Miles Gatling

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Nov, 2019

Stories (68)

68 Stories

1571 karma pts

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“A reason to love. Man's lovely triumph. All my homies part lips” by Miles Gatling

Her lips parted to receive his tender kiss-“Pff what?! The fuck is this? Parted, who invited Moses?”His tender kiss, a warm breath brazing her cheek-“Ayo, what's happening? Why aren't those two dead yet? You probably have a fever or something.”“Be quiet or I'll shove you so far back they'll find you at his next colonoscopy.”“Whoa, relax. Why are you busting my balls like that?”“Leave him alone he has to focus otherwise he won't write anything.”“Did you see that crap? Blood thinks he's Twilight…”“It's a story about two lovers. He put me in ch...

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“Light the way” by Miles Gatling

"Come on, pull me out already. Let’s go, grip me firmly, and choke up where I like it. That feels wonderful. Stop teasing! I can hear the clack of metal. Do it, do it, you... ahh that’s it! Woo, here we go, the hour of reckoning has come. Slay the mounted one, careful he’s barreling toward us. Yes, well struck. I love the split second of warmth as I pass through one’s face. You were a bit nervous I could tell. That blow was too powerful. You should loosen up a bit. But that’s the case with every battle, isn’t it? The first kill drives the sh...

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“The forbidden kiss” by Miles Gatling

“Who talks like this?”“Like what exactly?”“Like this…goofy, dumb, gesturing all over the place. Don’t you see it?”“I think I do, but why does it bother you so much?”“What are you guys talking about?”“Shut up, nerd. Bother someone else with your squid thing.”“It’s such a good show: intense, gritty, close to reality. It’s essentially a documentary.”“Realism?! You stupid fuck.”“Let’s not get into it. Why don’t you explain your annoyance with that show in a more constructive way…”“Look man, I tried watching it when the hype was everywhere. Saw a...

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“Huff ” by Miles Gatling

My name is Sergeant Volk Mane, squad leader of Unit Thirteen. We exist to serve the interests of high-ranking government officials, tasked with eliminating terrorist targets deep within enemy territory. We are a rogue unit, untraceable and expendable — no country, no name.Our intel pointed to terrorist activity in the Woodlands, a region deep within the meadow. We received reports of an extremist organization expanding its territory and growing in numbers. The head of the organization, known only as Mother, conducted her business with the he...

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“Black magic” by Miles Gatling

"This way, hurry up.""I don't understand why they sent you of all cats. You don't even look like a real cat.""What is that supposed to mean?""It means I'm not comfortable walking these streets with the likes of you.""Wow, just wow... Racist much?""Excuse me?! How dare you?""I'm sorry, did I hurt your feelings? Where did you study magic, at White Hall Supremacy?""Don't you dare call me racist. You don't know me, I'm one of the most-""Shut the fuck up before I tear your throat out. You're lucky I'm spellbound otherwise I'd eat you alive. And b...

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“Dish” by Miles Gatling

Today we will be writing a Gatling classic: violence with a side of toilet humor. For this, you will need the following ingredients: 1 angry male, Y chromosome protagonist A pinch of injustice and malice1 fresh baby. 1 or 2 villains 1 tall glass of dialogViolence, as many pounds as you can fit in 1000 words1000 words. Method Step 1 Even if the kitchen is the natural habitat of the double X chromosome hero, they lack the crude humor that their male counterparts exhibit. Amy Schumer is an exception and is so funny. You can pick...

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“Grinder? I hardly know her ” by Miles Gatling

The black spot on the wall kept growing. That’s how his wife could tell he’d be grinding. David would carefully sweep the black powder from the stone floor after every session. He wiped the windows, cleaned the sink, and opened the garage door to air out the place. But that one spot on the wall next to his workbench always told the truth. The power of those tiny metal shards flying into the wall impressed David the first time he held the angle grinder in his hands. He saw fire, he saw smoke, felt the tremble in his arms, felt the metal give ...

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“But what I do have are a very particular set of skills ” by Miles Gatling

“Write it down, every last detail. I already know what you did, you piece of shit.”“Confess to what you wack job? I don't know what the hell you're talking about?”“Refusing to cooperate? I'll laugh my ass off when they throw the book at you.”“Throw the what? What are you talking about?”“A wise guy, eh? Do you know what they do to wise guys in prison? You better spill the beans: where's Little Tony?”“Look, mister -”“That's detective to you, punk.”“Detective I'm not lying, I swear. I have no idea who Fat Tony is or where he might be.”“Aha, so ...

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“The jewel of Grjnztwxu™” by Miles Gatling

Eternal rest calls to you, hero. Your time must not run out until the jewel of Grjnztwxu rests in the Palace of Wonders once again. Make haste, for the fate of all humanity rests on your shoulders. Rise out of the ashes and walk the earth once more. < casts resurrection > Well then that’s that, where’s my sudoku? Has anyone seen my sudoku? Like a piece of paper with checkers on it, haven’t you seen one before? Enlighten me, what do they call it in Sparta? Gay. That’s funny… You’re a funny man, are you sure you were a soldier and not a ...

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“That Artemas guy sure can sing ” by Miles Gatling

Don’t come over, don’t come over. Fuck. “Hi, wow you look amazing! That dress is stunning, just…so beautiful.”“Thank you darling, it's so good to see you. I thought you left the city years ago.”“No, I live here. I work at-”“Remember spring break in Bushy Creek? Where does the time go?”“I remember you stole my boyfriend and left me alone in the woods, soaking wet.”“How we laughed, you were a wild one.”“A bear chased me up a tree.”“Oh darling, don't be so dramatic. Bears can’t climb.” I swear if this cunt says one more word i’ll go postal 2 on...

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“Rated R for pirates ” by Miles Gatling

“Quick use your mighty ass, Red Plug! It's the only way to stop that all-powerful woman who has butt one weakness.”“I can’t, Emo Claws. Not even my ass is a match for her wisdom, power, and plot armor. We must explore our feminine side and talk about our feelings so she can take pity on us.”“At least make fun of her baldness or something. You sound hopeless.”“Alopecia is no laughing matter, Emo Claws. I will release her from death’s grip and put both of us at her mercy.” Come closer there’s plenty of room up front. Did you enjoy the movie? W...

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“Tits butt a dream ” by Miles Gatling

The coffee was piping hot but she wrapped the thing in a cardboard sleeve. He picked the single seat table. Unfortunately it was positioned in direct view of the counter. The cardboard or plastic cup sat on the counter steaming ever so gently.“Excuse me, is this for Frank?”She stared with her raccoon eyes, the dark eyeliner extending to her nostrils.“It's for Foe, can't you read?” she hissed, her stud hitting the metal wire that crushed her crooked teeth in position. How her tongue didn't get stuck in those brackets is a mystery. She was lit...

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“Force it in you, force be with you...” by Miles Gatling

“It’s called an action figure, you fucking cunt.” Skip to the end if you don’t want Star Trek spoilers. It’s just dialog with “cunt” sprinkled throughout. “The only action that toy will see is you wanking away at print screens of Syndulla. Old man Henry could lend you one of his goats if you like horns.”“They’re not horns, they're called lekku. It’s an appendage that grows from their skull. I like her because she leads the rebellion, the fight against -.”“You like her because of those mommy milkers. Who the fuck brings their kid on space mis...

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“Roses are red ” by Miles Gatling

It wore his skin flawlessly. It looked like any other: dancing, feasting, weighing in on current affairs. One would have to regard it closely to see the sum of all that is dark dwelling inside. Its eyes froze men in place and made women sigh.  The dance was in full swing. Jolly, colorful musicians strung their instruments. A tune from the far east filled the hall bringing visions of sand dunes, of pointy towers, of figs and spice. Draped in gold and white linen the beautiful Harrisa spun on her bare feet. Her laugh echoed violently thro...

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“Mom in the cockpit ” by Miles Gatling

Are you talking to me? Who do you think you talking to you stupid cocksucker, fuckin fuck-Melvin? Are you on the phone?Yes. I'm talking to my friends.Ok. Do I know their mothers?I play online with them. Don't worry about it.Ok, text me if you need anything.I will, mom.Alright where was I.You. Talking to me? Come on keep the flow going. Are you. Talking to me. I better write this down.Would you like burgers for dinner?Mom, did you say something?Melvin, open your door. I said do you want burgers for dinner?Yeah that sounds great, thanks.What a...

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Author bio

Not for kids