her happy.

The girl hopped off of her window seal to look at the clock again. It had to be soon, right? Not much longer. She almost ran into her models of planets. 

“They aren’t to scale of course, little bean,” Daddy had said when he hung them up. “But they’ll have to do. Until I can bring the moon down for you.” Then the girl would giggle. The clock showed it was late. But not as late as she’d thought. She’d have to wait some more. She did a lot of waiting now. The only light came from the glue on stars on her ceiling and the real stars outside. She liked the stars. They felt magical and safe. When she saw them she wasn’t scared about Daddy anymore.

“Bean, look at those stars,” Daddy would say. “You don’t have to worry. They’ll keep me safe.” Then Mama would give him her stern look but he would shrug and say that it was true.

The floorboards creaked outside of her door and the little girl held still. It was probably her uncle. He stayed with them now. Because Daddy had told his younger brother:

“Keep my girls safe, Rick.” Then Mama had put her hand on his shoulder and said to look out for himself. The footsteps walked away and the girl breathed again. She wondered if Uncle Rick would have sent her to bed or if he would have joined her by the window seal. Maybe he would have convinced Mama to come out of her room too and they could have waited together. 

That would have been fun. Uncle Rick could have helped her get the telescope out from her closet and they could have set it up and named all the star constellations and made up stories for them like Daddy did. He said that the three stars over the creek and by the tall house were really a constellation of stars mapping a trail of smoke that came from the Challenger that blew up years and years ago. The girl didn’t like that one.

She did have a model of the Millennium Falcon in her room though. She and Uncle Rick had made it when he first came to stay. He tried to name all the parts and tell her the reason it was built. He wasn’t very good at it but it was okay because Daddy could tell her later.

It was good that the window was so big or else she would have to open it and lean out. Then Mama would get very angry and never let her go to sleep on her own again. Everything in their house was big. The pool was big and the kitchen too. And the lawn was so fancy they had men with big cutters keep it trimmed. The people with cameras used to come and mess up the grass but after a while they went away.

Uncle Rick told her it was lucky she had such a nice house and that her parents had such good jobs. She knew that but sometimes she didn’t feel so lucky. She just wanted to be like all the other little girls at school but Daddy would say:

“I know, Bean. But some of us just can’t be ordinary. We gotta be extraordinary. I know you will be.” And then she would be happy that she was special. She would be just like her Daddy.

The child listened for the rustle of curtains or the creak of footsteps or the sound of Uncle Rick getting a late night snack. But nothing. They were going to bed on time. So it was just her. All she heard was the swaying of her planets. The whoosh of wind outside. The soft music that came from her little nightlight. 

Then her alarm went off. It was quiet of course but after all that waiting it felt like an alarm! It reminded her of when she watched the timer on TV. But that one was very loud. And after the alarm they all started cheering and Uncle Rick started laughing and Mama started crying and the young girl ran upstairs to look out her window (it hadn’t worked). But that was a long time ago and this was a different timer. 

So the girl ran to her closet. She couldn't figure out how to set her telescope up all on her own (she’d ask Daddy later) but she could use her little binoculars. She twisted the little knobs and sat down on her perch in the window seal. She had crammed all her blankies and pillows there so she felt like a little bird. Or like the moon. Peering up at the stars above.

Beeeeeep.

Almost time.

Beeeeeep.

The girl giggled in anticipation.

Beeeeep.

She huffed with annoyance and silenced the clock.

So soon. The night sky was dark save for the twinkle of stars. The moon was only a small sliver. She would be able to see it well.

“Don’t worry, Bean,” was the last thing Daddy told her before he left. “I’ll be back before you know it. And hey, maybe next time you’ll come with me.” Maybe. She would go to the stars for him.

That was when a streak of white crossed the sky. It moved over the black canvas like a streak of paint. The little one smiled and rested her forehead on the glass. She watched it sail across the sky. It was pretty really. She knew that some people might stay up late like her to see it. Because it wasn’t a shooting star. Anyway, those weren’t real. This was. It was pretty and bright. Like a boat or a plane or a…

Spaceship.

And someday it was going to bring her Daddy home. But for now, she was content to curl up in her blankets and sheets and watch the little star that was her Daddy fly across the sky. It wouldn’t land today. It was just orbiting around earth again. But close enough that she could see it. Giving her a sign that Daddy was okay. Just gone for a while. Her Daddy’s spaceship was still safe, and Daddy was still up there. He would have wanted her to see it. To see his sign.

His sign. Written in the stars.

The end.