Diablo

Walking down the snowy mountains, the wind nearly blowing my hat down onto the path below me, my eyes beset another small drinking bar in the distance. I appreciate the quaint design of the exterior on this particular bar. I've been to quite a few with the poorest of upkeeps.

I don't know why I have such an urge to go into another one of these. Down amongst them otra vez. These past years, walking from place to place, it has all ended the same way. I end up the same wandering stranger I've been my entire time on this vile world.

Yet, I can't seem to stop myself. I'm already venturing out towards the bar. As horrible as my time has been here, I'm enamored by these people. Their histories, their lives, their environments, their practices. It all elicits such a...delightful, I believe is the term, sensation within this malformed head of mine.

I stop to the side of the entrance, where no one can pay any mind to my presence. I pull up the scarf I wrapped around the bottom half of my face, making sure it's secure before I enter. I adjust the goggles on my eyes as well, ensuring no part of me can grace any of their sight. As I look down at the rest of me, I overhear familiar loud sounds of joy coming from inside.

They all drink sorrows away. All have others to hold. All chat long into the night, null of fear. How it must feel to have such things. To do such things. One of many things in this world I seek to grasp.

Against the cold, strong winds, I walk to the door and swing it open. As I slam it behind my back, it happens as usual. The eyes in the room all lock onto me and my look. None of them know what to make of me. As usual, they will soon enough.

I hear their quiet talking, knowing it's all about me. They may question my look, but it seems better this way. At least for them. One of many hurting things I've gathered in my travels.

I sit down at one of the barstools, hearing the wood underneath make an unpleasant creak as I do. Some short male with long hair under his face asks me what drink I want. I sense wonder from their lips.

"Tequila." I tell them.

I find it an interesting, pleasant drink. One of the few from them I've managed to have. Wonder what they make it with. I keep my head down as he sets the drink beside me. I grab it, placing it close to my body.

I take slow sips, pulling my scarf down just enough to drink it with no notice. With so little to take joy with, I make every drop that I consume last. As I sit in shakes, I hear a fiery voice beside me.

"The cold a real bitch, ain't she?"

They let out a good cry of joy. I would have joy too, but any strong number of it died for me many steps ago. Sitting there in quiet, sipping the cold, crisp drink, I think they'll stop. They usually do out of fear.

"You have to be the heaviest dresser I ever saw! I don't recall seeing you around Pete's. You new to these parts?"

I choose to fill their wonder, despite what I know will come of it.

"Sometimes, I feel new to this whole world."

Another sharp cry of joy jumps from their throat as they slap my shoulder. I do not make a thing of it.

"You ain't standing alone on that!"

I don't move nor respond. They seem to sense my pain and stop the jests.

"What's your name, stranger?"

"Diablo."

"That's a unique name. Why'd your folks choose it?"

"They didn't."

"Ah, got it changed?" They let out another cry of joy. I take one last sip of the tequila and place the empty bottle to the side of me.

"It's the closest thing to a name I've gotten."

I wanted to talk to them. I really did. As much as it goes bad, my enamor for their way of living and stories from it all hasn't died. I wish it had, so what I feel now does not hurt as much as it does.

I turn my head towards them. They are female in appearance. Dressed similar to me. Has delightful looking hair of fire. I can sense the wonder from their gaze on seeing me.

"I've been called much. Monster, beast, inhuman, wretch, but one name I got a lot in the dry land of fire stuck for me. "Diablo." I have no clue as to its mean, but it has a delightful sound to it."

They look not sure of my response, or me as a being. Then again, the others did too.

"Huh. Name's Elba."

Elba reaches a hand to me. I sit and just look at it. I don't understand what they are doing or trying. Elba drops their hand quick in response to my stare.

"Where do you come from, Diablo?"

I feel their eyes on me. This time, though, it feels new in some way.

"You wish to know?"

"If you're...comfortable."

"I don't know. My first memory is in a dark cavern. There's two others with me. They have equipment with them scattered around. They run as I get my bearings."

"A...cavern? Two others? What the hell were you doing in there?"

"I don't know. I don't know why there. I don't know who they were. I don't know what I am. What I know is after that, I ventured into the world and felt great enamor at everything around me. I saw so much, felt so much, and heard so much that gave me joy. Those early moments of my being, were among the best."

I could see in their face they do not understand what I'm going on about. I also see, however, a deep wonder. A wonder that gives perhaps the same delight within as it does for me. Seeing this, I choose to keep talking.

"Then, one of them saw me out in the dry landscape and hurt me."

"Hurt you how?"

"I believe it was...something called a gun. I have seen many of them. That was the only time I was hit with one. Whatever it was, it hurt so much. A burn in my side, but not like the sun's burn against my hide. It was the first time of many I felt pain from them."

Their eyes grew big.

"Holy shit...what did you do then?"

"I felt something in my side. A small, shiny piece was in me. I pulled it out and kept on. That's when I found it."

"Found what?"

"My enamor with them. Their ways, their speech, their stories, their living. Any chance I got, I saw all I could."

"When you say them, who do you mean, Diablo?"

I point my wrapped hand to Elba, not too far for them to make out the shape of my arm.

"Ones...como tu."

They do not look as if they understand what I exactly said, but they nod. Their wonder about me is still strong. I fear what comes when this settles, but this content I have not felt in a while. I'll have this joy in the time I can.

"What happened over there?"

"They screamed. Otra vez and otra vez, they screamed. I had to run from them. It became a...."

I pause, not knowing any word for it. As much as I have obtained, it's not as many as it looks others have.

"Pattern?"

I nod, in trust of their word.

"I go into a town. I settle away from them. I take in what they have. They find me. I run. Then it happens otra vez."

Elba grabs my arm. Not in the way I have been used to. Not in a way that gives me pain.

"Do you have no home, Diablo?"

I hear a sharp sound of joy, different from Elba.

"Christ, is this fellow your pet now, Elbs?"

I turn my head, seeing the male with the hair below his face otra vez.

"Shut your crusty mouth, Dan, or I may well make YOU my pet!"

Others around hear, and let out loud sounds of joy. Elba turns her eyes back to me.

"Pay no mind to Dan, he's just got an incurable case of being an asshat. Quite common in my day to day. Sounds like it may be for you too."

I nod, not quite understanding what Elba is saying. I feel nice around them though. It only hurts me more, knowing what I am.

"Tell me about you."

I don't know why I tell Elba this. Out of this fire in me, it just comes out.

"Well, I was born in California. Went to school. Got my diploma from Palo Alto high school. Encountered some jerks along the way, like yourself. Then when I was 21, I saved up enough money to move to a small home just outside of town here in Oregon. Now I'm busting my ass at this piece of shit customer service company just trying to get by."

What joy I feel in this enamor for Elba, as they tell me their life in their own way.

"I can't imagine what you seem to have gone through, though."

I choose to talk further with Elba on their desire.

"What do you want to do?"

"Truthfully? I don't fucking know right now. All that comes to mind is to leave my crappy job and go to France one day. They have such lovely history, places, and culture there! I want to see Napoleon's tomb!"

"Who is..."

Their eyes grew big again.

"He's one of the most famous generals in history! He basically lived the life of a king! One that most men, hell, anybody, could only dream of!"

Ah, seeing Elba with such joy now. To see them with that same enamor for this world as me, without the fear of being what they are. Oh, to live the life they and others do...

"Say, Diablo, if you have nowhere to go, why don't you crash with me?"

"What do you..."

"Stay with me for tonight. Then maybe we can figure something out for you."

"I do not..."

Elba gets up and slaps my back.

"Come on, let's go!"

I get up slow from the barstool.

"Hey, bud!" I stand still as chin haired man yells out.

"You need to pay for that bottle of tequila!"

Elba throws money at the spot where I sat.

"Don't sweat nothing, Diablo! Drink's on me! Let's go!"

As I leave the bar slow, I feel the eyes of tense wonder on me otra vez. I walk out the door, and see Elba on some kind of slim car.

"Ah, shit, I don't know if you can fit on this...you can try to just grab my back and sit behind me on this!"

"No. I walk fast. I will follow."

"Are you sure? It's negative a million out here, I wouldn't want to walk in this weather!

"I will be fine."

Elba slams her leg down on the step of...whatever this is. The sound of a motor rings out.

"I'll meet you there, Diablo! Don't worry, I'm not that far from here! I'll go as slow as I can! Just keep up with me!"

As she takes off slow, and starts to fade in the distance, I stand in the cold in conflict. I don't want this to end the way I know it will. With me running, them in fear.

Elba is so nice. I want to be with them. I feel...safe with them. Out of a want to not be alone now, I follow slow behind them.

A good number of steps ahead, I reach the home of Elba. It sits on a hill. I see the slim car of theirs outside the door. I walk up, tap on the door, and see Elba open the door in front of me.

"Alright, you made it! Go on in, make yourself comfortable!"

I step into the room and feel a great joy come over me. I can not grab any memory of the last time I was in one of their homes like this. It feels and looks delightful.

"I know it's not luxurious, but it's home!"

I step back. A horrible fear is within me now. Elba is so pleasant, I don't want to-

"Hey, why don't you take off all that clothing, since we're out of the damn blizzard out there!"

I back up to the door, I want to get out now. I know how this is going to go. I will have to run again.

Elba comes up to me. They start removing my hat and goggles, pulling down my scarf. I should run, but fear makes me stand stiff.

"Let me get those off for you, Diab-"

Elba sees my monstrous face. They scream. As they all do. They fall to the floor and crawl away from me.

I will not run this time. I have done that too much now, just for nothing. I see this world is not for me.

I stand there, seeing Elba with a gun to me. Water drips from my eyes. I have not felt that before. Seen it a few times from them. At least I can know how it feels before I leave this place. The world I was not meant to have. With those como Elba...I was not meant to...

Why am I not dead?

I see Elba standing there, shaking. They lower the gun.

"What the hell kind of creature are you?!"

Through the water in my eyes, I tell them.

"I don't know..."

They raise the gun back up. They should have killed me now. I do not know why they have not.

"I....I..."

Elba shakes with the gun in their hand. I stand there, looking at them.

They drop the gun to the floor.

"I guess this explains a lot."

They...did not kill me.

"Are you not....going to..."

"I'm...I'm sorry. I just....I wasn't expecting....this."

Elba slowly walks up to me.

"Oh my Lord....you are incredible. How are you so...and so..."

They can't get words out, como me.

"I...I didn't know what to make of what you....but now I..."

"You better just kill me. I know the world does not want me. None of them do. Not like I want to be."

Elba....grabs my hand.

"I'm so sorry."

I back away from them and walk to the door. I think I'll let the cold kill me now.

"Wait..."

I turn my head to face Elba.

"There are a lot of people who won't accept you, won't understand what you are. Honestly, I'm not sure if any would..."

I turn away and open the door to the cold.

"...but, Diablo..."

I turn once more to them.

"Maybe...I can. If you'll let me."

Is this what they call a dream? I did not hear that. I stand there in quiet as Elba walks up to me.

They reach behind and push the door closed.

Elba holds me.

Water drips from my eyes otra vez.

With no fear in me, I put my arms around Elba; one of them.