Me, or you?

I wasn’t mad that no one believed me. I was mad because I had to suffer mostly alone and no one would understand why until it was too late. Too late for me of course. Just me.

The funny thing is that when I first found out about what was going to happen, I wasn’t scared so much as confused. Most people don’t find out their going to die until the heart line on the electrocardiogram falls to solid. Or moments before their car slams into another. Accidents happen. The thing about me was that I knew I was going to die, and I knew it was going to happen in exactly 12 minutes and 35 seconds. Less now.

The thing that irritated me was that I didn’t know how I waws gong to die; so, at the tender age of 17 I told my family was going out for a walk and I left.

11 minutes.

I guess most people want to be surrounded by loved ones when they die, but since I don’t know how I’m going to die yet, I’m playing it safe. At this point you’re probably wondering, how on earth does this random kid know they are going to die? For a while I thought the same thing, but I guess in a weirdly twisted way, you just know.

I didn’t want to be alone, but because I’m so, so kind and humble I decided to go alive. If you don’t understand sarcasm, then that’s a shame. But in truth, I didn’t want to put my family at risk.

1o minutes.

In my final moments I decided to use the lovely senses I was born with to say goodbye to a world I would soon be leaving. I looked around me, and it was probably the brightest and most cheerful day possible.

 Insult to injury.

 But I’ve always been one to stay true to my word, and so I will describe to you what I felt. It was windy, the kind of windy that blew your hair just enough to make it look bad and not enough to make it laughable. Unfortunate. The air, heavily polluted, smelt like giving up and the ridiculously bright rays of sun burn my eyes, making me consider going back home.

I hate the outside.

9 minutes.

To be funny, because I may as well die laughing, I’d say my last few moments were walk in the park. This was because, in the most literal sense, I was walking through a park. The trees and grass were lush and there were just enough people to make you feel comfortable but still alone.

It was disgusting really.

You’re probably rolling your eyes at me right now, or better yet debating about whether or not to continue my story. Go ahead and leave if you want, because you can.

I cannot.

I am dying.

I’m going to complain about this fact till my last breath.

8 minutes, 43 seconds.

Quite suddenly I feel bad for all the people I had walked past, because really, how exiting could their lives be? No one else is like me and it’s really quite thrilling. How will I die? Will it be painful? Slow? Where will I go afterwards? As I walked on from the park of boring people my hands fiddled with my ring. Plain sliver, no deep meaning, it just felt nice to twist sometimes. I guessed I’d be going somewhere that’s better than most people, because I may be pessimistic, but lets look on the bright side.

Ironic.

Hopefully I’ll end up somewhere nice.

I decided to take a left from the park, and down one of the many roads that cut into the town I currently live in and I bet you’re dying to know where it is. I would tell you, but there’s no point. So, I walked along the unnamed street of the unknown town in the unknown country that just so happens to be situated in an unknown continent. Unknown by just you or by everyone I wonder?

I’m not even real, wake up.

6 minutes.

I felt like I was running on a treadmill. For all those people who don’t know what that feels like, I’ll explain. It’s awful.

You run but go nowhere and if you look down you can see the timer moving increasingly slower, counting up the time you’ve wasted. I fell like I’m looking at the timer right now, except the seconds have turned into days the minutes into weeks. I’m sure time isn’t physically able to go this slow, but then again, I was never the smartest person.

I mean technically I am; it depends how you define smartness and how low you’re willing to drop the standard. (low)

6 minutes 59 seconds.

As the time literally ticks by slower, the panic begins to set in just a little. This is just not something I’m used to, clearly. If I was, I’d be alarmed at myself. Imagine me taking a deep breath. Now imagine me casually looking up into the sky. You do what I say so willingly.

I have so much power over you it astounds me.

 Maybe that’s why I’m destined to die, maybe it’s some deeper meaning that neither me nor anyone else could comprehend. Or maybe, its just life.

To be honest I felt a little awkward. Shuffling my feet on the pavement and sitting at a bench. Was I supposed to be doing something? It was like being the only person to dress up at a party.

I felt so out of place.

I decided the best thing to do was take out my phone. This is a joke, I don’t even know what a phone is, only that they were once used to talk to people but that’s about it. I’m still smart though.

4 minutes, 7 seconds.

I wonder if anyone else knows I’m about to die. Probably not. Maybe I should tell someone? Or should have told someone. I suppose its too late now.

I spend a minute looking at my hands.

I spend a minute looking at my shoes, wondering if I should have tied my laces tighter.

2 minutes, 7 seconds.

I know the exact time.

It’s fun.

You don’t know how I do it.

There is no cold feeling, there is no light, there’s just me, sitting on a bench. I really feel like we had a relationship, this little one-way conversation we had going. But I guess not. I’ve spent my last few minutes alive, telling you when I’m going to die. But I think you’ve figured it out a long time ago, since you’re the one who is going you kill me.

I bet you weren’t expecting that.

I was, I am.

1 minute and 7 seconds.

I had so much power over you and I guess that’s how life works. As one new power arises so does another kill it to take its place. You are taking my place, yet you don’t even know where you are. The beautiful thing is that you never will. But I will.

I will always know.

6 seconds.

5 seconds.

4 seconds.

None of this makes sense to you right now, but I assure you if you wait long enough it will.

3 seconds.

2 seconds.

1 second.

Well done.

It's not your fault.