The Light.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw the light, but it was scary.   Yeah, I felt the loving, but that could be a trick, like kidnappers using candy to get the kid in the van.  I’m no fool.  I’m staying here with my wife and kids.  They be acting weird around me, but not half as weird as that fucking light, man.  

      What you mean I should go back there and go into that motherfucking light, man?   What you out of your head?   You’re a medium.   Ok, I’m an extra-large.   So what?   You communicate with dead people?   So, another words you’re either a nut case or a scam artist.   Uh-uh.   I ain’t dead, yet.  You are a nut case. 

     Talk to someone else and see what happens?   Ok.   I take my phone outta my pocket and call, but my phone’s been acting weird lately and I may gotta open another account.  Piece of shit.  Go to someone in person and talk to them?   Hey, thief.  How ya doing?   This whack job here wants me to talk to you.   Someone I know, like who?  Find, let’s go to my fucking job on my fucking day off so I can say hi to someone.  What a great idea!!!   Might even take a drug test.   

*

    This idiot convinced me to do this.   Or maybe I’m the idiot for agreeing to this.  Who cares?   Get it done.   I refused to put on my suit, though.  Casual.  It’s my day off, so I’m wearing slacks and a t-shirt.   Sneakers, too.  I go in and see the secretary.   Actually, my old secretary.  She’s not old, but she’s known me for a while.   So, I walk up to her and say, “Hi, Kristy.   How are you?”   She keeps sitting at her chair working on another employee’s excel sheet. So, I try again, but louder and nothing happens.  “What?   Are you losing your hearing?”  

     No response.  Did I do something to piss her off?   “You’re feeling unappreciated, right?   Stay there, I know how you like your coffee.”  

     Then, me and the whack job walk down the street to Starbucks.   I look in my pants pocket and there’s nothing there.  Son-of-a-bitch!!   Must’ve left my fucking wallet at home.   So, I tell the whack job what happened, and she said actually agreed to pay for the coffee for my secretary if I placed the order.   So, I say, “excuse me,” since I see this guy is cleaning dishes in the back.  No response.  What’s going on today?   What, I got universal laryngitis?   “Hello?   I’d like to place an order.”   Then, the guy washes his hands and comes over, puts on gloves, and says, “Good morning, ma’am.   How can I help you?”  

     I say, “I’m over here and I’d like to place an order.”   The con artist smiles and asks the cashier if anyone is beside her and the cashier squints and says, “No”.   I must be on fucking candid camera or ridiculousness or something.   I smile, look up and see the security cameras.   I see the tv for the camera, too.  I see the cashier, the whack job, but I’m not there.   Could be special editing.   Technology nowadays. But, I’d need to.  I again ask this loser for coffee.   Again, nothing.   So, I head back and think of some bullshit to tell my secretary.   I go back and tell her, “Kristy, sorry, they were out of your flavor.   What else can I get for you, beautiful?   She kept typing on the computer.   I look up and look at the security cameras.   I look at the TVs and I ain’t there again.  Unless I’m dreaming.   That’s it.  Must be dreaming.  No pain in dreams, so I start punching myself, but I feel nothing.   Try doing other things like drinking water, pricking myself with a needle.  I feel nothing. 

    I ask the whack job what the fuck is going on.   She tells me I’m an Earth Bound.   Great, the whack job has total lost her mind.   So, I tell her if I had enough money, I could fly to the moon.  Then, I wouldn’t be Earth Bound.   The Whack Job chuckled.  And tries explaining Earth Bound has nothing to do with Earth.  It has to do with going into the white light.   She must totally gone whacko.  But, I do remember the bright light.  I want to stay with my family.  Want to stay with my family.  

     Then she said, “I know that, but your family’ll be okay.”  

     Doesn’t make sense.   I didn’t say that out loud.  

    “You’re in the Spirit World, but you’re an Earth Bound Spirit and I’ve come to rescue you.”

   Rescue me?   Rescue me from who?

“From not going into the white light.  If I can convince you to go into the light, you’ll be happier and will no longer be Earth Bound.”

    What, will I be Heaven Bound?

     “There is no Heaven.   There’s no Hell, either.  Well, some people think Earth is Hell, but that’s still up for debate.   The point is to go on into the light.   I know it’s scary, but it’s the best way forward.”  

    So, I allow her to direct me into this light.   It’s blinding, scary, but it feels like MDMA, alcohol, and cigarettes all rolled into one.   And, with her guidance, I go through it.  

     Dogs.   What’s there are my dead dogs.   They’re wagging their tails and jumping on me.   I feel their excitement, their unconditional love.   It feels nice, but I think to myself what about my wife, my kids, my living dogs, but I walk through and I can see them, but I’m not angry.   I’m at peace.  

       But , I go back to Kristy (And no, Christian scholars, she’s not a metaphor for Christ) and ask her what we do now.  Now I’ve gone through this light, now what?   

    “Now, we help other ghosts go into the light.”

     But, what about my family?

     “It’s not time for them to go into the light yet.”

    Right, but what will they do without me?

    “Now that you’ve gone through the light, you can hear anyone’s thoughts and prayers.  So, listen to their thoughts and prayers and help them, which you can do, now that you’re in the light.”  

     Time feels strange in the light.   Like, past, present, and future are metamorphosed into one implosion.   Best way I can explain in English.  

     But, I see everything.   My son sneaking a cigarette, my daughters getting married, my dogs being greeted by me when they pass, but we root for everyone here.  Friends and enemies, but it isn’t Heaven.   We’re just of a higher vibration, like when the ceiling fan goes fast and you can’t see the parts, but different somehow.