The Claw and Cackle Club of Green County

   The Claw and Cackle Club of Green County

Suzanne Marsh

1953 Green County

Bert Merriweather hated the thought of being subjected to a Woman’s Club, it was more like the claw and cackle club. He decided since he and Martha were both going to town, they should ride together. He planned to take her to the home Mabel Toth; where the meeting was to be held this month. Martha informed him that it was simply a book reading meeting. He knew better from past experience. Martha was displeased when she arrived; there was never any really good gossip in Green County, most folks avoided saying anything harmful. Bert dropped Martha off:

“What time do you want me to pick you up?”

“Five o’clock I suppose; if we break up earlier I will call you. You are going to meet Sam,

Mace, Norton, and Joe?”

“Yep, we are going to play golf; that can’t get us into any trouble.”

He laughed as he left Martha standing there; glaring at the back of his balding pate. Bert hated golf but he hated the claw and cackle club even more.

Green County had the most gossips in any of the surrounding counties, no one could rationalize why; it was just the way things were. Bert remembered his Mother and how she loved to hear all the juicy details; ‘I guess that is the way it is in Green County.’ He thought about what the ladies would be saying. Had they noted that Irma Roche had put her home up for sale. That he thought was rather bizarre; she had moved to Holmes two years ago. Then there was the widow who never pulled her shades completely down, now there was no doubt about that discussion.

Martha rang the door bell, Johanne Spect opened the door.

“Johanne, where is Mabel?”

“She had to run to the store, she made Strawberry Shortcake and forgot the whip cream.

Can you imagine that?”

“With Mabel, yes I can. She is getting forgetful lately.”

“Yes I have noticed that myself. Well come in dear, everyone else is here.”

Johanne’s claws were out already thought Martha. Mabel burst into her living room:

“You are never going to believe what I just heard!”

“Vell are you going to keep us in suspense?”

“No, the Sheriff was caught with his mistress. His wife Sharon is livid.”

“Are you serious?”

“I heard it from Connie the cashier at Draper’s Supermarket.”

“She is usually reliable.”

“The Sheriff is home now attempting to keep face; I would think.”

“Vell, I hope he gets what he deserves. He has been playing dat double sword

for quite a vile Ja?”

“Yes, I suspect he won’t be running for Sheriff again any time soon. We of the

Woman’s Club of Green County will definitely see to that.”

Sheriff Todd Mitchell, strode into his home where his wife Sharon was already placing the last of his processions on the front lawn.

“Sharon, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I am doing? I am throwing you out. I have suspected you of

having an affair with Jolene Rittenbacker; of all people.”

Todd tried to mask his feelings but then he became angry:

“Sharon, if you bothered to stay home instead joining the claw and cackle club

you might have noticed I was lonesome. Jolene was there when you weren’t”

“If I were you Todd I would not plan on remaining here in this county. You

won’t be reelected; that I promise you.

Todd, grimaced as he watched the anger and hurt Sharon was feeling at this moment. He couldn’t or wouldn’t stop her. He decided to let her go for a time, let her cool off.

Anne Markowitz stopped to talk to Connie the Cashier:

“Connie, what is going on with Todd and Sharon Mitchell?”

“That is fast becoming the biggest story of the year. Sharon caught Todd in bed with

Jolene Rittenbacker, of all people.”

“Well that explains why all of Todd’s belongs were out of the front lawn today.”

“Sharon, means business, she has already gone to see Mark Vespucci the lawyer

in Menton.”

“I guess she is more than angry?”

“Yep, that she is.”

“I must go Sven is waiting for me.”

Connie thought: ‘there she goes, now the other half of Green County will know about the cheating Sheriff.

Anne Markowitz alighted from her Hudson car, making her way to Meg Pratt’s home. Meg heard the door bell, she hastily fixed her hair as she rushed to the door.

“Meg, I had to come right here. I must tell you the latest.”

“Heavens Annie what is that important?”

“I just spoke to Connie the cashier, she told me all about Sheriff Mitchell and of all people

Jolene Rittenbacker.”

“That hussie? “

“Yes, she had an affair with Sheriff Mitchell. If that don’t beat all.”

“Sharon, threw him out of the house, his clothing and such were on the front lawn.”

“I must go home, I have steak in the car for dinner.”

Anne Markowitz left in flurry. She still had friends she wanted to tell this tasty piece of gossip. Meg Pratt watched her leave; then went straight to the telephone to call Peggy Stanton.

“Peggy? Oh girl I have just heard the juiciest gossip from Meg Pratt.”

“Please don’t tell me it is about Jolene. She called me about ten minutes ago. She

has already packed her things and is leaving as quickly as possible. She has only

been here a few weeks. She is different than the rest of us. She is young and pretty.

She is not facing the middle age frumps like we are. She told me that Sharon caught the

Sheriff coming out of her apartment. He was there on business not for pleasure.”

Meg, paled on the other end of the line. Had they gone to far with all the gossiping in town? Jolene apparently had done nothing wrong, but the claw and cackle club decided to see the worst. Jolene left town, the way she came quietly. She had no desire to hurt anyone. She hoped the Sheriff and his wife would straighten things out between them. The Claw and Cackle Club was dissolved later in 1954. The gossips of Green county and the Claw and Cackle Club finally realized that there are two sides to every story.