God is a liar

This is a story about a cult I made up and has nothing to do with any existing religion. I apologize if there are similarities to existing beliefs, they are not intended!

Trigger warnings: Mention of murder/ violence, people in a cult, manipulation.

God is good. God is kind.

God is a liar.

God is good. God is kind. God is gracious. God is benevolent.

God is a liar.

God is a liar.

God is a liar God is a liar GOD IS A LIAR GOD IS-

I open my eyes in shock, just to squeeze them shut again. Meditation is not over yet and the barrier of my skull has never felt thinner. God can hear my thoughts and this fragile plate of bone is the only border between my thoughts and Him.

God is almighty. God can hear my prayers. Just like I heard her scream- stop.

God is good. God is a liar- stop, I have to stop. Stop these thoughts, stop fidgeting and fiddling my fingers. God is good. God is kind. God sits on the dais in the centre of the room, ever so watchful, protecting His flock. Protecting us, His sheep. We are his dumb, idiotic sheep and he is a- stop.

God is good. God is kind. God can see my dreams and hear my prayers. God can hear my thoughts. My thoughts should please God. God will be pleased by my thoughts.

God is good. God is kind. If my thoughts don’t please God, God will kill me -stop- He will kill me -stop, stop it, stop- like he killed Aleya- STOP, STOP

„STOP!“

I gasp and tear my eyes open, hands clasped over my open mouth. I can feel my heartbeat in every shaking finger, but I am sure that this shout was not mine.

„Stop, my dear children. You have done so well. I am pleased by your thoughts and your prayers and I am touched by your love and devotion.“ God‘s voice is so smooth and soothing.

„I feel your love for me, in each one of you. My devoted, loving children. I am devoted to you in kind, and you can feel my love for you, as I can feel yours.“

„God is good. God is kind.“, the flock responds as one.

I see some of the other devotees cry tears of love and joy at His sight, drying them with the sleeves of their colourful robes.

God is clad in silver and gold and mother of pearl. He is the perfect picture of strength and goodness and mercy. He sits in our midst, on His golden dais, and He loves each and every one of us.

I dry my tears with the sleeve of my colourful robe. My smile is mirrored by those around me. They look at me, as if saying „I understand. You feel loved and protected.“

God loves His flock, loves all of us so, so much. God loves each and every one of us. God cares for us and protects us and guides us and controls us and strips us of our free will and kills us if we disobey, no matter how loud we cry for mercy and-

„My dear children“ God has such a soothing voice.

„Every hour spent with you in meditation- no, conversation, because I hear your prayers and you feel I answer them, yes?“

The flock nods; of course we hear his answer, of course we feel his love.

„Every hour spent with you in conversation brings me joy. However, today I have to convey a tragic, devastating message to you all.“ His voice grows softer, but the room is silent. We can all hear him.

He furrows His brows and shakes His head. God is so sad.

„Acolyte Aleya is no longer with us.“

The silence is unbearable.

No, hear screams were unbearable- stop- her pleading and- stop.

Stop.

„The blasphemers have taken her. Acolyte Aleya died a devout believer, one of our most faithful. Her last prayer was so…“ God wipes a tear from his eyes and the flock starts to weep silently. We feel His sadness. We long to comfort Him. He clears his throat.

„Dear children, seldom have I heard a prayer so full of love for me. She trusted in her faith, even as the impious ones tore her limb from limb, trying to force their beliefs onto her. She trusted in her God, knowing that if the blasphemers didn’t have means to shield themselves from my divine justice, I would have given my life to save her.“

„God is good. God is kind“, we cry.

„But fear not, dear flock, as Aleya did not suffer! I could not offer myself in her stead, for their devilish rituals prevent it, but I took her pain as my own and led her to eternal, peaceful slumber.”

We sigh in relief. God is good and kind and merciful.

“So let us keep my beloved child, Acolyte Aleya, in our thoughts and prayers. Let us swear to end the evil that plagues us, kills us, once and for all! Let us unite in the fight against the impious, who seek to destroy our family; let us destroy the blasphemers, those who will not follow the divine path that I have paved!“

„God is good! God is kind!“ the First Acolyte proclaims. His robe is white and wet with tears.

God is a liar.

„God is good! God is kind!“ the others join, their colourful robes a rainbow of love and grief and eternal devotion.

God is a liar. God is a killer.

„Good is good! God is kind!“ the flock shouts in ecstasy, dancing and flailing all around me.

God is a liar and a killer, and he will suffer for what he has done.

„God is good! God is kind!“ They celebrate as I sit and look directly at God. God sits on His dais in the centre of the room. He is clad in silver and gold and mother of pearl.

I will make God beg and suffer and cry for mercy.

„God is good! God is kind!“

God is a liar, and I will kill him.