Scott Wiser

“The Lamentable Tale of Osrick and his many hats” by Scott Wiser

Submitted to Contest #61

Remember the good-old days before Fortinbras ,when Denmark was ruled by Claudius and good king Hamlet. Why a person could buy land as quick as that and everyone knew where to hang their hat. Remember that? I certainly do but oh how we mourn the death of the past it is a shame none of it could last. And here it seemed to change so very fast, what with that violent bombast. The way Horatio tells it makes a hero of that prince git. The one who looked nothing like his father King Hamlet and whose head, well, I would li...

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“Christmas in Oceania” by Scott Wiser

Christmas in Oceania Ad #1 Hi! This is O’Brien coming to you with a very special gift available just in time for the holidays. We’d really want you to think of Christmas early this year, so that Big Brother can pass down to you his favorite gift. The gift of song. A toy that you can play over and over again on your approved stereo system. You will find all of your holiday favorites in this time limited edition of the finest Christmas music you have ever heard today. Currently only available in vinyl. That’s right, ...

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“Pa Collapsed” by Scott Wiser

Submitted to Contest #60

The east side zombies were always friendly and polite. They felt it only appropriate to ask before eating any brains. Who would just go up to someone and take a scoop. It seems really very rude. “People don’t walk behind the counter to steal ice cream from those buckets, right. So why should anyone, go and scoop peoples brains”. Miley’s father used to say that all the time. Or some variation of it anyway. People rarely repeat themselves exactly. There is always an extra word, an Um, or some other ...

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“The Apocalypse and Me” by Scott Wiser

Submitted to Contest #60

There are few things in this world of less interest, than any sort of discussion on the Apocalypse. And I told him this. Straight to his face. Or rather, where one would imagine a face, instead it is kind of a blurry empty space.  Oh, don’t worry, he doesn’t seem to mind, after all, he wouldn’t be much of an armageddon of any kind, if he cared what we thought, nah to that he could take or leave. Not really one to wear his heart on his sleeve. He usually just reaches for a pint or takes a shot and winks without...

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“Low-key Shun” by Scott Wiser

Submitted to Contest #59

No one ever seeks to be alone. You know, that isn’t true, don’t know why I have to overexaggerate everything. Hyperbole would be the force by which would run my superpower, if I had super powers. I am not certain what I would want my super power to be. My go-to is to be invisible. Which, pretty much refutes my first sentence. So, forget that first sentence. If you could strike it from the record, like a court stenographer with a machete, or a particularly angry album purchaser…with a machete. Apparentl...

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“Bertie and Bert” by Scott Wiser

Submitted to Contest #59

Bertie and I moved away quite far, to a new place we never knew before. I had worked solid for many a year and Bertie, she just never had any fear, so I was the one holding us back keeping us from our good cheer. Finally, she said, Bert, my man, it is time or the shit will hit the fan, I need a new change, widen our free range, lets get out of this cage before we are of too high an age, while we each can earn a high high wage, and you know we both need that boost, before, and forgive me love, our chickens come home to roost.  ...

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“The night there was almost no light” by Scott Wiser

Submitted to Contest #58

The night there was almost no lightMikey drove his car through a pole one day. He says he never saw it coming, claims there was no other way. But the truth is clear, his car is smashed and the pole fell flat, and the transformer nearby went blast. In fact, the entire town went dark, to the great joy of each and every bat, save for one house at the end of the street, whose lights stayed on, an improbable feat.Would it surprise everyone to know that Mikey and the owners of this house, the one at the end of the street were friend...

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“Power Out Age” by Scott Wiser

Submitted to Contest #58

No one noticed the hair change, or the sea change, either in the house or with bodies of water. The moon shifted, that is really all the newspaper article said, the moon moved over just a bit, a million miles hairs breadth over, and the sea shifted. Nothing flooded, no lives were lost, just innocent as can be as if it were ready for a new experience, as if it were time to sell the house and move to the country to save lost animals, the moon moved and the the sea pulled up its waist straps, took a deep breath, stared longingly and affect...

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