I have seen the Light!

Long ago, way back when in Sunday School, I believed. My father and old Grandma took my older sister and me to Church. There we learnt about Jesus and God, forever blessing us. We learnt about the wonder of Heaven and Eternal Light and Love. When did you learn about God? I do not ask anyone.

But we went home to my mother, an atheist and a nihilist. On her journey on this cosmic stage, she stopped us attending Sunday School, and prevented our youngest sister from ever being there. So for some reason, as a teenager, I studied Theology with some assorted clergy, termed by our Professor as "The Divinities". This group wandered around campus together, finding their vocation in Christianity. I duly topped them all in the final exams. My mother remained totally unaware of this input to my youthful atheistic insights and esoteric non--vocational education. At that same time, she was guiding me in reading of the thoughts of Chairman Mao, in The Little Red Book.

As a graduate teacher, no one could believe that I taught Religion, while being married to a lapsed Catholic. I believed. I did plan some lessons, as I wondered what I was teaching, if I was brainwashing my classes with undue indoctrination. No, the children grew up in a classroom of good friends in God, embracing diversity. Did not do them any harm at all! I believed, and faith is free. I encouraged their beliefs, preaching to the converted.

But at the age of thirty plus, I had turned away. My mother's childhood training had kept me in doubt. For years, I silently pondered, the Love of Our Lord Jesus Christ, but in silence. Any issue in my baggage in life, would find me sitting in an empty church. I kept praying and turning my concerns over to God, in secret. I kept on believing that no one woke up alone. Faith can be "For the people, by the people, and by the people". None of us can overcome some pf our early conditioning, I guess.

Years later, I drifted away again. But while I was browsing one day on social media and the internet, I chanced upon a success story of my teaching days. One young lassie, who was blessed with her capable aptitudes, had grown up to be an author and community historian.

I felt so proud of her achievements. Most children are a privilege to teach. That was long ago, and so in the past. She definitely had an upbeat attitude to daily life. She greeted each morning, welcoming sunny days, good friends, and lovely books, like the Bible. "Look," she would say to her classmates, "God is great. I got an "A" in Religion".

Yeas later, this nostalgic recollection instigated my path to see how many ways any grey can accomplish an "A" in Religion. Well, we can work on thinking how great God is. We can appreciate privileges smiling with a cheerful heart. Here, I enjoy having sunshine days, or rain, both of which are good for the garden. I have a good family, and quality friends with faith. This is what today's scripture says to us. There is no need to be whining. Life goes on for every Christian, as our Bible tells us, in our network of binding friendship.

As this afternoon of languid ageing would down, I reflected that nothing bad happened. God is great. I believed I could develop in my faith, and hope to keep seeing the sun rise anyway.

At the age of sixty, I made my decision. It was not too late to join a local church. "I have seen the light, finally!" as Jesus did say to His followers.

Who guides anyone on a quest? It might be childhood memories and influences, our parents' philosophies, or our Grandma's loving hands. All are factors, as God can guide each of us to see the light, to pray for wisdom in choices, for grace, with a devotion to the Holy Family. It is great to wake up smiling, in light which gives anyone hope. There is still no perfect faith, not yet, but we the people can still be working on it.

I still sit sometimes in an empty church to pray. The church is never really empty. Alone, a single woman, some chicks are better off that way. Like some, I pray for good intentions, for healing for all the citizens of our beautiful world, for world peace, for a peaceful day. The human race is still dreaming big, no one spit the dummy, not yet. That is my insight to any reader.

Then one night, I was watching the evening news. I saw a media item about a near incident on an airplane. The landing gear did not engage. A brilliant human pilot had to override the autopilot, and land the giant international flight with all its passengers safely. There were no atheists on that plane. Some felt like kissing mother Earth in our land upon landing. Home in one piece, as my father used to say.

In these days of robots and automation, we can still read our Bible,written by humans. God's words are inspiring us even today, that it is okay to be human, to care for others .

Humans have thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It can take many humans years to figure what our human mission in life is. Some days we feel we understand. At some stage all our gifts and human foibles, can be devoted to God. God sent us a sign, in fact many signs, and continues to do so,

No robot can replace any great faith. Not yet. There were suddenly no atheists on that plane that day. For those plane passengers and their unmechanical pilot, it is still quite okay to be human, in any challenging time ahead!

No from my past would ever believe some stuff like this. So, I have finally written my personal tale of belief, of faith. Anyone's human faith and hope. and trust in their own abilities, can be free. In daily routines, we can all be blessed, and aspire to face challenges ahead with grace, and gratitude for the real world blessings and privileges we now have. The face of any format of love can have a beautiful visage, inherent in our very human race. It can remain forever young. Critics might say this old grey is more religious than the pope, folks!

Life can be full of surprises, so always be prepared to be flexible. Through God's hands, I have seen the Light, on my journey to the altar of God, quest to the Cross. Ironic, but human.