Content warning: domestic abuse
“Don’t forget to change the clocks on Saturday night,” Betsy said. “I’m so ready for spring.”
Betsy and Sue stood outside the grocery store parking lot. "You know what that means," Sue said. "Planting season is right around the corner. Soon that’s all our husbands will be talking about."
Betsy nodded and smiled. “It also means it's time to start thinking about summer plans," she said. "I thought about it long and hard but decided Katy is still young for overnight camp. Paul loves camp Halayapaka though, and Katy will be ready next year. She is going to go to art camp instead. What about your kids? Are they big enough for camp yet?”
“Not quite,” Sue said, looking away. She and Hank were on a tight budget. Her children would spend the whole summer helping out around the farm.
“Well, so long neighbor,” Betsy said. They lived next door to each other but for farm families that meant half a mile.
Betsy dashed to her Lincoln Navigator and Sue watched her drive away. Sue had to admit she was jealous of Betsy. Betsy's husband Mark’s farm seemed to be doing so much better than her husband Hank’s. Betsy never outright bragged. Yet every time they bumped into each other she dropped hints about how much money she had. Or was Sue reading into it too much?
*****
Sue reminded Hank about the time change that evening. “I’m looking to make another early start for planting this year,” he said. "It will pay off, I promise it will. I know what you said but I’m telling you, last year was bad luck. It won’t happen again.”
Sue stood up from her chair by the kitchen table and walked to the living room. “I’ve made myself known on this issue,” she muttered over her shoulder.
Last year’s decision had been disastrous. Hank had always struggled with his yield, no matter how hard he tried. Over the years, he saw other farmers planting earlier than him. Then they would brag about their outsized harvests in the fall. So last spring he went all out, planting in early April, before any of the other farms in the county. He had been sure that the soil was warm enough to lay down his seeds, but he was wrong. Much of the corn didn’t emerge. Hank tried to make up for it by reseeding but could not undo the damage. His harvest was weak. The farm lost money and the family had to dip into savings. Sue wanted an ordinary harvest this year, not another roller coaster ride.
After the children were both sound asleep, Sue and Hank spoke as they got ready for bed. “Please don't plant early. again,” she said while brushing her hair. “We need to play it safe.”
“I know I can make up for last year with a bigger crop this time around,” Hank said.
The brush made a loud cracking sound as Sue slammed it with all her force against the dressed. Shocked by her own angry burst, she held the brush up to look at it, and saw a fracture across its spine. This was unlike her. She was a calm wife. She must have so much pent up anger about Hank’s bad decisions that they boiled over.
Hank stared at her with his eyes wide open. He clenched his first and took a step towards her. In a moment, Sue thought he might actually hit her. But he froze, stopped and kept staring. That made more sense. Hank was a meek man. Sue had heard whispers about men from church getting drunk and hitting their wives. She couldn’t relate. Hank was also a little man. Sue outweighed him by 30 pounds. If they had a physical altercation she doubted he could win. The thought of him attacking her struck her as absurd. She felt an almost irresistible urge to start laughing, but she suppressed it.
Then Hank sat down on the bed, put his hands in face, and wept. Sue had seen him cry before, but never like this. “I don’t know what to do,” he gasped between sobs. “Sometimes my momma used to talk back to my daddy, and he would have to whip her. I never thought I’d have to do that to you, I love you so much. I don’t know how to handle it when you back talk to me.”
“There there, honey,” Sue said. “Everything will be alright.I promise.” She cradled him like a baby, and stroked his face. He put his head in her lap and cried until he fell asleep.
*****
Later that week, Sue met with Donna, the wife of the pastor and the leader of the church’s women’s group. Sue confided about what had gone on between her and Hank. She had been worrying sick about it.
“The bible teaches us that the husband is the master of the household, and the wife must always obey him,” Donna said.
“I know that,” Sue said. “But it’s hard. I see him making such terrible mistakes.” Sue's parents had raised her in the church. So had Hank's. Neither of them had ever strayed. Hank asked for Sue's opinions and she gave them, but the final decisions were his. They both understood that.
“The answer, as always, is prayer,” Donna said. “Put your faith into God. We can’t understand His ways, but we know they are perfect. Let us pray together.”
The two women held hands, and bowed their heads while Donna prayed. “Dear God, please grant Hank the wisdom to guide his family to happiness and prosperity.”
*****
That night, Sue apologized to Hank. He seemed happy to accept, and didn’t seem to notice her lack of sincerity. They made love that night for the first time in weeks. The tension fell below the surface, but it was still there.
Sue found herself wondering if she would have been better off with a husband like Mark. A stronger man, with a more successful farm. She wanted to travel to the Caribbean and send her kids to private schools like Betsy did. Hank was kind and sweet but he was simple. She scolded herself for thinking these things, but the thoughts kept returning.
*****
“I’ve checked the soil,” Hank announced on the first Tuesday morning in April. “It’s getting warm. The weatherman said it is going to stay nice all week. This coming Monday is when we will plant.”
Sue didn’t respond. She didn’t want another confrontation.
Hank spent the next week making all the preparations to plant. He cleaned and calibrated the planter. He tilled the fields with his plow. He checked the soil every night to make sure it was still warming up. He checked the weather reports many times each day to make sure no rain was coming up. Of course, corn needs rain to grow. But too much rain while the seeds were still emerging would drown them out.
“It’s going to be a banner harvest this year,” Hank said on Friday night. “The weather is going to be sunny and warm all next week. Our corn isn’t going to get rained out. By Monday morning the soil will be at the perfect temperature for early planting. It’s like God meant it to be.”
*****
On Sunday morning the family went to church, as usual. Most of the farm families from across the county converged into the small town. Hank insisted his family arrive early to get a good parking spot. He ushered them to seats in the back row.
“I want to be able to leave as soon as they finish the service," he said. I want to get back to the farm and look everything over one more time before tomorrow morning."
The band played their songs and the elders passed the collection plate. Pastor Arnold stood at the podium to give his sermon. Donna had a seat on the stage with some of the other church leadership, facing the crowd. Sue always felt inspired by Pastor Arnold’s sermons and looked forward to them.
“For today’s sermon, I want to go all the way back to the Old Testament, to the Book of Numbers, Chapter 11,” Pastor Arnold said.
This will be interesting Sue thought. Pastor Arnold usually preached the New Testament. She didn’t know as much about the Old Testament and was looking forward to hearing more.
“We all know the story of how God freed the Israelites from bondage," he said. "Moses led them to the promised land. But they had to travel through the desert to get there. God was kind to the Israleites during their journey and he made sure they had enough food. He blessed them with a seed called manna. Manna from heaven! The bible tells us that, ‘its taste was like the taste of pastry prepared with oil’. Every night manna would rain down on the Israelites and they could eat to their heart’s content.”
Sue had never heard this story before and wondered where Pastor Arnold was going with it.
“Were the Israelites happy with the manna?” the pastor asked. “You would think after Good freed them, and gave them food each day, they would feel joy. But no! They wanted meat. ‘Yes we do like the manna,’ they told Moses. ‘But in Egypt we had more variety. We had fish and lamb.’”
“The nerve!” Pastor Arnold thundered. “After all God had done for them, the Israelites were not grateful for the manna he delivered. They wanted meat too. So God said, ‘I will give you meat’ and he created a wind that swept in enough quails for the Israelites to feast on. Those who had been complaining rejoiced. But as they ate, a plague fell upon them, Those who feasted died. To this day, they lie buried in a place called Kibroth Hattaavah. InHebrew this means the ‘grave of craving.’ That’s right. The Israelies who wanted to eat meat so much died as a consequence of their greed.”
The crowd was quiet except for a few gasps. Sue looked over at Hank, who was intent on the pastor. Sue wanted to know how Pastor Arnold would relate this harsh tale to modern times. He was good at that.
“The bible doesn’t outright say what caused the people to die,” Pastor Arnold said. “But there have been some educated guesses. One possibility is that the people’s stomachs were so used to the manna seed that they couldn’t adjust to the meat. Another is that they did not cook the meat good enough. Whatever the reason, the message is clear. They wanted too much. They asked for too much. They weren’t satisfied with what they had. And they paid for it.”
As the pastor spoke, Sue noticed that Donna was looking right at her. Her lips formed the slightest smile. Then Sue looked at Hank again. He looked spellbound. It clicked. Donna must have told the pastor about the problems Sue and Hank were having. The pastor was speaking right to Hank! You shouldn’t want so much for what you can’t have, the pastor was explaining to Hank through the sermon. Your farm doesn’t do as well as the others but you have enough. Be grateful for that. Don’t stretch.
Sue felt a huge burden lift. God had answered her prayers, using Donna and the pastor as his vehicle. Hank would understand now. He would cancel his plans to plant tomorrow. Sue looked at Donna again, who was still staring right at her. Her smile was even bigger now, and she made the slightest wink.
“We have what we need from God,” the pastor said. “He has blessed us. Don’t take your blessings for granted, my friends. That is today’s lesson.”
The music started playing to signal the end of the service. Hank shot up from this seat, took Sue’s hand and headed for the door. Why was he still in such a rush? The children followed behind them. As they made their way to the exit, Sue saw Betsy, who was holding a brand new Coach purse. Sue had been eyeing that same purse online for months, but it was way out of her family’s budget. It was inappropriate to bring to church anyway.
*****
“I didn’t understand a word of what Pastor Arnold was saying about those Israelites,” Hank said as they drove home. He took his sunglasses from the visor and put them on. “Sometimes I don’t know about him. Or could it be I was too distracted thinking about my planting tomorrow? This is my favorite time of the year. It reminds me of when I was a little boy and I got to help out daddy.”
Sue crossed her arms and sighed. She had misread the entire situation. The sermon hadn't captivated Hank. Donna hadn’t been winking at her. God hadn’t intervened on her behalf. It was all in her imagination. Wishful thinking.
Yet as they made their way through back country roads to their farm, Sue thought more about it. Yes, she had misread the situation indeed. Donna had been staring at her. But it was not because Pastor Arnold was directing the sermon at Hank. It was because he was directing it at Sue. She was the one who had been ungrateful. Her Hank was simple but kind. He couldn’t provide as much for his family as Betsy’s husband, but he provided what he could. She was jealous of Betsy when she should have been happy for what she had.
“I’m sorry, Hank, I’m so sorry for everything,” she blurted out, grabbing his hand. He turned and smiled. As he did that, his hand jerked the wheel, causing the car to veer over the yellow line, almost into the oncoming lane. No cars were coming and after he corrected they both laughed. They held hands the rest of the way home. Like thee used to do when they were teenagers, driving along the same back country roads.
Hank pulled the car into the driveway and turned off the ignition. As Sue went around to the back to start helping the children out of the car, she felt a raindrop on her face. That’s funny, she thought. She looked up at the sky and she saw dark clouds where the sunshine had been a few minutes earlier. Hank creased his brow and shut his lips tight. A loud boom of thunder rang out. Sue’s daughter started crying. The rain started pouring down. Sue grabbed the children's hands and they ran inside. Hank wasn’t going to plant tomorrow. This thunderstorm will drench the soil.
It didn’t stop raining for two straight days.
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