Mr X
Ex-husband ex-father ex-lover ex-soldier
I seem to collect ex’s as I grow older
Ex-worker ex-person now I’m retired
They want me ex-living, they want me ex-pired
I’m just an ex-pense or so it would seem
A drag on resources quite too ex-treme
Ex-tortionate demands I make on the state
Asking what I paid in for to ex-acerbate
The dire position we’re in as a nation
By greedily holding this crass ex-pectation
I’m a drag on ex-chequer I should ex-it this place
Take Ex-treme unction and go with good grace
Ex gratia payments? Seems they’re all right
For every ex-tremist, it’s their ‘uman rite
To ex-ploit the system, have everything free
All their ex-penses are on you and me
It’s just their politics they want to ex-tol
By causing ex-plosions that seems their goal
We cannot ex-port then to where they come from
Cos they face ex-ecution for murders they’ve done
Ex-cuse me for thinking this just isn’t fair
Shouldn’t their ex-country pay its fair share?
It seems all this ex-creta is now the norm
Getting ex-cited considered bad form
So here is your ballot paper just place your eX
Don’t matter who’s in now, don’t matter who’s next
All our ex-pletives won’t do any good
So when my ex-oskeleton’s made out of wood
Bury me deep in some far secret plot
And put on my tombstone X marks the spot