Everlasting Tears

It’s been 20 years since I’ve seen a human face. They were all obliterated to shreds by that “Thing.” The “Thing” showed no mercy to anyone. Everyone and everything was decimated upon recognition. Everyone, except for me.

There was no warning, no sign, nothing, just absolute destruction the “Thing” yielded. I was standing there in the middle of a street corner, eyes glued on my phone, and a woman screamed. A scream of absolute terror, a scream that induced physical shock in me, a scream that sounded like the angels of death were coming to take me. Just like that, the woman was scooped up by the “Thing” and taken away to God knows where. Chaos broke out, everyone scrambling to get away, but the “Thing” did not discriminate. It eradicated every item in its path, leaving no room for a human breath. Standing there, unable to move or make a sound, fearing that I'd be its next victim. Quickly as it came, it left. Disappearing into nothingness and only leaving debris of a once functional society. I ran, ran as fast as I could. 1, 2, 3 miles until my legs locked and I collapsed from shock and pain. I lay there in my own sweat and salty tears, realizing that everyone was gone. Nothing was left, not even a spec of dust was spared from the wrath of the “Thing.” Unsure of what to do I did the only thing my body was capable of. I sob into my hands, loud and uncontrollably, between sobs are the accusations. “This is all my fault”, it wasn’t, It was completely out of my control. “Why didn't it take me?” I still wonder that today, some may think it was a blessing, but I see it as a curse. “I’m all alone”, was the last thing that slipped my lips before I lost all hope.

The misery and pain started slowly and painfully, I was desperate for a way out. Anything I tried, failed, I was stuck in this eternal hell. Next was denial, which struck like a ton of bricks. I was fully convinced that everything happening was a figment of my imagination. I was hallucinating, in a coma, suffering a concussion, any excuse to justify this dreadful reality.

The “Thing” never came back, for so many years I wished it would. After some time I became numb to this unfamiliarity of life, to distract myself I began to explore new places. See the world for what it was, a dry, deserted, wasteland with nothing but me. I started playing pretend with my thoughts, tricking myself into believing I was in a place prior to this retched hell. I created a whole family for myself. My mom was called Helen and my dad was called Steve. I had two siblings, one was called John, and one Wendy. Me and my siblings never got along, Wendy always pulled my hair and John called me a pee-brain. Still, I loved them and we were a big happy family. 

I had gone nuts.

I began lurking around empty stores, trying on the newest designer clothes (but were they technically “new”) and having a mini fashion show to keep myself entertained. I scarfed down any leftover canned food, electricity didn't work so I had to eat it cold. Then I sat on the display couch and turned on the TV, which did nothing, wondering what I did to deserve this. I had been a decent human being and achieved the life anyone would want. A stable job, a nice car, and a two-bedroom apartment, yet I was still chosen to be the subject of damnation. Eventually, drowned in tears, I dozed off. Sleep was different, the constant night terrors and being unable to escape my dreams tortured me. Everyday, the sight of the glistening sun awoke me. I never got used to the ear-piercing screech of silence.

Imagining myself in a place of peace and prosperity kept me sane enough. I started hearing things, my brain tricking me and mimicking the voices of my lost friends and family. “Come with us,” the voice said, but there was nowhere to go. Nothing to do. Nothing but me and the voices in my head and the fact that there is no escape. “I’m right here.” No, you’re not. Stop playing these cruel tricks on me, brain. You’re nothing and nowhere without me, you don’t have the right to trick me. I am you and you are the only thing that feeds my constant pain and misery, just shut up. “I’m watching you”, which was strange because there is and will always be nothing. Nothing but me and the summer breeze, which was a trick because there was no such thing. No summertime beach days or winter snow days, just constant dead air and murky brown particles circling the atmosphere. If the astronauts came back they would have thought they landed on the wrong planet, but they never came back. No one did, not a single soul ever surfaced on Mother Earth again.

I made my way to New York, it only took about half a month, but time was useless. The year, month, day, minute, second didn't matter. Time was irrelevant because the only being that existed was irrelevant. Plants, animals, bacteria, anything that was slightly alive were crushed by the “Thing.” The only existence was atoms, stars, space, and Mother Earth; yet all her life was sucked up by the greedy black mass that consumed her children.

Driven by a once joyful life and the hope for something new, searching for a sign of anything. I will take anything, oh glorious Mother Earth please feed my quenched need for something more than nothing. Nothing, just like before I was given nothing. Frustrated, I began to cry, crying like a child who just dropped their lollipop onto the dirty, hot pavement. Between the tears, I heard a “plop” then another, and another, and before I knew it there were thousands of raindrops falling; one, by one. Mother Earth has answered my desperate calls with her tears of hope. The dry ground has been nourished with the richness of the tears and Mother Earth no longer wishes for something to drink. I sit there on my hands and knees inspecting the once death-filled ground that is now thriving with water. I poke at it and expect dirt as hard as a rock, instead, I feel the squishiness of mud. It was like touching the cheek of the once-flourishing human population. I stare at the mud I had created and let out a scream. The scream echoed across the vast emptiness of the world and bounced back with hope for something new. Something inside of me lit up and I felt like my heart was going to fly right out of my chest, dance around me, and fly away to the world beyond. Overwhelmed with excitement I rest my head on the mud, hoping to hear its breathing like it was a newborn baby. I lay there for 1, 2, 3 hours, listening, waiting for something more. The voices no longer taunt me, they cannot patronize me and my thoughts any longer. A deep breath and the sound of nothing filled my ears, nothing but the sound of the breeze. Mother Earth has given me the milk from her breast and allowed me to suckle on her glorious freedom and chance for something other than nothing. A single tear slipped down my cheek as I cry for the absence of nothing. As I cry for Mother Earth and her generously answering my prayers. I cry for me, and for humanity, and the “Thing.” Which is weird because that “Thing” is the sole reason for my eternal suffering on this glorious planet that was overthrown by death. That did not matter anymore, the only thing that mattered was the spark of hope that ignited the once-deceased light bulb.