Ian Barrett

“Knock, knock” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #186

“Don’t forget to put the toilet seat down. I almost fell in last night.” “I could ask you to put the toilet seat up.” “If you would just pee sitting down we would never have to worry about it again.” “I’m not sitting down to pee.” “Jesus, why are all men so insecure? Like anyone is going to see you in your own home sitting down to pee. If anything it’s less work and the floor and walls wouldn’t be covered in piss and have to be cleaned so often.” “Do we really have to argue about this before bed?” “I’m not arguing, just trying to keep m...

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“A bottle, a drive, and a confession” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #171

Here I am, alone, talking into this tape recorder driving these Gulf roads in New Hampshire at an hour when most people are fast asleep, the roadways are devoid of any innocent causalities that I may encounter on my mission. What mission are you on? You might be wondering. Oh, I don’t know if we’ve gotten comfortable enough for me to divulge that just yet. Ride with me for a little bit and let’s see if we get there. A few more pulls off this bottle and I’m sure I’ll spill my guts no matter what. Shit, I just spilled some ...

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“Wishing for sunsets” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #161

I can still remember the first time I saw my mom shoot up.  I must have been 4 or 5. I hardly remember anything about that age but I remember the candle burning on the coffee table, the lights were low in the apartment and the thing I remember most is the smell as she put the spoon underneath the flame. It was pungent, vinegar with a hint of smoke. To this day I can’t stomach anything with vinegar.  Being that young I was just sucked into the image as the flame engulfed the bottom of the spoon. It just hit it and mov...

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“Fugazi” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #127

Mystic Mordo’s is a local psychic shop tucked in between a nail salon and a shawarma shop. Most of the customers immediately notice the sharp contrast of acetone and roasted meat as they make their way through a doorway comprised of strands of glass beads that clank together announcing their arrival. The customer is met by a woman named Veruca. Her real name is Gina but she thought it sounded more Slavic and she loves the character in Roald Dahl’s book. She leads them through a small waiting room which is adorned with various items...

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“If only it were Groundhog Day” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #125

I woke up to the sun on my face and realized I had overslept. When I looked over to my alarm clock it was frozen on the numbers 9:27am. It wasn’t blinking like the power had gone out so I assumed it was just broken. As I pulled the covers off I noticed that they felt heavier. I thought this was a little odd until I tried to pull my legs out. It felt like I had done a 1000 squats. What the hell is going on? I don’t need this shit right now I’m already late for work. I found a shirt and a pair of pants and quickly made...

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“I hate the color blue” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #115

I don’t know when it started. It just happened one night. When everyone woke up it was there. No one knew why or how or what to do. Some people thought it was the government, some thought it was aliens. The blue haze ran along the edges of town. It wasn’t quite a fog but something thicker. If you waved your hand through it it would feel like you were cupping a handful of water in a bathtub, but nothing would come back with your hand. There were a few people who walked into it but were never seen again. ...

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“Drive-ins” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #114

“You wanna do something fun?” Jody said. “What did you have in mind?” Mickey asked. “Let’s get everybody together and go to the drive-ins. It’s the last one and they do the dusk till dawn special. There’s like 4 or 5 movies. Everybody from school is going.” “Alright, let me make some calls.” It was the Labor Day finale at the Northfield Drive-ins and it was always packed. Anybody who was anybody from school was going to be there and Jody wasn’t going to miss it. They never caught a whole movie in all the years ...

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“Where the scary things are” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #113

Max had what you would call “episodes” or that’s what his mother had been calling them. They started when he was young and progressively got worse to the point where she considered having him committed. The things that happened to him even brought Child Welfare Services to their door. It wasn’t just the things he would say it was the physical marks all over his body. There were deep scratches and bruises, even some burns that perplexed the local physicians. This went on for years until Max learned that the more he told people ...

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“No one wants to die on a Sunday” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #112

CW: violenceIt was sometime after 11pm and I was lying on the cool pavement spitting out gobs of blood as feet were stomping and kicking different regions of my body. You might be wondering why I’m getting the holy hell kicked out of me. To better understand why I’ll have to take you back a few days where things really started to go bad. It all started on a Friday night, not so different from any other until she walked into the bar. You could smell her perfume as she sat down, all dolled up for a night on the town. But sh...

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“Cry electric” by Ian Barrett

The room was full of people talking. Some were crying, some were eating hors d’oeuvres. He hated this. He hated the small talk and the constant question: How are you doing? Some people even tried to hug him. He hated that most of all. “Adam honey, could you go to the kitchen and bring out more deviled eggs?” His Mother asked.“Yes Mom,” Adam said. Anything to get away from this circus he thought to himself.He cut his way through the people. A few tried to stop him but he pretended he didn’t hear or see them and j...

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“It's all in the bling.” by Ian Barrett

Submitted to Contest #110

Laura didn’t want to go see Jake’s parents. They were what she would call rich. Rich by her standards because she grew up in the trailer park and his mother always found ways to remind her of that. His father wasn’t so bad. He was quiet and polite but distant. But the mother was relentless in her criticisms. Sometimes it was in the form of underhanded comments or the way she would explain things to her like she was a 5 year old. It was something different every time. She had talked to Jake about it but he would always say...

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