Love Drought

She kept hearing Kanye West's "Love Lockdown" in her head. Sparrow broke her leg coming down a set of stairs while walking her dog. She had been talking to this really fun guy right before that and things were heating up when they would chat. Sparrow liked sex but never put out early, in fact she had promised herself that things would be different with this guy. She had rushed in with her last relationship which ended up being more of a "situationship" as the kids liked to call it and kept kicking herself. In fact she had told herself she was going to abstain and not fall head over heels for this new guy named Tucker.

She had met him online and at first thought it might not be a serious thing but there was something about him. They had become fast friends on Instagram sending reels back & forth, messages, memes, and sexy text messages too. Sparrow was afraid to meet him because they were complete opposites. Tucker was well traveled, a successful business owner, a man who was good to people around him, had a wicked sense of humor, but had that, I don't give a f*ck about anything, Adam Driver kind of vibe about him. Sparrow on the other hand had traveled a bit but had never lived abroad anywhere or traveled on her own, she was working on a degree in women's and gender studies and constantly had her head in a book, she had a big heart that often got her into trouble, and was a people pleaser with a tiny side of sass.

Before she broke her leg she kept constantly going back and forth about meeting him. It wouldn't just be a meetup...they had gone back and forth over the last few months and if she met him, it would probably be more. Right before she fell, they had plans to meet and after making him wait months to meet her, this was going to be it. Little did she know the universe had other plans, she broke a few large bones in her leg and needed surgery, would have to be in an air cast for months, and would need physio therapy later on. When she messaged him to tell him what happened, she figured that would be it, he would want to stop chatting, and wouldn't want to meet her. After all he had already been chatting with her for months, before they had even had a chance to meet. She pressed send on the message and waited for a reply to take care of herself or something like that. She figured at most things would fizzle out after a few polite get well type conversations.

Sparrow was wrong, he sent her a super empathetic message but would also message her to check-in on her, still send his funny and sexy reels and memes over, they would have their fun conversations, and if anything she felt more bonded to him. When he got sick with a bad cold and as they headed closer to December holidays, she ordered him some goodies and sent them through the mail to him. She had never even met him and had never done anything like that before! Little miss independent who had always held her own, who had worked multiple gigs at once, felt close to this man whom she hadn't even met yet. She felt some type of way about him.

As she started to get closer to recovery, she was feeling all kinds of things for him. Sparrow hated to admit it but she kept hoping he would say something to turn her off, but his wicked and cheeky conversations just made her want him more. The self imposed abstinence program she had put herself in, had now become mandatory because of her injury and now she was feeling hot and bothered all the time. She had, had no idea what "Love Lockdown" was about before but she was feeling it now. Sparrow could swear she could feel the ache to touch him every where, maybe even in her bones. She thought that the feeling of desire might swallow her. It felt all consuming and she went back and forth between being mad at herself for it and laughing at her madness.

Could it be possible to really feel this way? She had tried everything to throw Tucker off her path. Sparrow would tell him that she was nothing like the other women he had dated, that she was short and too curvy for him, that she wanted a family eventually and he didn't. Every time she tried to shake him off he would come back with a way that always surprised her. He would say things like " a man wants someone supportive not something exciting that becomes drama" or things like "everything is on the table, who said I didn't want those things?". She would automatically melt and would feel her face growing red. He had called her on the phone a few times too and his voice was so nice, it made her feel happy every time she heard it. She would melt and just wanted him so badly. The thought of him would drive her crazy. She had even started telling him this and opening up to him in ways she never had with any other man. Sparrow was constantly embarrassed but those conversations didn't shake him off either.

As Sparrow got a little closer to healing and probably closer to meeting him, she kept wondering how it would go. She liked his face and kept imaging his mouth on hers, his hands on her body, and then she would snap herself out of it. She would felt a tiny bit crazy and would tell herself it was not normal to have these feelings, that she would probably for really scare him off. He had been patient but would maybe think she was too much. The lockdown was coming to an end shortly and Sparrow kept telling herself she would either have to snap out of it or just take the risk and let things happen however they were supposed to. Would it just be a hookup or would it be something real, she didn't know but hell was she excited to find out! Maybe this love drought was about to really end, maybe it would be like a monsoon of hot steamy rain. All Sparrow knew was that she was about to be free from the lockdown and she was pretty sure she could see fireworks written in her future.