Lily Kingston

“So I Followed an Owl to a Suspicious Small Town... (Part 2)” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #59

Author's note: This is a part 2 to "So I Met an Owl in an Elevator". If you want, maybe read that story first to avoid spoilers. If you don't want to, no worries, have a recap and a wonderful day!Recap: the unnamed narrator rushes to an elevator from a hotel bar while realizing a creep from the bar drugged her. She makes it to the elevator, passes out, and wakes up to find a power outage that stopped the elevator and a mysterious talking owl with muddy red feathers and dark green eyes. He introduces himself as Howl, her Guardian Owl that cut...

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“So I Met an Owl in an Elevator... (Part 1)” by Lily Kingston

I have never wanted to hear terrible elevator music more in my life.Yuck. That’s almost as sad as that time I attended my ex's wedding without a date and tried to drown myself in the supposedly ‘bottomless’ shrimp (I found the bottom, which makes it so much worse). At least I knew how I ended up in that situation (a history of stress eating)—and I kinda deserved it because I used to be an asshole. But this one? This one is nothing but proof that God is either merciless towards the innocent or playing video games and not paying attention...

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“Building Bonfires and Families” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #58

“Hey, Baby-Cakes!” Callie Baros cooed as she peeked into the bathroom of her student apartment that she shared with three other sophomores where Cake Flores was doing their hair. “Can you please not use so many electric appliances at once? Thank you~” “Hey, Callie~” Cake said in an imitation of Callie’s voice, “Can you not call me Baby-Cakes? It’s not my name, Cake is.” “Sure thing, BC. And remember to unplug.” She winked, then left. Cake rolled their eyes, then plugged in an extra hair dryer and turned it on just to spite Callie—bringing...

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“Some Parents Just Hate Each Other More Than They Love Their Kids and You Can't Do Anything About It” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #58

The Spring Concert. What happens is once a year my mean music teacher, Mr. Bradford, buys himself a new suit and tie for it. It’s some weird way to convince himself he’s not a loser when his job’s end goal is making children sing slightly less off key for their parents. Spoiler alert, Mr. Bradford, if the highlight of your day is making my friends cry because they can’t hit the high notes (since they’re twelve and just trying to survive the second period) you’re already a loser. With a capital L. No suit bought on clearance at Macy’s can co...

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“What a Neefv Gotta Do to Eat This Crew?” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #58

“Hey Frank, you’ve got something in your teeth,” Celeste pointed at his reflection as she stared into the mirror, obsessing over her already perfect blonde hair.“Oh, okay.”“It’s not okay.” She handed her crewmate a container of floss. “Fix it. We can’t travel across the galaxy looking hideous, can we?” Celeste puffed up her curls.“Who are you trying to impress? There’s only like four people total on this spaceship.”“Exactly.”Tired of fighting with a girl who could argue her way to a week of free meals by asking to see the manager, Frank took...

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“Stealing Credit for Confusing People with Watermelons is a Crime Worthy of Death” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #57

In more recent news, math textbooks are suddenly more accurate. -Me, five seconds after leaving Costco with all their watermelons while rocking a pair of sunglasses I bought at Dollar Tree because I was broke from buying so many watermelons. It’s a sacrifice. One could say, I’m a her— “Are you internally monologuing about being a hero for buying a ton of watermelons and leaving them on random people’s doors again?” Kalie, my best friend, asked me as she skipped out in front of my shopping cart to catch a falling melon. Man, this girl h...

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“What Mack and Leela Did With a Time Traveling Curling Iron” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #57

“Every time someone says ‘live in the moment’ I wanna laugh, because why would you want to live in the moment when you can live in a vivid daydream while listening to the same song on loop for two hours,” Leela told Mack, her roommate. “It’s just a phrase, Leela. No need to monologue,” Mack said as she searched their apartment for her curling iron. “Do you know where my curling iron is?” “You mean where my curling iron is. Underneath the bathroom sink.” Mack snapped her fingers. “Right.” As she physically harassed every shampoo bottle sea...

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“The Body-Glitter-Loving Apple Fell Like Three Fields Away From the Evil Tree” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #57

Sitting with his legs politely crossed over each other at a three star restaurant two blocks from their apartment, Alex asked Maxwell, “Do you know why I invited you to lunch?”“Because you’re in love with me and you’re going to confess.”“No.”“Because I’m broke?”“Well yes, but actually no. I have news and I think it would be best to break it in a public place.”“I knew it.” Maxwell took a bit of bread and continued with a mouthful of food. “You’re breaking up with me.”“We never dated? We’re roommates.” Confusion spun in Alex’s eyes.Laughing to...

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“Spy vs Spy vs Spy” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #57

Marylin MeyersTime: 19:08Location: The Basement of 23rd on Yeller StreetAs I write this final will, I know they will come for it. Too many familiar cars have been passing by all day. I know my days are numbered. So, to my former organization’s disapproval, I will leave the Jewel of Santos somewhere they will never find it… I only hope they don’t kill me before then… ***Agent ConnorsTime: 9:15, the next dayLocation: 23rd on Yeller Street“Agent Connors reporting, I am outside the location. Ready for mission instructions,” I said, sta...

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“Maybe It's Mabelline, Maybe I Just Hate Myself” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #56

Content Warning: mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts The medication has taken away my ability to concentrate. To think. All my critical thoughts disappear in seconds but I still know I had them. Just wtf. And I know that’s not right because there used to be some version of me--some baby-less version of me--that used to think all the time. They thought their way to becoming valedictorian. To a 100k+ paying engineering job. And this shit’s frustrating because I loved that version of me who can do things. Who could just see something t...

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“Spies in Disguise-ish” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #56

Author’s note: Hey, so this is kind of (?) a part two of my story ’I Spy With My Little Eye a... Spy?’. You don’t need to read that story to enjoy this one, but there is like one or two small spoilers/references. Enjoy! Agent Connors Time: 1:55 Location: Chad’s Coffee Shack So, my girlfriend broke up with me. Three weeks later and my omnisexual ass is already lonely. Hence the blind date at a coffee shop. Well, actually, I’m outside the coffee shop with a newspaper in front of my face, trying to see who my date is before I decide if I ...

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“I Spy With My Little Eye a... Spy?” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #56

Agent Connors Time: 19:01 Location: Jessica and James Jordan’s Wedding Reception “When we get married, promise me one thing?” Angela asked me. “What?” She held the petal of a dying lily in her hand. “Do not use the same florist as Jessica and James. I mean seriously? What did these flowers do to deserve death?” “Twelve counts of premeditated murder,” I said. “Damn,” she smiled, “remind me not to mess with them.” “You got it, babe.” Angela surfed the reception’s endless white-clothed tables until she found the one that had her name w...

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“Sisters Before Misters” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #56

There should be a drinking game where every time your horrible blind date says something terrible, you take a drink. This was the drinking game that Sofia was playing tonight at the popular nightclub, Silverium. “You’re not as fat as I thought you would be,” he said. Drink! “No offense, you’re just not as pretty as my last girlfriend. But hey, gotta start again somewhere for a rebound, imma right?” Drink! “You brought protection, right? Because I tried to buy some beforehand, but my card declined at the CVS.” Drink! At this point, the...

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“It's a Be Milked or Be Married World Out There, Babe” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #55

“I just wish Benji would talk to me about it already,” Emily said as she slouched over the coffee shop’s table. “We’ve been dating for six years and he still hasn’t brought up the conversation of marriage once. I’ve tried to bring it up, but he’s too dense…”Mary-Lou set down her cappuccino and stared at Emily dead in the eyes. “Honey, here’s what you gotta do. Stop all this cutesy code-talk. Stop dancing around the topic. Flat out ask Benji: do you think you would ever want to get married? It doesn’t have to be a proposal—just a conversation...

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“Christmas Addictions” by Lily Kingston

Submitted to Contest #55

No one’s riding their bike in a hundred degree weather while blasting Christmas music from speakers strapped to their bike in the middle of August unless they’re having a life crisis or they’re addicted to Christmas music. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m the latter.I got about halfway through my Christmas music playlist—so around ninety minutes—when a white van pulled up next to me, cruising at the same speed as my bike. I freaked out and pedaled faster, but I was racing a gas-powered vehicle so this probably was...

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