Joe Smallwood

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Apr, 2023

Stories (83)

83 Stories

1872 karma pts

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“My Dumb Phone” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #201

“You know, I was at church the other day and something weird happened.”“What?”“No one’s phone went off.”“Who is No-one?” my friend asked.“Nobody’s phone went off! There was no disturbance!”And that was the start of it. The new me. The next day my smartphone fell down my apartment garbage chute. Ker-plunk! Accidentally or was it on purpose? Only my subconscious knows! It didn’t cost much anyway. Super small squinty-eyed-cracked-dim-screen, and five years old. Android had already given up on it. No more up...

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“Almost Famous” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #201

It was probably going to be my last day working for Green Associates. The employees in the union who worked directly for the stadium had nothing to worry about. They worked for the stadium in jobs that some of them had been doing for decades. I wasn’t one of those lucky individuals.You could tell who worked for the Mean Green and who didn’t. It was in how they moved. Garbage glided down garbage chutes for union employees with smooth enveloping strokes, a side comment or sly observation often accompanying their light loads.Me...

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“What Can't Be Seen” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #201

Discussion of hardship and death.It wasn’t my life that was being reviewed. It was their idea of me. I never had a say in it. Like a book that you open at a random page, their ideas of me were always lacking a context.What context could there be to make sense of everything? See that is the problem. I could be anything or anyone and without knowing anything about me, you can’t make sense of my life at all. Like a bare light shining into an empty dark room, the glare is all you see.Like that time when my sist...

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“Progie Paradise” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #200

I wasn’t just an only child; I was supposed to be progenated. Pasteurized, homogenized, progenated. New word for a new time. Humanity can be perfected. We came out of the slime and if we don’t plan to stay friends with what made us forever, then progenation is needed.Now don’t start saying that I’m in league with the antiprogs, just because I didn’t complete the treatment! I have a perfectly good reason for that. It’s true an antiprog came to me and got me to quit. She was my own mother! What would you do? Besides progenation wasn’...

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“The Equity Issue” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #200

“That house looks so perfect when he’s not home!” says every neighbor whether they know it or not. Through my smiling teeth, I could say this too, cleaning miscreant leaves that blow west to east, from Todd’s front lawn right to my front door. We stop to take a rest, Sam, and I, before cleaning this leafy mess. Then we get into a discussion about who’s leaving. Uh going away.“Todd lived here twenty years and the police only had to come twice.” Harumphs Sam, pointing to the house in the middle of our respective, u...

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“What Will Be” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #200

She knows how to find these little shops where the aroma of coffee bends the mind from larger issues. Soft paper, moist with liquid that perspires through fingers that grasp the latest flavors, my Affogato with premium vanilla ice cream and a shot of freshly brewed espresso, her flat white double espresso, steamed milk with just a hint of vanilla syrup. All would be well, as vendors hawk their wares down cobblestone streets and the unheard gentle murmurs of the delighted customers who nod and fondle their steaming cups.I can let th...

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“Survey Says!” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #200

Discussion of a war.“Hello? Is this the party to whom I should be speaking?”“It must be for you,” says my mom. On a landline? I’m thinking. Mom is baking chocolate chip cookies and I’m getting ready to go. To get a cookie and still get out the door is the objective. An unexpected phone call isn't going to be helpful.I fumble with the phone while slipping my jacket on, shoes sidling away from my feet, need my hands for those! No speakerphone, ancient contraption this thing, hideous yellow w...

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“Not Knowing” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #199

It wasn’t like I knew any better. How could I? From the time I first knew anything about how the world really worked, it seemed normal, to walk into a roomful of people my age and have three or four girls staring. They were so careful about it. But it got so, I would surprise them with a look of my own when they least expected it. Then the floor was their friend, or the person they were talking to got so much more interesting.But the stranger they were to me, the stranger I was with myself. It was like a knife that cut ...

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“The Amber Alert” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #198

Of all the school trips I was ever on, this one was the worst. Everything went wrong. It started with not all the permission forms coming back and got steadily worse from there. The school secretary had to phone three parents.Now if it was up to me, I would never bother to call. Leave them at school! Wouldn’t this be the perfect opportunity to teach children and even their parents that not being responsible has consequences? But no, we had to wait, the bus driver fuming while the secretary called three par...

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“Houd” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #198

“Okay, class! Pop quiz.”My grade three and four class were too smart for that!“Yeah right! Uh-huh, wake me up when it is over! Dumb Teacher move, gangway, I’m outta here!” all my students said, some skipping words or saying other things I only heard about later.“But seriously! Everything off your desks. EQAO practice test, today, not tomorrow. Time to show me how smart you are…Jimmy, sit down, please…Carter, where is your pencil case…Stop playing with that…Three Two One!!!!”SILENCE“Thank you. Celia, you,...

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“The Bully Principal” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #198

It wasn’t like any other day, with snow falling so thick you couldn’t make out the individual snowflakes. A “snow day” for sure, with no buses running. But that didn’t stop our intrepid principal. He had a bone to pick with his staff, us teachers. One by one we were being called to the office. I called down on my phone to the school secretary.“Just wanted to let you know I’m here,” I said in my most helpful voice.“What’s this about?” called out the grade eight teacher from way down the hall.“The heck I know!” I c...

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“Who Does Everything Right?” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #198

“If Jesus was born, lived, and died in our time, would a church be built on his birthplace?” Half the class was asleep, the other half texting. It was always Emma.“No, Mr. Emerson, We’d set up a special containment facility, temporarily, then preserve everything, just as it was.” She looked at Oliver, Noah, or any of the boys. A reaction, anything at all was needed. One boy stirred, not the one she hoped for.“Yeah, preserve the cow, the dirty straw, pigs being pigs…” piped up Jonah.Everyone laughed, even Mr. Emerson, ...

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“The Gods We Were” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #197

“Your car doesn’t talk to you all the time?” asked Noah. “Mine does.” He just had to comment like that while we were in line waiting to use the chattering Canadian Tire self-checkout.Liam sighed. Everything was a production. Noah couldn’t just get something for work, he had to make discoveries and have revelations.“You know Noah!” A lame play on his name, not funny anymore.“You’re coming with me, Liam?” Noah said as he neared his car.“What does it look like?”“Then put up with me for a bit longer. Listen ...

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“This Will Be My Life” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #197

Eight years old and I never knew I had ADHD. Neither did my parents. It hadn’t been invented yet. Skipping. I skipped everywhere, my poor parents yanked by my hand, my life bobbling to a beat I only knew. I never saw other children, faces all blurry. Then I grew up, like a dandelion, gangly and free. Not too much on the ball, still remember that grade 5 pitch, the only time my bat was my friend. Sailing, sailing s...

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“The Prism” by Joe Smallwood

Submitted to Contest #197

References to an imaginary execution.It’s the darndest thing to fall in love. One minute you are yourself and the next you’re somebody else. You can’t stop thinking about this person. It’s constant. No wonder people aren’t ready to commit. Aside from those feelings, who likes being overwhelmed?It’s the feelings we want, granted. The relationship is secondary. Hopefully, we get somewhere with that too eventually. But this is the closest I ever came to understanding what everyone knows. Life is out of our contro...

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Author bio

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