Professor On Run

She sat observing him for any sign of what he had told her he suffers from and the main reason he came calling that late rainy evening without seeing any. He said he suffers from narcolepsy, narcotic-tipsy, or some word that sounds that way. No sign of weary tired eyes, no blinking eyes. He dressed like a gentle man which helps in settling nerves but his words are yet to manifest to validate his attire. So, the woman Sarah had remained alert.

 When they are in good health like that and dress the way he did, in a city and tribe 90 percent fly out and throw any colors together, either he is a civil servant or retired one thing or the other but he maintained he is a trader. 

“ It is like where he is coming from is far, it had been long he said he is coming back”

“I think I heard his voice downstairs talking to someone. He will be in, in a minute”

Caleb the man Uche came to see and asked for a favor of driving with him to the catholic adoration site in Abis state due to his medical condition staggered in almost half asleep induced by excessive alcohol. Flopped on the sofa, jumped into his visitor and wife's discussion without acknowledging both. Uche eyed him and went to partial sleep inside with a double mind. He is not sure he made the right choice. The woman that told him about the priest had connected him with him. The man is even like an omen to his plans. But he plowed on after extending pleasantries that were met with the showing of brown teeth.

“I came to ask of one favor that so dares to my heart”

“Favour?- tell me immediately”

“ don't know if she told you of my health conditions, that is what brought me to your house this evening. I heard that there is one powerful Reverend Priest that returned from abroad stationed at Umuaki town in Abis state, I want to go there on Friday to know if heaven will have mercy on my poor soul. I need you to accompany me in my car there if it’s possible for you. I need to turn to God now these doctors have failed me over and over”

Caleb was eyeing him and Uche isn't sure if he heard him or not. The way he was staring without blinking is confusing. When he wanted to repeat himself, he slurred: “This Friday?”

“ Yes”

“That would be three days from now?”

“Sure”

Caleb started thumping through a tiny notebook from his pocket checking for something scowling with each turn. Then suddenly stopped and stared deep into what is written on that page and turned towards Uche again.

“ Yeah, that is free enough days for this journey. So, you want me to drive you?”

“ yes. I can also drive but you know this my attack doesn’t give a warning before hitting me. In case I get any sign, I can park and you drive”

“No problems. Around what time on Friday?”

“ We need to leave early. Maybe around 5:35 am to be able to be there around 9am prayers start”

“ Okay. 5:30 am will suit me fine”

Uche was surprised at how easy it was for him, he was wondering if he is answering with clear heads. He might recant his stand after sobering up. He had wanted to hire a driver from driving schools and pay him but recent happening three already under two months have sent fear of God into people. The driver would suddenly stop, complaining of funny noises coming from the tires. Then went to the boots to get four heads and a jack. Then asked the boss to step down for a few minutes only to use the four heads on the unsuspecting boss. Dump the body in the bush there and fade into thin air with the car. He decided that Caleb with his drinking problems is far safer. The line lady seems to know him well.

He had gone to see one herbalist after many people concurred that what he is passing through is man-made. He have never seen or heard of anyone suffering from his type of disease so he concluded that it must be man-made truly. Wicked people are overflowing these days. He recalled vividly the first question the herbalist asked him which took him off-beat temporarily.

  “Are you a professor?”

It took him about three minutes to recall what that word stands for before he answered in negative. Professor?

He stopped his education in year two of secondary school and has never visited anyone including his daughter in the university so, he has never seen the compound of the University since he came into this planet. Why did people always ask him that question? To think that the herbalist did not believe him was a surprise to him. Judging from the type of money he charged him after telling him it was witchcraft attacks. I am going to cure you of this within two days. He had said and charged him in almost hundreds of thousands. Why they always thought that professors have so much money surprises Uche. His daughter has told him that those professors don’t have money and most don’t like money only books. Why do people always believe that education equals money? The concoction the man gave him sent him on forced leave from his shop for five days with an acute running stomach that left him losing about ten plus stones afterward without success.

He had gone to see a foreign-educated medical doctor and to his chagrin, this educated fellow had asked him the same question. “Are you a professor?”

From the man he heard the word narcolepsy, heard that it has no cure, heard how dangerous it can be to the sufferer, how it acts, and how it can be managed only, not cured. He had focused on who focused on him assessing him as he was assessing him. The man, probably to determine how much to charge him and he to know if the man is fake, when they can't cure something, they tell you it has no cure so that you don’t go seeking another person but this one sounds confusing. Why he at times chips in economic status questions sounds confusing.

Not up to eight months afterward, he sat in his shop one morning when one middle-aged woman on the same line as him entered with the news of a priest that came back from the holy land and is performing miracles. Abis state is about two-plus hours away from their base. She was so convincing that he decided to go and see for himself but he have never driven two hours before in his entire life without a negative tale following that attempt. He has fallen asleep twice on the Steeling in one ocassion. On one occasion, he nearly broke his neck and from that day, he decided that even without money to employ a steady driver, he will hire one when the need arises. No more unnecessary risk.

On the appointed Friday, Caleb was extra sober. What happened? Was the silent question in his mouth. He was guessing that either the wife talked nonstop to him on Jack's issue or he was not in a hurry to leave this planet. He insisted he will do all the driving. “No, if the sign comes I park. If you're sick, you're sick” Uche agreed. From the way the guy is going about it, he sounds as if he considered the journey a mortal one with him on the wheels.

For two hours, they drove and the man was chatting non-stop like most do whenever they are in the same car with him believing he will fall asleep any minute they shut their mouth. Caleb was talking nonstop and Uche was laughing nonstop inwards and continued replying to make him feel at home despite that, he still feels his tension.

“ So, this disease has lasted how many years now,” The priest asked.

“Noticed it in my teenage years as long as I can recall. Father”

“you did well coming to me for I hate Satan as you do. Hate that beast simply because he hates me. For taking the decision alone, you are blessed. You will not leave here with any problem you entered this adoration ground with including your money worries. Try my God and see for yourse”

“Amen”

“ You said you are not a professor?

“ No father. I finish form two”

“ No problems. My God discriminate not. Even if you finished in nursery two” 

Testimonies, and confessions, seem to Uche to be far longer than the main prayers session. But He jumps when they do, shouts, when they do, leap and clap when they do, hi-five when they do. Smile when they do. Caleb was observing all these from his third pew down the lane when the priest and about five guys came rushing from the alter marching towards Uche with both hands full of canes.

One with the agility of a tiger landed with all his muscles on fire on Uche lashing him with no explanation. Then the priest and others joined him. Within seconds, Uche was writhing on the ground as ten hands descended on him mercilessly. Caleb doesn’t have the stomach to stand his ground let alone intervene. He quietly made his way away from the church, away from the compound to where they parked and sat inside the car. He did not wait for long when he saw Uche rushing almost shirtless out of the church compound with about two men and a lady in hot pursuit. Professors don’t run that fast. Caleb started the car and met him halfway with door open. As he jumped in, he sped like mad with horns in full blare. “What happened?”

“ I was not told. If you want to know, stop the car and go ask them”

“I was hoping that after the prayer session, I would be the one driving to test their handiwork but see now”

Caleb kept eyeing him from the side of his eyes wondering if he will see any sign of leaving or invasion of any evil spirit. The man is disheveled to tell you the truth and was rubbing here and there furiously as if bees visited him. Two hours and twenty minutes later, they packed at his house. Caleb decided that from the look of things, hospital not Thanksgiving will be gulping the better portion of the man's money. He decided his money needs to be paid that evening the first to avoid the story.

The wife heard them returned but was taken time to enter. As the wife opened the door to know why, her husband or who she thought was him limped in and throw himself on the sofa like he described the man standing there now observing him to her three days earlier.

  “What happened?- accidents? Did he drive?”

No, it would have been far better had he? I suspect your husband has been cured. This is a method the returnee priest uses in curing people and getting all those results. Your husbands from what I have seen, won't be sleeping for a long time. Narcolepsy or whatever is gone forever. Jesus Christ is Lord. Shit!, even Mohammed was not this violent.