Len Mooring

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Nov, 2019

Stories (70)

70 Stories

2101 karma pts

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“Ancestral Humiliation.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #55

Ancestral Humiliation. “I understand that you have deep dark relatives, or perhaps I should have said, ancestors? Tell me about them. I’m led to understand you are quite proud of them. Pirates weren’t they? Dastardly pirates. Real cut-throat types. Pity I can’t blackmail you about them as you sort of revere them. Have you thought of doing reprehensible things yourself? Do you plan on killing someone, or even a bunch of people? You could become a suicide bomber. Hang on though. Do you have anyone who later on can be proud of you?” “Yo...

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“As I like it.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #55

As I like it. “Now, Ladies, can you keep a secret? No, of courses you can't, that's why I’m telling you. Have I got a deal for you? Notice I said Ladies if you look around, you’ll not see a hairy chin in your midst. However, I think you will want to keep this secret among your gender, eschewing also those of indeterminate gender. This is why we are sequestered upon this island. You are the first of possibly many who have been given the chance to create something in your own image. No, not your physical image, but that image you have in y...

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“Back to Basics.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #54

Back to Basics. “Do you know, I find it quite refreshing to be sitting here with a bunch of six-year-olds? There tends to not be any obfuscation in their communications. They tell it like it is. Of course, the desk is rather small, but I can sit on the floor until my other one arrives. “Teacher. I know you don’t believe me, as I sound quite articulate to you, but I really don’t get this alphabet thing. I can’t see how these individual squiggles make up a word, even though I know they do because I’m using them to talk to you. Ever sin...

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“Recruitment Time.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #54

Recruitment Time. “Hi, God here. Actually, my name was Juan before the other moniker was stuck on me. Baldly, it’s going to be your turn now. I thought I’d give it to you straight with my special soothing app allowing you to take all of this in. Even with the app, it’s quite something, isn’t it? Here’s the lowdown. “We get this God job for 500 years. Even with all the perks of the job, one couldn’t ask any ordinary ‘elevated’ individual to stand more than a half a Millenium. The whining and snivelling eventually gets to you. Anyway, ...

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“Who's for a Second Chance?” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #54

Who's for a Second Chance? “Wilbur Smith, eh? I wondered when I would see you. Steely look hero’s. Welcome to our little television show. We call it a television show, it’s similar to your YouTube, we call it HIM/TUBE.” “On HIM/TUBE? Are you having me on? And it’s Smyth, not Smith. Such a common name, Smith. You’re not the first to try to pull my leg; the bastards. So, I’m Wilbur SmYth. Bugger me, you’ve been at this checking-in game for a long time, now, what, do you still muck around with quills and bottled ink?” The welcoming person thr...

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“Always Well-Meaning.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #54

Always Well-Meaning. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. What more can I say? You can’t say that you didn’t know I was a prick of the first order in the first place. I even told you, do you remember? I said like David Niven said of Errol Flynn, ‘You can always rely on Errol, he’ll always let you down.’” You may have thought it cute at the time and quite endearing, but you’ve had plenty of demonstrations over the years that I spoke sooth.” “Yes, that’s true, Willie, but this is not something that saying sorry will make right. I want you...

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“A Dishonourable Profession.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #53

Not a story for the serious-minded and of a delicate disposition. -------------------------------------------------------- “Look, Lucinda, if you are going to persist in buying popsicles in a heat-wave, get the one’s coated in that chocolate that Hershey made for desert warfare. Or I should say chocolate for the troops sweltering in real heat. You’re dripping over the floor. Outside with you. You don’t leave evidence all over the place, you know that.” Tanny Worth was training Lucinda to be a serial killer, but her heart was not in...

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“A Testing Time.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #53

“Now, you guys, and of course you gals, you can relax. Treat this cottage - hah, cottage. Is 20,000 sq feet still a cottage? I don’t know. Anyway, treat it as you like. Not you, Richie, I’ve seen your place, but the rest of you. “There are about 10 fridges filled with booze, food and weed, dive in. If it’s coke you need, then you’ll have to take the heli. and find Archie in town. He has a big cross on the building which doesn’t mean a church; that’s next door. The cops know him and sometimes use him when they are on ‘stakeouts.’ He’s a goo...

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“A College for Vampires.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #53

A College for Vampires. There is a little country in central Europe that is unknown except for those who should know it. People ride or walk through it without any cognizance of its unique characteristics. That there exists no houses or roads of a modern nature does not excite any interest of comment. In fact, ordinary mortals never linger there or are aware that their thought processes are diminished for the duration. If people were aware of this land it would be labelled a magical one, and indeed it is. This is the country of the...

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“The Billionaire and the Fairies.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #53

The Billionaire and the Fairies. “You’re expending energy in this heat to no avail if you are waving your hand for coolness. Get a fan, or better still, get your gear off and join me and we can frolic. A girl of your charms should use them before you lose them. They’ll not be wasted on me, I’m tantalised already and you’re still dressed.’ I’ve tended to find that delectable girls, or women, come to that, respond to a direct approach, especially if it's from billionaires of which I was a fully paid-up member of that clan. Money isn’t ...

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“Scared almost to death.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #52

Scared almost to death. “There is no way they are going to get me on that effing rocket. It’s a ploy. The moon is not what they say it is, and definitely and for sure no one has been there despite the bullshit they say they have. Also, I didn’t put my name down for this ludicrous lottery. There are plenty of people that want to chance their arm with this diabolical adventure.” “Despite willing volunteers that would want to sacrifice their lives on a fool’s errand, I get selected out by someone, I shouldn’t wonder by throwing a dart at a ...

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“From a Lowly Position.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #52

“Are you sure you’ve got the right, John Smith? Particularly, as the pair of you, I would definitely be put in the ‘Burly Class,’ and ominous in your grey suits. Whereas I am in need of a pair of binoculars to see your visages in the stratospheric realm where you reside. “I take it you are aware that, unlike you, I dwell in the realms where dog-shit merely gets on your shoes, but with me, if I am not paying strict attention, will more likely finish up on my knuckles, so close to the ground, am I. “I assume you ARE aware that I am of the ...

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“A Loving Abduction.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #52

I was only ten years old when I found Rachel. I’ve always liked the name of Rachel, I guess because it’s old. I found her on the floor in a Supermarket just sitting there quite happily without anyone around to wipe up the drool that was running down her chin. I was a boy, I didn’t carry sophisticated things like a handkerchief around with me, so I grabbed some tissues off a shelf and wiped her face. I stuffed some extra ones in my pocket and did something that is quite uncharacteristically alien to me; I picked up what was to become Rachel w...

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“Extreme Naivety.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #52

“Well, well, well. Mother, Annabelle was saving it for the one she loved. I just guess it wasn’t me? Was I going to be like my father, short of ‘home-nooky’ as you were actually saving it for my mother? In 20 minutes I was going to be hitched to someone who actually preferred to bat for her own side. At least you needn’t have been so open with you smooching, I can take it, I’m a professional, but the ordinary public couldn’t, I think. Are you pair just lip kissers or is it tongues down the throat which I told is delightful to some poor peopl...

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“Haunted.” by Len Mooring

Submitted to Contest #51

I’m haunted by the past, and the past only happened last week. I’m finished. I’m only scared of what I might do to my friends who seem to accept this slaughter without losing any sleep. Perhaps they don’t see the aftermath of the devastation of what they have wrought. The families decimated all in the name of some perceived difference from us that is unacceptable. I had belonged to the hand on the heart, salute the flag, Mom’s apple pie variety. I truly believed our way was not only right but the only way for civilized people to live. But ...

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Author bio

One foot in the grave, the other standing on crumbly ground. I like the short story as you can knock them out in a sitting and still remember the names of the characters you started the story with; well sometimes. I found the secret of success late in life, don't desire it. I'm kidding. When I want to belly-laugh I youtube Biggus Dickus and Tim Conway ad-libbing his elephant story."What a joy we have in Youtube;" sung to the popular hymn tune. The correction app tried to change hymn into hymen, I say cheers to that as well.