A Life Beyond

How did we end up here again Thuku, asked George? I remember you were piloting the plane with some map, people chanting and you promised we will be in paradise. Then I think we fell and now you are telling me I slept for five days. You have no idea where we are am hungry, they are hungry too. Why are you still sleeping Thuku, wake up and tell us?

Why me, How now? I have tried all sides. I have begged, made bets, tried stealing, and looked for a job but in vain. I have wiped, pushed out, sidelined, trash spoke, my family left me, and now I can’t take it. It is time for me to die, I am not wanted and am getting too old. The old man in tattered clothes cried out as he walked to the ocean shore and into the water.

Hey you there, why are you walking in the wrong direction, please come back or you will die shouted Thuku to the old man. Please let’s go back to the other side. Leave me alone! And mind your own business, my time is mine alone, yours will come later at the right time. Let me die, I want to die now. Thuku reached out and dragged the old man to the shore. I can’t leave you alone,” Your time is also my time which is everyone’s time. I came here because I wanted to think about what life has to do with me. I have everything but still, I feel nothing. I have a family, a good loving wife a job to keep me going, and my children performing well in school but still, I feel nothing. I came to end in my life and I felt with the little saving I have kept in the bank my family will be covered for another month.

Wait a minute there, is that you, Jimmy, Time flies a lot. Why are covered with dirt, torn clothes sad face and you were just walking towards the ocean before me? I came here to die alone, just look at me smartly dressed, good-looking, and holding a cigar. Just my look and everyone will see and mistake me for a person with the best life and have the world chasing after me. I have been walking here to the shore almost every day and today was that day, I take my life.

Jimmy to tell you the truth all my life I have been looking up to you. I remember you being so cheerful, dancing as you walked the streets, telling people stories of what made you be who you. You remember the scooter shoes, sleek dive, and shiny shoes. You were and still have been the talk of the town. You made me the person I am today by applying a facelift to me and a lot more. My life was just the way I dreamed it to be but now I feel nothing.

By the way, Jimmy let me ask you. Thuku looks around him and realized he was all alone again. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy shouted Thuku. Where are you, we haven’t finished our conversation yet. Looking to the shore again he sees Jimmy nearly fully submerged and without wasting time rushing to rescue him again.

Thuku finally pulls Jimmy out of the water again but this time he was breathing slowly. Dear Lord what are you trying to do Jimmy please stop you cannot die without having to know what your life stands for. I came here to die and now I find myself rescuing you twice. I should and have been there walking down but I don’t know why I am holding you up and giving you a facelift also. I Thuku came here to die. I, I, I, and not we or maybe I am dreaming.

What is wrong with you child you came to die then die. Why are you clinging to my life? What I have gone through all my life you can’t imagine. You know a portion of my life but you don’t seem to see that I have suffered. My scorched body, wrinkled hands, tattered clothes, bear wounded feet. Every day eating leftovers, dogs barking back at me, police sirens everywhere. Fighting for space with hustlers and beggars. It is just painful and I can’t go back into that again Thuku. Jeez that’s pretty tense Jimmy but I believe God is always up to something and I am always reminded by my family that it is very amazing. The Bible says For I know the plans I have in store for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. I don’t know much but this much I do with my family.

Do you know when I came here down to the shore I came because I didn’t know what I am doing? I got a family, a job, and a wonderful family. I mean a Godly family. But each day I go out and walk the streets I feel nothing. I have tried reading books, going to church, watching tv, and talking to my family. I have just tried everything but all I felt is hollow every time I came to the shore, the ocean could calm me and I felt I needed to walk into the ocean. Jimmy to tell you the truth I have tried five times walking down to the shores. Today is the day I went a little further but little didn’t I know I will bump into my mentor. You Jimmy, my life is because of you but I feel I am missing something. Something I can’t understand where what, why, me here, you there, the shore, the ocean, your life my life. Arrrghhh! Am so angry that you can have everything you wanted in life but still feel nothing.

For the last time Thuku, shut up and stop yapping about your life. I came here to die to walk back to the ocean and die. I don’t have a life or a life to look back to your memories, those are yours and not my memories. I remember that quote saying life moves pretty fast and if one doesn’t stop and look around once in a while one would miss it. Mine has already passed and I believe yours still has time. Thuku go be with your family they need you and that hole that you have can only be filled not by looking around but by focusing on them and making sure the sand doesn’t come biting back at you. Be strong and don’t be like me, don’t wish or make I wish put everything in God with prayers. I would have wished to live more and walk your road but my chapter is ending.

Hey, you wake up how do you do it? I can’t imagine you Thuku walking more than 20 km in the middle of nowhere without food and water. Look how hot the sun is. We are suffering after taking a wrong detour and ended up in some desert. We have been searching for you for more than 3 hours to no avail. Do you know what amazes us more, you sleepwalked, and if am not wrong thinking about Jimmy your mentor who saved you from making the biggest mistake of your life. Funny enough we found you because you kept shouting his name Jimmy! Jimmy! don’t  go. Please come back explained Peter.

It’s been 10 years and you still dream and relive the same story all over again. Please be careful you don’t fall in to coma and forget us. Jimmy was a great guy and a person to be remembered on and on. It’s time for you to come back to reality where real struggle are, the life beyond is not for us alone but for you also. We have no water, no trees to hide away from the sun, no food to eat to the full. Everyday a portion share to last us a day. Let’s walk together and rebuild our life from dusk to dawn we have another day to keep on living.

           Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.