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Maisie Sutton

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Mar, 2021

Stories (20)

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96 Followers

69 Following

20 Stories

876 karma pts

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Truth is a Fickle Brew

Submitted to Contest #316

Almost from the moment Buzzed Beans opened, coffee aficionados from around the globe crossed its threshold to experience what the Coffee Times lauded “the purest form of legal ecstasy that your mouth will have the divine privilege of experiencing.” While unquestionably a hyperbolic description—it is after all, just coffee—the consensus soon became that one trip to Buzzed could literally be life-altering. During that fateful month in July, Buzzed truly lived up to its name. A handful of customers began reporting a strange phenomenon that occu...

14 likes

Behavior Management

Submitted to Contest #313

Are you there, God? It’s me, Luke. Yeah me, the one who made himself your prodigal son by pulling a disappearing act the last ten years. I prefer to fly under your radar, floating through life with as minimal effort as the universe will allow me. The problem is, I’m a dad now. That’s not the problem, I love being a dad. But I now have responsibilities with a capital R, and I might be in danger of screwing up my perfect kid. Don’t get me wrong, he’s far from perfect—after all, he’s got my DNA! But he is so completely himself, with his quirks...

21 likes

Something Is Rotten in the State of California

Submitted to Contest #307

The contest was born out of a group of ideologically disconnected English professors who could agree on one thing and one thing only: their students were incapable of writing a decent paragraph. They were engaged in a philosophical war, fueled by the recently enacted directive from the Chancellor’s Office to eliminate all remedial English courses. This resulted in two distinct camps at Midline Community College: those who fervently believed students should be denied access until they could draft a basic essay, and those who felt it their div...

17 likes

I Only Ride Acoustic

Submitted to Contest #305

Snap! You’re Busted has captured stunning footage of Chloe Armstrong, Elevated Lifestyle Magazine’s recently named “Health Architect of the Year,” scarfing down what bore a striking resemblance to a McDonald’s Big Mac. Our camera operator caught her mid-bite, eyes closed in what could only be described as a food-induced orgasm. When we called Chloe’s name, she rolled up her window and sped away, a french fry dangling from her mouth. Hey, we’re the last people to judge, but in an interview that aired just last week, Chloe renounced all proces...

20 likes

When the Pun Stops, It’s Time to Get Real

Submitted to Contest #304

“Lily! How will you mark the neighborhood today?”Dr. Finley looked pleased with himself as he resorted to his endearing habit of ascribing animal behavior to the humans in his life.Lily didn’t think she could squeeze out a drop of wisdom, let alone leave a mark on this dreary Monday. She was not feeling anything resembling pride for her role as kitschy content creator for the marquee in front of the Pawsitive Vibes Pet Care office. She read last week’s message and felt a wave of disgust: “IF YOU KNOW A BETTER FISH PUN, LET MINNOW."Lily had w...

18 likes

Ebony's School of Torture

Submitted to Contest #301

There is no question that my girlfriend Ebony is what some guys would call “a handful.” And before you think I’m some misogynistic jerk, I don’t mean it in that piggish way that guys refer to the size of a woman’s breasts. Not that Ebony’s breasts aren’t great—in fact, they’re the best pair that I’ve encountered in my thirty-seven years of well, having the awesome privilege of experiencing women’s breasts.Now I’m starting to sound like I’m obsessed with boobs when I’m honestly more of a butt guy. Okay, let’s be real. I am a fan of women’s bo...

9 likes

Spring Break in Nebraska

Submitted to Contest #299

From: Levi Jones <420itstimetoroll@gmail.com>Sent: Friday, February 7, 2025 7:44:39 AMTo: Professor Reyes< sreyes@smallvillecommunitycollege.edu>Subject: Agree to Disagree about Dwight (Sociology 100, section 54072)Dear Professor Reyes,First of all, your last lecture on meme culture totally resonated with me. I think memes are an awesomely underrated way of expressing emotions, especially for people like me who don’t really understand their emotions and definitely don’t like to use a lot of words.Speaking of memes--what if I subm...

14 likes

The Apology Tour that Never Was

Submitted to Contest #298

It gets exhausting, this compulsion to apologize for every stupid thing that comes out of my mouth. Okay, maybe not stupid—more like thoughtless. It seems that no matter what I say, or how gently I try to couch my words in an uplifting tone, I manage to offend, annoy or generally piss people off.My efforts at keeping my thoughts to myself, or at least severely toning them down for general consumption, are failing miserably. It seems that every other word out of my mouth is some epically failed attempt to make nice. It might be time to accept...

17 likes

Drinks with Brutus

Submitted to Contest #294

The motley crew of five grizzled, road-weary, yet jocular lifelong friends sat in a row at the bar, ready to toast the end of another long week. As had been their tradition for the past twenty-five years, the self-named Compadres met up at The Rancher’s Cut Bar and Grill every Friday at 5 pm, give or take.The men worked hard, earning their happy hour tradition: Rick was a chicken farmer, Phil owned and managed a fleet of porta-potties, Ernie was a letter carrier, Mick was an electrician who pretty much fixed everything that went wrong in tow...

18 likes

Business in the Front

Submitted to Contest #291

My wife, using colorful words that I won’t repeat here, had the audacity to accuse me of being obsessed with my hair. My first instinct, of course, is to strongly deny this unfounded indictment and explain to you the reason my affinity for my hair is most decidedly NOT an obsession. I am not balding, newly consumed by creating the perfect combover to cover a growing bald spot. In fact, I have the opposite problem—unruly, thick hair that has always had a mind of its own.For my entire life, controlling the disaster that is my hair has been an ...

11 likes

The Accidental Retreat

Submitted to Contest #290

The room is overflowing with eager conference attendees, abuzz with palpable dreams of transformation. The theme of this week’s retreat is “Finding the True You.” Makes me want to vomit, but hey, I just work here. I took this extra shift, in desperate need of quick cash after my boyfriend abruptly moved out. He offered to pay his share of the rent for the next few months, but my new Functioning Adult Status, and frankly my pride, didn’t allow me to accept his money. I’m rethinking that decision right now as I’m working for the eighth day in ...

28 likes

Lost In Panama

Submitted to Contest #288

Trigger warning: references to suspected domestic violence (no specific details) The wind shifted, carrying punishing sheets of rain that sent the pendant lights crashing into each other. The palm trees swayed in the distance as a dull roar signaled the storm’s arrival. There was a collective gasp, turning to laughter, as we all were instantly drenched by the surprisingly warm rain. Moments earlier, we had been sitting around the mahogany bar under a thatched roof, sharing shots and conversation. Our group had the shared fortune of discover...

16 likes

The Thirst

Submitted to Contest #286

The longest time Sarah has gone without acknowledging my existence is three weeks. Those were, without a doubt, the longest three weeks of my life. It took everything in me to merely exist, my spirit fading with each passing day. My world felt like a desert seeking water, my very foundation cracking. Sarah becomes like this when work consumes her. She tries to maintain a balance, but her drive overtakes her perfunctory attempts to include me in her world. When she has a deadline, her focus narrows into a tunnel of awareness that includes onl...

16 likes

Functioning Adult Status

Submitted to Contest #284

September 15, 2024Functioning Adult Status Application Dear Universe, I respectfully submit this claim as evidence that I have reached “Functioning Adult Status.” I kindly request that you review my “Hard Lesson” summary below, along with the required “Life Lesson Impact Statement.”  For your convenience, these lessons are listed in chronological order but are not necessarily in the order of gravity or life impact. My therapist has indicated that these rankings may change over time as I become more mature and better able to understand m...

16 likes

Can You See Me Now?

Winner of Contest #283 🏆

Being invisible is my superpower. I don’t mean that I’m a superhero who is out slaughtering villains, cape flapping in the wind as I zoom over the New York skyline. The truth is, instead, that I am a “woman of a certain age” who has suddenly morphed into invisibility.But don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a poor me story written by a middle-aged woman longing for her past. That would accomplish nothing. And I am a person who gets things done. I’m used to being the one that everyone turns to for answers, and the one who pretended I wasn’t aw...

158 likes