S.N. Beale

“Phantosmia” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #218

[NOTE: LANGUAGE]It's too late. This is unreasonable.Why am I doing this to myself?A whine, creak, and drawn moan open to the wafting of day-old bleach, burnt sugar, and stale beer. The ramble is piercing, and the clanks aren't in rhythm with the chatter or the lyrics. Shouts take on various notes as each cluster harmonizes in their conversations. Until I entered.This is dread. This is hell.Fresh oil, sizzling on cast iron, passes by and lingers in the humid air, creating a gust of hickory smoked tobacco that tickled my nose. Only the clanks ...

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“The Light in Your Eyes” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #209

“Flamboyant ClairvoyANT.”"What?""Lord, I can't repeat myself again. They were a flamboyant clairvoyant by the same name.""So they could tell you your future. I don't see what's so special-""No, they could only see into the past to see which one of your ancestors was gay.""Wait-""See, there was this baron with a side piece and a gambling debt to said side piece, but there was no proof that said baron - who was separated but still entangled with his wife and grown children – who had kept secrets to his grave – was ever in the "lurid" arrangeme...

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“Parallel Revolver” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #196

[TRIGGER WARNING - MENTION OF MENTAL HEALTH, DRUG ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE]I was supposed to be a lot of things.To my grandmother, I was supposed to be a child star or model turned beauty queen, then an actor. To her, this meant I was supposed to be white; she didn't want me to be born. She'd tell me from a young age how worried she was that I had a black mother. Concerned about how I would come out. Questioned how'd I look and what people would say. She said some of her troubles were swayed because I came out beautiful and intelligent. My grandm...

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“One Squared” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #194

Back to square one. What else is new? But I don't want to approach this negatively. I want to change or continue to change. Pivot. How do I do that, is the question? How do I not fall into the same old responses and reactions? How do I learn? If I'm not being taught in a manner in which I can retain and reuse. How do I make a repeated lesson worth the effort to process and complete it; without returning to square one. I know what the phrase means, but I am getting frustrated by the intent of all words in general now. That can't be a good thi...

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“Lessons by the Same Name (Part 1)” by S.N. Beale

(TRIGGER WARNING) My memories have always been vast and something I have personally struggled with here. I live in infinite presents at once. I close my eyes in this world; I wake up in another. Sometimes, it’s into parallel universes similar to this one - where my furniture is different or arranged in an old way, and my tattoos are varied, and my scars are few or more. At other times, it is an entirely dissimilar universe from my situation - to my family, friends, routines, and world circumstance. Some places I live are apocalyptic in ...

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“I Think I Can Do Better” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #95

“It’s important to talk about. It’s important to speak. To express yourself. I understand your writings and your drawings, but now I want to hear from you. I want you to trust this space and open up. That is the way to healing. To process these things, to say them aloud to someone that is present and listening. You need to be present and willing. Understand, time is not necessarily a problem here. We have time for you to breathe, to collect your thoughts before you begin. But this is what will help. This is how you get out.”“…No.” “…Tak...

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“I Think I Can Do Better” by S.N. Beale

“It’s important to talk about. It’s important to speak. To express yourself. I understand your writings and your drawings, but now I want to hear from you. I want you to trust this space and open up. That is the way to healing. To process these things, to say them aloud to someone that is present and listening. You need to be present and willing. Understand, time is not necessarily a problem here. We have time for you to breathe, to collect your thoughts before you begin. But this is what will help. This is how you get out.”“…No.” “…Tak...

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“How it Goes” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #94

tw: drug use, profanity   I want to be friends, now.   Or possibly strangers, I am nicer to people I don’t know…and there is a part of me that still wants to be nice to you.   I wanted to be more, once. But as we’ll all come to see, more was too much.   What we already had was enough for the time - sex, drugs, and rock and roll - minus the sex. So, it was more like drugs, music, and depression. We were children then, both being raised by single parents with nothing but time on our hands. I had the pocket money and fridge ...

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“Ember's Forge” by S.N. Beale

A low groan was trailed by a succession of mechanical pops as the surrounding lamp poles, and storm lights shuddered and dimmed before shutting off. Darkening the vibrate colored carnival advertisements into diabolical figures, cast in the evening’s shadows. The moon peeked through the overcast maroon skies as the striking grey clouds swept across the horizon, warning of impending downpours.It was the main reason for the carnival’s early and sudden shutdown. As just moments before, the emergency systems blared and rang across acres of rushin...

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“Ember's Forge ” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #93

A low groan was trailed by a succession of mechanical pops as the surrounding lamp poles, and storm lights shuddered and dimmed before shutting off. Darkening the vibrate colored carnival advertisements into diabolical figures, cast in the evening’s shadows. The moon peeked through the overcast maroon skies as the striking grey clouds swept across the horizon, warning of impending downpours.It was the main reason for the carnival’s early and sudden shutdown. As just moments before, the emergency systems blared and rang across acres of rushin...

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“I Am Power” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #88

I am ordinary. I am you. There are times I want to curl up in a tiny ball and scream until my lungs give out…sometimes I do. When I know, I am not being heard, when I have exhausted every subtle tone and discreet, friendly, passive manner of saying, “You are hurting me. This is unfair. I need help or at least rest. Please give me space because you are smothering me. STOP IT! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP TOUCHING ME!” Until horror washes through me, and I realize you are perfectly aware that I cannot breathe. You can hear me. You have processed e...

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“Other People's Shite: Patsy's Repurposed Designs (Part Two)” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #79

After bypassing security measure-men apprehending another faction worker, out past curfew, Ruby Kurtones III had arrived slightly late - and unnerved - taking a wrong turn to the alleyway to meet best friend Patricia ‘Patsy’ Murdock; at their agreed-upon site for a night of hobby. Sweating in her hazard suit and dragging along her oxygen tank with the busted wheel. Ruby began to find herself both weary and excited for her first night of thievery. As three siren blasts sounded in the distant squadron, signaling the appeasement tower's lig...

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“Other People's Shite: Patsy's Stolen and Repurposed Designs” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #78

Best friends - Ruby Kurtones III and Patricia ‘Patsy’ Murdock - were out on a shared off day. Enjoying their weekly stroll and catching up through the collective faction’s neighborhood park. It was the most pleasant day: ungodly humid with a suffocating fog. However, the air was the right amount of stale and putrid where they could wander at their leisure without dragging along their discount oxygen helmets or rashing up their faces with vent masks. Instead, dressed in their most cordial hazard gear - matching vibrant oranges and yellow refl...

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“Secluded Vacation” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #77

“We’re legit gonna get killed. I am gonna die out here.” Jessie proclaimed, melodramatically miffed.Gordon could only roll his eyes, following behind Jessie with their bags to ensure he made it through the door this time.“This is straight-up irresponsible. We’ve just sauntered into some damn horror movie. This is how it starts. Straight up, death was written in the damn sky!” Jessie huffed, his eyes bugging out his head, his signature vein pulsing thickly down his strained forehead.“What the hell are ya goin’ on about? You’re not gonna die. ...

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“The Frozen Abyss ” by S.N. Beale

Submitted to Contest #77

Harold was a lone man, tired and starved. His last hope of warmth, long gone and forgotten to this infinite storm. He could not turn back and what surrounded him was certain death. Although frozen for miles in a reflective white and daunting grey expanse: Harold had finally made it to water, not knowing he’d been traveling up a stunted wave the entire time, further and further out to sea. He now found himself surrounded by fragile chipped ground. One step down and forward could mean: plugging into a frigid abyss. There was nowhere el...

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