Write a story inspired by the phrase “It’s hardly brain surgery.”

Posted in Funny on Apr 14, 2023

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✍️ 34 stories

“The Birds” by Daniel McCaughtry

Submitted to Contest #194

The kettle whistles. It all starts with glass and grinding, grating brakes. Shattering into nothing. Black. When my life first started it was a tumult of record players and rocking horses. I didn’t have any other option but to succumb to the environment. And everything was so alive. Now, I feel trapped. My only home is the shower where I place a cloth down and let the water build up until it’s nearly overflowing. Only at that point do I squirt the plastic receptacle filled with fake blood everywhere even though it's food colouring I ...

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“Milkshake” by Sammy Courtney

Submitted to Contest #194

The lads had just finished their last sips of their fourth round of beers. It was a nice 15-minute walk home they were all prepared for and enjoying the streets of this foreign country on a breezily beautiful night like this, drunk, is something they were all excited to do. They got up, paid a ridiculously large tip relative to the country’s tradition, and left. On the trek back, the gang passed an open-late pizza place. Mark insisted that they must stop for pizza. No one else...

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“Piña colada puppet ” by Amy May

Submitted to Contest #194

Trigger warning: Contains mentions of adoption and teenage pregnancyReady get set and travel magazine: Article number #23 written by Rosemary Whitsands: It's hardly brain surgery to know that Australia is unique, with its Dingos and gum trees and the famous Scrubby Creek. With the Platypus that resembles a Beaver and a Duck, and if its small spurs inject you that would be rotten luck. Old Platypus is not the only lethal creature here, we have killer Kangaroos that look like steroid Deer.You could be walking briskly along the bush track, when...

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“It's Hardly Brain Surgery” by David Reynders

Submitted to Contest #194

The Schow family lived in a nice suburb outside of Salem, Oregon. The streets were cobbled with small stones, and a few roadside stores that have been selling goods for generations. The town was filled with wooden homes and small plots of land that people used for farming. There were hills and apple orchids on the outskirts of town. The rolling hills were covered in long grass and wildflowers. Apple trees lined the outskirts of town, and the scent of blossom filled the air in the springtime. The night skies were clea...

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“Home Repair with Dad” by Alexander Corby

Submitted to Contest #194

Eli woke to the sound of crashing dishes and his grandfather muttering in the kitchen. “Freaking coffee machine won’t turn on…. Where’s the sugar?.... That’s it for the half n’ half…” Rolling over in his nest of blankets, Eli swiped his hand over the bedside clock. Holographic neon numbers appeared overhead, the image wavering slightly. 7:01 AM Another crash erupted downstairs. Eli listened to his grandpa shuffle around and repeat himself. “Freaking coffee machine won’t turn on…. Wher...

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“The Removalists” by Kevin Quin

Submitted to Contest #194

The Removalists He was having a drink in the Westward Pub in Perth after a day at the football, watching East Fremantle thrash East Perth. Charlie Pratt, the Publican, mentioned more than once that he’d like some music, but what? Leaning on the bar and perched on a stool, but with an ear tuned to whatever was around him, Uncle Zac suggested, “What about a jukebox, or maybe a piano for singalongs, eh?” “What’s a jukebox?” asked Charlie. “It’s a new-fangled record player.” Uncle Zac answered without knowing much about them. “Nah. A pianna wo...

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“To be someone” by Chris Chinchilla

Submitted to Contest #194

How did I find myself strapped to a filthy rusty surgery table in a dank back alley quacks chop shop? Like so many ridiculous stories, it started as a drunken bet. After a bad day at work, I found myself where I often do, Jaqui’s bar. It’s one of those bars that reprobates like me go to feel better about themselves to attempt to remind themselves they haven’t sunk to the bottom quite yet. I was drinking my own business, staring out the window at the world going by, when I sensed someone sidling beside me. “This seat taken?” She s...

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“Brenda” by Hannah Kanbar

Submitted to Contest #194

Brenda7:29 AM - My alarm wakes me with an anxiety-inducing siren. I need to remember to set it to some other sound, one that won't actually wake me up. It is remarkable that by its simple existence, school has the power to turn me into an exhausted, depleted, zombie-like version of myself wandering comatose toward Friday. There is no amount of sleep that could ever be enough to sustain even the most energetic of teenagers, so all I can do is maximize every minute of every night, only to drag my lifeless body to school on time the follow...

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“At least it's not rocket science ” by Smriti Sudhakar

Submitted to Contest #194

“It’s hardly brain surgery.” A phrase one might repeat to themselves when kissing a boy, walking into an exam, or DIYing. Nervously chuckling, she donned her PPE and thought to herself that surely the others are just as nervous as her. Clammy hands concealed by smooth latex, sweat drenched clothes squeaking against the paper gowns, she took a glance in the bathroom mirror. “Yeah, it’s hardly brain surgery… OH who am I kidding, it’s literally brain surgery!?” She wasn’t quite sure how she ended up here, chalking it up to COVID for passing her...

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“It's Hardly Brain Surgery” by Frances Gaudiano

Submitted to Contest #194

It’s Hardly Brain Surgery “It’s not like it’s brain surgery,” Brian huffed as he handed Janet the new nail clippers he had bought at the pet store. “I’m sure it’s no different than cutting our own nails and it’s certainly not worth paying for a visit to the vet.” “If it’s so easy, why don’t you do it?” Janet was still refusing to take possession of the red-handled clippers with the nasty guillotine edge. “Because it’s not my dog.” Janet had to raise her eyebrows at that. Sinbad, the dog, spent most evenings sprawled on the couch next to ...

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“A e I Own You” by Andrew Fruchtman

Submitted to Contest #194

“C’mon Mate, it’s hardly brain surgery now is it?” “Yeah, no, but it is, Gordon,” I said. “It most definitely is.” “Look, I had it done. Was taking way to many pills, ya know? Antidepressants, sleeping pills, fucking Adderall man. Uppers and downers, I was a fucking elevator! Now? I’m smooth, no more chemistry class.” “So glad it worked for you but I just can’t make up mind, and isn’t that a bit ironic?,” I said. “I think it’s idiotic, honestly. Look, stop pumping ya self with zombie drugs and just fix the problem, m...

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“Lost File” by Nick Baldino

Submitted to Contest #194

[TOP SECRET] Enhancing Decision-Making Capacity through Implantable Devices: Protocols of Patient and Faculty Management during Prefrontal Craniotomy.Magnus Terkov, Joseph Frackner, Nina Lipell, Cristian NadlerAbstractSince the ascension of Chinese War in 2034, the race for true sleeper-cell agents has been steadfast among multiple government agencies. In this effort, U.S. scientists and engineers convened at Praxford Medical to create an implantable microchip for the prefrontal cortex. This device can deliver microvolt pulses in predetermin...

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“Sarah, Alex, and the Kite” by Chase Manhart

Submitted to Contest #194

Sarah had always been an adventurous spirit, and she loved to explore the outdoors. She had many fond memories of flying kites with her dad when she was younger, and she was excited to share that experience with Alex. As summer vacation began, Alex and Sarah had big plans for all the fun they were going to have. They had made a list of activities they wanted to do, and they were determined to check off each one. Their first adventure was a camping trip in the nearby woods. They packed their backpacks with all the essentials and set out earl...

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“Jeremy's Sliver” by Hope Linter

Submitted to Contest #194

Jeremy felt a prick on his finger, the one next to his thumb. He stared at the redness surrounding the hair-thin bit of wood sunk into the fleshy pad of his fingertip. It hurt, and he tried to pull it out with his fingers, but couldn’t get hold of the tiny end. “I’ll get it out.” Missy left the TV room where they were building a small house out of wooden popsicle sticks and returned with a large pair of black scissors and a large needle. “Why’d you bring those and not the tweezers?” “I couldn’t find them.” “Don’t touch me wit...

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“The Soap Factory” by David B Fraser

Submitted to Contest #194

“Nice shoes.” The factory worker said, walking past Christopher at the security gate. Christopher looked down at his suede steel toed deck shoes. He believed now he should have bought the regular steel toed work boots for this job like the men who were passing him wore. “What’s the name again?” The security guard asked squinting at a computer screen. “Christopher Quinn. The temp services sent me.” The security guard put a finger on the computer screen and pointed with his othe...

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Write a story inspired by the phrase “It’s hardly brain surgery.”

Submissions are closed

✍️ 34 stories

“The Birds” by Daniel McCaughtry

“Milkshake” by Sammy Courtney

“Piña colada puppet ” by Amy May

“It's Hardly Brain Surgery” by David Reynders

“Home Repair with Dad” by Alexander Corby

“The Removalists” by Kevin Quin

“To be someone” by Chris Chinchilla

“Brenda” by Hannah Kanbar

“At least it's not rocket science ” by Smriti Sudhakar

“It's Hardly Brain Surgery” by Frances Gaudiano

“A e I Own You” by Andrew Fruchtman

“Lost File” by Nick Baldino

“Sarah, Alex, and the Kite” by Chase Manhart

“Jeremy's Sliver” by Hope Linter

“The Soap Factory” by David B Fraser

🌟 Similar prompts

Write a story inspired by the phrase “I’ll eat my hat.”

Write a story inspired by the phrase “The short end of the stick.”

Write a story inspired by the phrase “The plot thickens.”

Write a story inspired by the phrase “Back to square one.”

Contest #194

Enter our weekly contest!

$250

Prize money

213

Contest entries

118

Stories

Win $250 in our short story competition 🏆

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