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Funny African American Fiction

"Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh, what a beautiful day." Skyler sings as she gets out of bed. Today is the start of her one-week spring vacation from her job. Skyler goes into the bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror. Her long light brown braids looked nice against her melba toast skin and hazel eyes. "What the heck!" She screamed. She saw a big pimple on her cheek. "Not cute." Skyler popped it. Puss oozed out. 

Skyler knelled down and tried to find a bandage from the cabinet under the sink. There was so much junk in there. She pulled out combs, toilet paper, scarves, old rollers, and a sneaker. "My sneaker, I have been looking for that." She couldn't find a bandage. Skyler bumped her head before she stood up again. "Ouch. I have to be more careful." Skyler grabbed a piece of toilet paper and dabbed puss off her face. "I look okay," She said. Skyler smelled her underarms. "Where did that stink come from?" She said. Skyler took off her pajamas and got into the shower. "Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh, what a beautiful day." She started singing again. Skyler picked up her bath sponge and put some body wash on it. She turned on the valve to hot water, but the water was cold. "Holy crap, it's cold!" Skyler screamed, jumping back. She turned the valve to cold, hoping it would be hot, but it was cold also. "Great, no hot water." Skyler quickly showered and got out. She grabbed a towel and dried off. She put on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, then entered her tiny kitchen. "Captain Crunch, yum." Skyler grabbed the box of cereal and a large bowl. She poured a lot of cereal into the bowl. "This is going to taste good!" She opened the refrigerator and grabbed the milk. She opened the carton and poured it. A small amount of milk came out. Skyler shrugged her shoulders and poured some water into it. "This is okay." She said, crunching the cereal. Skyler sat on her couch in front of the television in her living room and picked up the remote. She pushed the button on the remote, but the tv would not come on. "The batteries must be old. I have to do this old school. Skyler got up and tried to turn the tv on manually. "Still won't come on." The tv fell off the stand. "Oh hell no!" she exclaimed. She picked it up. "I don't believe this. The screen is shattered." Skyler put the tv back on the stand. "It was old anyways. I can buy a new one later." Skyler said in a cheerful voice. Skyler put on a pair of slide-on slippers, grabbed her small purse from a hook near the door, and walked out of her apartment. She entered her bag, pulled out her key, and then locked the door. Skyler walked downstairs to the sidewalk. She saw her old neighbor lady Ms. Duncan and her labrador Bob. He was off the leash and galloping quickly toward her. "Not today." She said, trying to run back to the stair, but Bob was fast. Bob jumped on her, knocking her down. Bob was on her, humping her leg hard. "No, Bob.Bad Dog." Ms. Duncan screamed. Skyler managed to stand up and push Bob off of her. Ms. Duncan put the leash on Bob. "I am so sorry Skyler." She said, struggling to control Bob. "You have to take Bob to obedience class," Skyler told her. "He is too much for you to handle."  

"I know, but I don't drive anymore." Skyler sighed. She didn't want to say what she was about to say, but Ms. Duncan needed help. " I will pay for it and take Bob on Saturdays." Ms. Duncan smiled big, showing all of her smoke-stained teeth. "Thank you so much, Skyler. You are such a sweet girl." Skyler looked down at Bob, and his tongue hung out of his mouth. "I will go online later today and enroll him in a class. I will call you." Skyler walked away. Why did she do that? Skyler thought. Skyler walked several blocks until she arrived at the park. Skyler walked in the grass and felt a nice breeze. She wished that she had a blanket. It was so lovely. Her face felt hot suddenly as a soccer ball hit her face.

Skyler screamed in pain. A boy that was eight years old ran up to her. "Sorry." Said the boy. "Michael Rogers," Skyler said, recognizing the boy. "Ms. Johnson." The boy said, shocked. "I didn't know you came to the park." Skyler picked up the ball. "You thought teachers stayed at the school when the students left?" The boy shrugged. "I don't know." Two twin boys came running up. "Hey, Ms. Johnson." They said in unison. "Are you boys enjoying your spring break?" She asked. "Yes." They both said at once. One of the twins dug into his nose. Kids always did that.

"Can we have our ball back?" Michael asked. Skyler moved back and kicked the ball to him. She instantly felt pain in her big toe, but Skyler didn't show it. The boys ran away back to the soccer area. She looked down and saw her toe bleeding. Skyler had had enough. The whole day was a disaster. She limped off the grass and started back to her apartment. What else can go wrong? She thought. It began to rain. "Why the heck did I ask." A car drove by and splashed Skyler. Dirty water ran down her face and on her clothes. She stood still for several seconds. 

"Skyler." She heard a male voice say. Skyler turned around to see her attractive tall new neighbor running up to her with an umbrella. "Here, get under the umbrella with me." He told her in a thick Spanish accent. "Thank you, Luis," Skyler told him. "Denada." He replied. Luis walked her back to her apartment. When they got to her door, she thanked him again. "I'm having a small party tonight with people in the building. I want to get to know everyone." Luis said, smiling. Skyler felt warm inside. "I would love for you to come." Skyler smiled back. "Sure, I would love to get to know you." She said out loud. "I mean. I will be there." Skyler said, embarrassed. Luis smiled. His smile is so beautiful against his brown skin, and his hair is curly. They stood and looked at each other for a moment.

"What time should I come?" Skyler asked. "Seven tonight," Luis told her.

"Okay, see you then." Luis smiled again and walked away. Skyler thought he looked perfect in his jeans, which fit him perfectly. Skyler took her key out and opened her door. Today was not the beautiful day she had hoped for, but tonight would be.

March 07, 2023 04:30

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2 comments

BRUCE MARTIN
03:57 Mar 22, 2023

Cute story. All's well that ends well, I suppose. By the way, just as an editorial comment, "puss" is spelled pus, and "knelled" is spelled either kneeled or knelt.

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Jeanine Rogers
20:42 Mar 22, 2023

Thank you for reading and for the corrections.

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