Dinner For Two

At that moment, the doorbell rang. I glanced at my watch: five minutes to 7:00. Could he be here already? I thought.

I answered the door, and there he was: wearing a crisp white dress shirt, a navy blue tie that added a small touch of sophistication, and sleek, tailored dark navy trousers that complemented his polished, elegant black dress shoes. I guess I shouldn’t say I was surprised, though; I knew that he had a great sense of style, just like the rest of his family. The only difference was, at least he was humble about it. But his smile… That irresistible smile! He was actually happy to see me tonight.

For a moment, I was speechless, standing there in awe of how gorgeous Harrison looked. In the shop this morning, I kind of joked around, telling him that he didn’t need to get all suited up. The good thing was, he wasn’t wearing a suit, just a nice semi-formal dress shirt. I liked that he made an effort, so I knew my own efforts weren’t useless.

I was wearing my long-sleeved turtleneck red dress that Stephanie got me as a present last Christmas, my black pantyhose underneath and flats, a red rose in my hair. I wanted to dress up so that I could impress him. It seemed like we each had the same idea…

“Aren’t you gonna let me in?” He grinned.

“Right… Sorry.” I cleared my throat as I let him in, shutting the door afterward.

Grandma came to the living room and greeted him with a hug. “Hi there, handsome. You came pretty early.”

“I’m the punctual type,” he said as he shook hands with Grandma after a moment of hugging. “I wanted to have my second chance of making a good first impression on Yvonne, after everything that went down yesterday at our place.”

“It’s no worries, Harrison,” I reassured him. “I wanted to impress you, too. We’ll toast to second chances tonight.”

“Curious to know what you guys made tonight.” He followed me to the kitchen where he washed his hands. We also had our routine of washing our hands before we ate.

“Vonnie helped me make an appetizing pasta dish that I’m sure you’ll love.” Grandma smiled. “Along with some tiramisu for dessert.”

Harrison shrugged casually. “I’m all in. It’s not like I’ve got any allergies or food restrictions.”

I already knew that. “Well, thank God,” I said, giving a small sigh of relief. “Anyway, it’s just you and me for now at the dining table. Stephanie and Lilly are still at the shop for another hour, so they’ll join us later when they’re done. And after we eat, we can go into the living room and watch an episode of GH before you leave so that you give the food plenty of time to digest.” I smiled seductively.

He chuckled. “I’d love that.”

“Great.” Grandma gave a thumbs-up. “In that case, dinner is ready. Now that you’re here, Harrison, the night has officially started.”

He and I went to the dining room and sat across from each other as Grandma came in with our plates that I generously helped her make. Next step: impress him with my cooking.

“Wow…” His eyes widened at the plate of pasta carbonara as Grandma went out to get our cups for the wine. “Did you two make all this?”

“Impressed?” I replied, giving him a wink.

“Yeah, I…” He cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry. It’s just, all my life, I’ve been used to the idea of our house staff preparing our meals for us. I never knew that it’s possible for other people to make their own food without feeling the need to rely on others. And that came out wrong,”  he added with a wry smile.

“No, it’s okay.” I held his hand to reassure him. “I get what you mean. I’d been learning how to cook with my mom since I was—believe it or not—nine. It’s always been such a great experience for me.”

As Grandma returned with the two bottles of Pinot Noir and poured it into each of our glass cups, Harrison asked me, “So, your mom… Not to sound like a stalker, but I got to know a little more about her on your Instagram. She sounded like a remarkable woman. Wasn’t she?”

Grandma smiled and nodded in response at us as she left the dining room, leaving Harrison and me alone with each other. “She was,” I replied. “Truly one-of-a-kind. I’d give anything in the world to have just one more moment with her. Give her one more hug, tell her one more secret or funny story… Anything, really.”

Harrison held my hand for what appeared to be a moment, then he and I began to eat, savoring the pasta dish that Grandma and I worked hard to make. After taking a sip of  the wine, I said, “I don’t think you’re a stalker for looking through my Instagram. If anything, I thought I was a stalker when I was going through yours. What are the chances of that?” I chuckled.

“It’s all good, though.” He shrugged. “It means that we’re both interested in learning more about each other. There’s nothing wrong with that, is it?”

I shook my head. “No, and I should hope not. Was there anything in particular that you liked about my posts… Besides the ones about my mother?”

“Just that you look so much like her, especially in the way you smile.” It wasn’t the first time that people had told me I had my mother’s smile. The only thing I didn’t have were her eyes; hers were a light brown.

“I’ve been told that a lot,” I said. “And it’s true, though. She would tell me that I actually have my father’s eyes. She wouldn’t tell me much about him at all. The only things she’d ever tell me about him were the basic stuff I already know: he was 21 when I was born, so he’d be in his late 40s now. And he was very good-looking with those piercing blue eyes, so I got mine from him. He apparently wasn’t there for her when I was born. My grandmother, my aunt and other relatives on her side were there for her. She wasn’t alone, though, if that’s what you’re thinking… Just because he walked out on her and didn’t want anything more to do with her or me.”

He gave me a sympathetic glance, the same look that people would give me when I’d tell them I didn’t have a father. I’d either tell them that he wasn’t in the picture or he was dead. Both excuses would elicit sympathy from people to the point of giving them the opportunity to stop by the shop and buy our flowers.

“But haven’t you ever been just a teeny bit curious to know who he is, or at the very least, know if he’s still alive?” he asked. “And where he lives, assuming that he’s still alive?”

Those were good questions, but over the years, I’d learned not to preoccupy my mind with thoughts or ideas as to who my father could be. My mother would say very little about it, and if he’d ever been in contact with her—writing to her, emailing her and the like—she never once mentioned it, so I’d never know. Grandma wouldn’t say much about it, either, so I wasn’t sure if she ever knew whether or not my mother had been in contact with my father.

“I have a feeling he’s still out there somewhere,” I said, “probably just living his own life, doing whatever he feels like he’s accomplishing so far. I think my mother and I are the furthest thoughts from his mind right now.”

“Well, since your mom’s passing, haven’t you considered the possibility of Googling yourself, just to see?”

I had, actually, but I would often back out, thinking that I’d uncover scary or shocking information. Or anything that wasn’t of relevance to me. “To be honest, Harrison,” I said, “I’d feel a little scared. I mean, God only knows what I’d uncover. A criminal record on his end, maybe. I don’t know,” I added with a shrug. “I guess I don’t see myself as courageous enough to take that chance.”

He stared at me inquisitively, almost as if he was taking time to figure out who I really was. “What have you got to be afraid of? I’m sure that whatever it is you uncover about your father won’t be as intimidating as you’re making it out to be.”

“I just…” I sighed. “I don’t know. I guess whenever I’m ready, I’ll have my grandmother, Lilly, and Stephanie right by my side. I wouldn’t want to do this alone. For now, I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

He was still glancing at me. “Hey, it’s going to be okay.” He took my hand and held it for a while. “If it’s still bothering you so much, we don’t have to keep talking about it. Okay?”

“No, it’s fine.” I gave him a reassuring smile. “I liked talking about this. I haven’t had a steady male figure in my life in a very long time. I guess that’s why I wouldn’t consider myself to be the type of person who can make so much effort in a relationship, only for the other person to walk away.” As I said this, I began thinking about Jeremy, my ex who I’d broken up with shortly after my mother’s death.

“Has someone ever walked out on you?” Harrison asked as he took a sip of his drink.

I nodded. “Yeah… Well, I mean… I was actually the one who got away. I broke up with someone in my past.”

“Do you feel like talking about it now?”

As I was about to reply, Grandma returned to check on us and saw that we’d completely devoured the pasta, our plates now empty. She smiled, clearly impressed that the meal was enjoyable. “All good?” she asked, giving a thumbs-up.

“It was perfect, Grandma,” I replied. “Just perfect. Harrison and I would like a few minutes to let the food sink in before we can have the tiramisu.”

“I second that.” Harrison grinned.

“No problem! We still have some leftovers for Lilly and Stephanie. They’ll be back soon, so they won’t miss out on anything. You two just take your time. Unless you have to head back so soon, Mister?” She gave him a curious look.

“N-nah, I’m good. Really.” Harrison cleared his throat. “I told my family that I was out grabbing a bite with some friends. They always buy it, except when I tell them it’s Zach. We’re very close with the Russos, so they’d know if Zach and I ever made any plans to hang out together, and I wouldn’t want them to know I’m here with you guys. It’ll just make things totally awkward for us.”

“Understandable. I’ll leave you two alone.” Grandma left the dining room.

I glanced at him, a little amazed that he’d lie to his family for me, about me. Was he ashamed of me?

“What?” He noticed my expression.

“Are you trying to say that your family wouldn’t like it if you and I hung out with each other?” I asked.

“This was what I was telling you about earlier, Yvonne. You know how judgmental my family can be about who Jayna and I associate with. I still stand by what I said, I won’t let them treat you or your family like any less than you guys are just because you don’t come from money like us. I’ll make damn sure of it, so I won’t sugarcoat it for you by saying that my mom is this sweet, kind and awesome person because really, she’s not. It’s just an act that she pulls. You better have a back-up plan for how you plan to proceed with working for us without totally losing your shit.”

It was a fair piece of advice, but no matter what, I was going to stand my ground. “Don’t worry about us,” I assured him. “We have plans, lots of them, so don’t think the absolute worst yet, Harrison. Promise me?”

He thought about it for a moment, then sighed and said, “I promise you.” Then he and I exchanged pinkies with each other to keep the promise intact.

“Better.” I smiled, then we sat in silence, taking in the moment with each other. I still couldn’t believe Harrison Whalen was here in my house, having dinner with me, just the two of us together. I never would have imagined this would happen, but it did. I knew my mother would be proud; she was the one who always encouraged me to not be so afraid to open up to others. Since her passing and my subsequent break-up with Jeremy, I hadn’t found someone I could share all the exciting things with until I met Harrison, and somehow it became more naturally easy for me. I could open up to him like a book and he’d never judge me, even though I was the first one to judge him before getting to know him more intimately.

He took the last few sips of the wine before he said. “So… Penny for your thoughts?” He smiled gently.

I chuckled. “Yes. I was just about to tell you about my past break-up.”

“You still feel like sharing?”

“Why not? It’s not like I’ve got anything to hide.”

“Right.” He nodded. “So, what’s the story there?”

I had never talked about my break-up with Jeremy before, so I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before I could lay it all out on Harrison. “Well, to make a long and complicated story short, he and I broke up shortly after my mom’s death. And it was mostly my fault. I was the one who acted pretty cold and distant toward him, when he did absolutely nothing to deserve it.”

He was a great listener, sitting up in his chair to listen to my story. “Why do you feel like it was your fault?”

“Because I only pushed him away further. He and I had been together since high school, and it was always our dream to get married after college. I’m not sure which one of us came up with that fantasy first, but we went off to NYU together, where I studied Acting and he studied Accounting. He works as a financial accountant in New York, and he lives there now, so he and I hadn’t been in touch in a very long time since we called things off.

“Then I got the news about my mom, and I… I had no choice, Harrison. I needed to quit school. I couldn’t go on without her, and I knew I owed it to her to continue running the shop. I ended things with Jeremy because I wasn’t a big believer of long-distance relationships, and I wanted to put myself first instead of being constantly attached to him at the hip.”

He gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Yvonne,” he said softly.

I shrugged. “Ah, it’s okay. I made the decision to leave so that I could focus on the shop. I didn’t think that NYU was worth it for me anymore, so there was no point in me staying enrolled if my mom wasn’t around to see me fulfill her dreams that she’d courageously given up for me. Now I had to be the one to give up those dreams for her.” I gave a wistful smile. “Funny how life works, huh?”

“Yeah.” He nodded in understanding. “But I’m sure it was a pretty difficult choice for you to make. Wasn’t it?”

“It was, yeah.” I sighed poignantly. “That was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life, but I knew it was the right one. I could feel my mom’s spirit as I was thinking about what to do next, and it’s like I could hear her voice, so I never once doubted myself. I didn’t expect Jeremy to understand, though. He’s the type of person who’s, you know… A little on the clingy side, so to speak. He was dead-set on us attending NYU together and graduating at the same time so that we could ‘start our lives together’, his words. He didn’t understand how greatly my life had changed in an instant.”

“Was it an amicable break-up?”

I did my best to answer as truthfully as I could. “We would have little arguments with each other, just about petty things until they became not so petty. And like I said… I was the one who got away. I broke up with him, got away from New York, and guess who’s back in town again.” I pointed to myself for emphasis. “But when I ended things, I did my best to handle it like an adult. So, I guess you can say it was amicable, in that sense. Other than that…”

“Care to tell me what these ‘petty’ fights were about?” He smiled, and I shook my head in response.

“It’s too complicated. Maybe I’ll feel more comfortable sharing that some other time, when I see you again.”

“Ah, so you admit that you do wanna see me again, huh?” He grinned.

I nudged him playfully. “Ah, don’t get your hopes up too high, Whalen. The night hasn’t even ended yet. Are you ready for some dessert now?”

As if on cue, Grandma returned with two plates of tiramisu for both of us. “Did someone say desserts?”

“This girl right here.” Harrison wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I laughed, and for the first time, I felt comfortable enough to let him touch me. 

I didn’t want him to let me go. I wanted to embrace the warmth of his touch for a very long time.